Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

officiant question

both my fiance and i aren't religious or attend a church. We don't really know anyone that could perform the ceremony. We are planning on meeting with a couple of church ministers and i was wondering what to expect at the meetings.

Re: officiant question

  • edited December 2011
    It depends on the religion, most ministers like to do counsiling, usually 3 sections, and get to know the couple. The counsling is just a way for the preacher to know that you are ready for marriage and what it brings. They will discuse the ceremony with you. Most are usually open to what you want, but will have a standard way of doing things. I would suggest not picking any music that can be mistake for volgure or bad language if you are going with song that are not instrimental.

    Just so you know this is what most southern baptist preachers do.
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  • Have you considered hiring a justice of the peace or judge?

    Having a judge does not mean it's going to be impersonal or anything. We hired a judge to do it and the whole thing was beautiful. There's not reason to go through the pastor/preacher thing if you aren't a member of a church and don't want to be.
  • ginadogginadog member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_officiant-question-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:23a28040-cc02-4b33-8999-06f37fe2d301Post:d6e88938-e977-4178-bafd-4123edbd4566">officiant question</a>:
    [QUOTE]both my fiance and i aren't religious or attend a church. We don't really know anyone that could perform the ceremony. We are planning on meeting with a couple of church ministers and i was wondering what to expect at the meetings.
    Posted by sdbangel[/QUOTE]

    FI and I are not religious, nor do we attecnd a church.  We're going with a judge.  he's the only Judge in a 100 miles that can perform marriages.   He used to do 400 weddings a year!  Now it's more like 200 per year since he's semi-retired. 

    Check out your county clerk's office for lists of JPs (Justice of the Peace) or any other municipal officiant.  I couldn't go with a minister personally!
  • I would recommend you go on your local board and ask for recommendations for non-denominational officiants.  Pehraps the ministers you are already meeting with with perform secular ceremonies as well.  There are plenty of people who are authorized to perform weddings (whether they are ordained ministers of some denomination, or are justics of the peace) who will work closely with couples to ensure that they perform the ceremony the couple wants, even if it's very secular.   
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_officiant-question-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:23a28040-cc02-4b33-8999-06f37fe2d301Post:5e490358-1ef3-46e7-b895-afa45519a763">Re: officiant question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Call your county clerk. They usually have a list. Unitarian Univeralist Fellowship ministers will marry anyone, and you don't have to be a member. Online ordinations are NOT legal in every state.  Again, call the county clerk.  Avion, are you aware that they're not legal in North Carolina? Online ordinations are specifically excluded by NC statute.  It's being ignored in some counties, and although county clerks will say it's okay provided a person is ordained - they will quickly tell you no once you make it clear it's an ONLINE ordination.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I wasn't talking about internet ordination, I simply meant that a lot of retired ministers from recognized churches will marry couples in secular ceremonies, or will tailor a ceremony to the couple's needs.   All you have to do is a google search for "Your City" and "wedding officiant" and you will find people who can legally perform ceremonies.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'm actually getting married in Virginia (I have no idea why TK still says I'm in NC), and internet ordination is legal here (though we're not using an internet-officiant).

    </div>
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  • I know in my province there many officiants who are not affliated with a religion that you can hire for a civil ceremony.  A quick google search should show the ones in your area.
    84image 73image 11image Wedding date: June 11, 2011 :)
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