Question from a bride-to-be! (September 2012)

SCogs18

Hi Ladies!  First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your new marriages!

I normally post on the September 2012 board, but I realized I have a question for someone who is already married and my board can't much help with that!  Would you mind offering me a little insight as to how your receptions went?  Was it a total blur?  Did you get to interact with your friends/family or was it an entire night of missing out on the food and trying to say "hi" to everyone?  I'm a little nervous I'm going to spend the entire night entertaining others and not getting a chance to actually enjoy the reception or dance with FI.  Any insight is appreciated.  Thanks so much!

underwne

I was able to eat almost all my food, say hello to every table and dance at my reception. It was a challenge though. Stay close to your Husband and stay connected with a game plan. Eat quickly and then move to tables quickly. I had to rush my hubby through dinner because a young child kept coming over and showing us pictures of his pet goldfish and while I could eat my food and look at the photos, hubby was not nearly as good at multitasking.

You'll be fine. Enjoy your wedding!

geojam224

My caterer was great and made sure we got something to eat.  He served us first and brought us over a drink from the bar and we were done eating by the time the first table was served.  We made our rounds while people ate and we only got to half the tables (DH spent so much time chatting with people at each table that we never got to all the tables for thank yous before dinner was over).  I did get to see most everybody before the night was over, but from pictures I'm realizing there were a few people I didn't even realize had shown up.  There was no time for slipping away with DH and spending time together like I had hoped, but I did get to enjoy the entire reception, got to dance with people (btw, if you don't make it to their table, meeting people on the dance floor is just as good).  However, although I had wished DH and I could spend more time together at the reception, we got the WHOLE NIGHT to ourselves ;-)

Enjoy your wedding.  It feels like a dream!

vineyard12

We had a pretty small wedding of 32 guests, so we were able to eat our dinners, visit with everyone, and take some time out for ourselves. Someone had complained that the room was too cold, so the AC got shut off, and I ended up outside several times because I was sweatin'! Your caterer or coordinator will feed you first, so you should be able to eat something. Definitly stick by your husband, and dancing with him will also give you some time to "yourselves" as well.

Good luck and enjoy your wedding! The whole day and night will go by in a blink and will feel like a dream!

bpphoto785

We had 103 guests and were able to eat, talk to everyone and dance. We also had a sweetheart table so we had some time to ourselves which was awesome!

Our venue also served us first, so we'd sit and eat, talk to a few tables, sit and eat the next course, talk to a few more tables, etc. We were done making rounds by the time dinner was over so we were able to dance and enjoy ourselves the rest of the night. We were even able to sneak out with our photographer and take some more photos.

I think the key is to keep your visit to each table short.

It does go by really fast so make sure to stop every now and then and take everything in! Good luck!

MelisMC

I had 115 guests. The night actually wasn't a blur, but it did go by really fast. I remember someone telling me the time at one point and being shocked.

My venue was really accommodating and brought plates of apps and cocktails. So I was able to enjoy that in between taking pictures. At the actual reception, I talked to every single guest and still had time to dance (4 hour reception). The hardest part was many guests wanted to talk for a long time and there was just no time, so I had to keep it short to move things along. As far as food, we were served first. I had an appetite all day and ate normally on my wedding day, but the second our entrees were served I had no appetite and could not eat more than a few bites. My coordinator was awesome and packed me several to-go containers of extra food so H and I got to enjoy everything the few days at home before we left for the honeymoon. We only had one bite of cake each when we cut it and I wish we had eaten more.

Something I'd strongly suggest is asking to see the room for your reception before everyone else is brought in as cocktail hour winds down. H and I did that and seeing everything all set up with just the two of us was awesome and one of the moments I really remember. We got to take everything in and it was amazing.

mancila60

We had about 100 guests and we were able to talk to people although some did have to come to us. We got to eat but that is because the DJ announced it and we planned it out. Walk in go straight to first dance, get food and sit and eat. After the first dance the DJ said the bride and groom are now going to eat. The guests already had gotten food so they were eating during our first dance and while we were eating.

Just make sure your reception time is long enough and you should be fine.

amandad18

Honestly, I was probably a little bit of a selfish bride. By the time I got to the reception, I didn't care any more about making everyone happy- Meaning I did sit down and eat leisurely, I didn't kill myself making sure I talked to everyone (but I was super available to anyone that wanted to approach me), and if I wanted to play the lawn games instead of dance with my mom's nutty friends from high school, I played lawn games. I think because I wasn't trying to please everyone I have really fun, relaxed memories from the reception.

However- DH and I kept getting split up a TON. I wish we would've made more of a point to stick together. Not a huge thing, but I feel I did spend a lot of time looking for him

KatWAG

I had a wedding of 215 people. I made sure that the caters fed our table first for every course. So we would eat quickly and then go visit tables. My hubby is not good at small talk so he would get caught in longer conversations. But I was able to keep moving and I was able to make it to every table by the time dessert was served. Now, I didnt get to say hi to every single person when I made my rounds but I did get to see a lot. Because of this I got to spend a ton of time on the dance floor with my hubby and friends.

Another thing that worked out great for me (and I know its not for everyone) was how we did our first look. Our ceremony was at 430. But the entire bridal party was completely ready by 1pm. Hubby and I did our first look at 1pmin a park outside the hotel, went to take so family pics at the hotel, then we had the bridal party get on a bus and go take all of our pictures around the city. After that was done we went to the church and had about 45 minutes apart before the ceremony. After we were married, we did a few more group shots at the church (15-20 minutes worth) and then were off to the reception. This way everyone got to enjot the whole cocktail hour.

Hubby and I got to try the Horv's and say hi to people then we snuck up the the dining room before everyone else for our own sneak peak.

If you are okay with seeing your Fi/H for as much time before the wedding as I did, I really recommend it. The first look made it so that we could see everyone and still enjoy our reception.

See you cant even tell that we arent married yet in this picture!

heightdeprived

I"m with Amandad18... we had about 160 pple at our wedding and I made sure I kind of did what I wanted (it's your day). We got to the reception about 5:30pm after taking pictures... anad suppoer was about 6. So we had some time to get drinks, say hi to a few people and get organize. We ate supper with everyone (it was buffet so we went first) and when I was done (and I didn't by any means inhale everything) we had some time to talk to poeple while they were eating and before the program.

I danced when I wanted to dance, and talked to people when I wanted to or when approached. I didn't try to go from table to table becuase people moved around. I had a great night and as far as i know my guests did too! FI didn't actually spend a great amount of time together at the reception... we were talking to different people and what not. But for us it worked!

You''ll find a balance that works for you.. and just go with it... I guess I just didn't feel the pressure to have to talk to EVERYONE. I don't think anyone really expects you to.. i think it's an expectation that Bride's put on themselves and ultimately stress themselves out about. THa'ts my opinion anyway...

fluttaby32

Our DJ told us not to leave each other's side, or else at the end of the night if would be like "How was your wedding?" - "Good, how was your's?"
Im SO glad we got that advice!!

knottieeafa1bb2d69fa208

I was nervous about the same thing, but I think because I went in conscious that I wanted to enjoy every moment I did. I made it a point to be present as much as I could and would take a moment to myself to look around and think "yea this is my wedding day!" and I truly enjoyed it without it feeling like a blur. I remember during cocktail hour thinking "yes, it's only cocktail hour and I've already had so much fun!". I made it a point to eat and spend time with the people I wanted to spend time with. I did quick hellos all around but we didn't make it a big deal by going to every table. More often it was on the dance floor that we said hello and that made it more fun. At one point we kind of took note of the tables we hadn't really seen and went and said hi but made it a point not to linger there too long because we wanted to have fun. It's YOUR day. Do you what makes you feel happy. Yes, it's great that people are there for you but they're having fun too and most often people will come to you. Enjoy every minute!!

 

AurorasEnvy

Our reception was a blast!  We had about 150 people.  I highly rec. doing the first look pics - it gave us a lot more time for other stuff later on.  We were able to enjoy the end of our cocktail hour.  I also highly rec. doing a receiving line.  We did one, with only myself and H, and we were through all the guests in 30 mins.  And I just think it is so much greater talking to everyone immediately after the ceremony while the excitement is still fresh!  It definitely left me free to mingle and chat with whoever I wanted at the reception, and I never felt an "obligation" to spending most of my reception doing table visits or skip dinner to do so, which I think is silly.

I ate, although not a ton (tight corset dress!) and because I wanted to leave room to drink.  I spent about 2.5 hours of my reception out on the dance floor, so I had a blast and didn't feel like I needed to be "entertaining" anyone.

As far as getting time with your husband, H and I made a rule - every time a slow song comes on, we stopped whatever we were doing and found each other on the dance floor (and we weren't even apart for most of the times).

All in all, it was the best.day.ever.  Good luck with the rest of your planning!

em105

Thank you and congrats ladies!! 

I'm also from the September 2012 board and love all the great advice you beautiful ladies have.

I'd never thought about making sure my fiance and I stick together- Now I will!

mandi921vh

Our reception was amazing! We did a receiving line after our ceremony and then went to take all of our pictures with the photographer. We arrived at the reception, had our first dance, then had salad, and then dinner seated with our MOH and BM. Then we mingled with our guests. Then it was time for cake, the parent dances, then the BM speech. Then we pretty much danced the rest of the night away with our friends, and mingled with guests.

I never felt like I had to "entertain" guests, or that I barely saw my DH. We pretty much spent the whole reception together.

SCogs18

Thank you guys so much!  This is really helpful and makes me feel a lot better.  Only a couple of my friends have gotten married and they both talked about how they wished they had more fun at their receptions, so I will take this advice to heart!

dland0201

Before the wedding I felt the pressure to make sure everyone was entertained, but once it actually happened I just focused on my new husband. We did first look pictures and it gave us so much extra time. During cocktail hour we made our rounds to each table. Had plenty on time to eat. We stuck together the whole night. Everyone commented on how in love we were and how happy we looked. My advice is remember the day is about you and your new husband so spend time together everyone else there understands that and just wants be there and observe you two.

annjeanen

I don't know that I have any new words of wisdom but we got the cutest picture at our reception of the two of us embracing after we had been apart for about 10 minutes.  Our reception was small, 50 people, so it was easy to make time for everyone.  A lot of our guests were from out of town so I definitely wanted to make sure I had time to chat with them.  One suggestion is to have the photographer take some pictures of you or hubby with people at different tables.  Even if you only spend 30 seconds with them if you m ake a point of getting a picture they will feel special. 

Also, the staff of our reception were amazing and found me wherever I was to make sure I didn't need a refill or if I wanted an appetizer or something.  It was really helpful!  Most of all just enjoy all your hard work and your new status as husband and wife. 

Bett2012

Our reception didn't have a dance - it was just a lunch/dinner from 2-4:30. We did table visits - about 2-3 mins per table maybe? though my time perception was not great that day.. it flew by!

H and I stuck close the whole day.. do that!!! It was great, and in most of the pictures, we're together, which is how it should be I think... we were at a friend's wedding a few weeks later and they were hardly ever together during the reception it was sad for me, and I was glad H and I stuck so close, because it looked weird for the bride and groom to be so far apart most of the day :P

Also, my MOH flagged us down from table visits whenever a new course would come out so that we got to eat it while it was still hot (and before they took it away!)... ask your MOH or BM to do that for you! (we didn't ask, my MOH was just totally on the ball!)