A Visit from June 2008

Tricie77

OMG! Thank you so much for stopping by and giving your suggestions,etc. I am never on here but when I heard you all were here giving advice I had to drop by and I am glad I did. I love all these post.

amybyrd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:cc39554c-5186-48d0-a861-3c9e83a164a9">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]This is so sweet! Thank you ladies :) What is your favorite part of being married? Just curious!
Posted by mrsjmwolfe[/QUOTE]

It is having someone stand by you through all life throws at you.  If you have picked the right guy(and I am sure you have) he becomes your champion and there is nothing like that feeling.  I love going home, I love hanging out, it makes everything better.  Now sometimes I am so annoyed or angry I could take him or leave him but most days aren't like that.  It is different from dating because it doesn't feel new, it feels comfortable and for me thats the best

sparkles776

I just wanted to thank all you ladies for stopping in! That was so sweet and thoughful of you, I know we will all be together 5 years later, although we arent around TK that much anymore, I seriously dont remember what my life was like before these wonderful ladies. I am looking forward to reading this post later!

MrsAllieH

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:ef1add29-9ef3-44f5-a3be-54c239b66331">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A Visit from June 2008 : It is having someone stand by you through all life throws at you.  If you have picked the right guy(and I am sure you have) he becomes your champion and there is nothing like that feeling.  I love going home, I love hanging out, it makes everything better.  Now sometimes I am so annoyed or angry I could take him or leave him but most days aren't like that.  It is different from dating because it doesn't feel new, it feels comfortable and for me thats the best
Posted by amybyrd[/QUOTE]

<div>So perfectly said, Amy. This really is the best part! I'm more confident in myself because I know that even if everything in the world goes wrong, I still get to come home to him at the end of the day. </div><div>
</div><div>-Allie, married to Paul, no kids yet (thank goodness!)</div>

alliapistor

I did not have a videographer and that was my one regret.  My BIL videotaped some things, but I wish that I had a videographer capture so many parts of the day.  I thought that the photographer would make up for it, but there were moments that just can't be captured in still photos -- like DH putting my ring on the wrong hand.

As for family drama - that's hard.  I guess for us, the answer was that we don't live near family.  Rather than planning the wedding in our hometowns, we did it where we live now.  So both of our families had to travel and the drama queens were too lazy/cheap and stayed home.  The people who came all put aside any differences and focused the day on us.  Or if they didn't I didn't know about it except for a nasty call after the fact by my aunt because I failed to include my somewhat estranged father in the program.  I didn't back down.  I stood my ground.  He wasn't around for the crappy parts of my life, so why should he get the glory on one of the best days.  Ironically, my father never said anything because he knew what he deserved and what he didn't.

belle7fl

Thank you so much June 2008 ladies for taking the time to come talk to us. Everything you said so far has been great advice and has brought tears to my eyes. Now I'm going to have to convince FI that we need to video tape at least some portions of the day! 

I also have to agree with all the other girls, although I am never on TK anymore, I "talk" to these girls everyday and I can't imagine not having them in my life post wedding. Not to mention the invalubleness of their friendship, advice and kindness during the whole planning process. I know we will stay connected for years to come. 

erinlin25

This is great!! I am happy I found the June 2013 board!!  Its nice to have others be just as excited as you are--that is hard to find   Thanks for the advice June 2008 and happy planning June 2013! 

saphire0709

Thanks so much for visiting us!  It really was sweet and we def have a really good bond with a large amount of us June 13 brides going on.  I think having a great group of girlfriends going thru the same struggles really help to keep your head straight.  It was great reading all the answers from all you 08 brides and I look forward to being a 13 bride 5 years from now as well. 

miss*sunshine

There is a new service now where you can rent a few flip video cameras and they will edit the footage for you.  It would be cool to have some friends video and then do candids at the reception.

MeeJay22

    I just want to thank the 2008 Knotties for coming over here to give us such sweet advice and the 2012 Knotties for helping me wrangle the ups and downs of not only wedding planning but life! 
    You guys are helping to me not just to wedding plan but to understand being a women and having relationships with women. It's a long story, but I have always had very difficult times relating to /trusting other women and you guys have completely changed my view in a short 5-6 months!! Then the 2008 Knotties come back from their busy lives 5 years later- it really gives me hope that these friendships will remain

Now to ask for some of that great advice!

Were any of you afraid of losing your independance? My FI isn't controlling or anything but I'm super independant and sometimes I want to take off for a walk in the woods or go for a drive and I  don't like telling someone where I'm going all the time... FI and I don't live together and I am seriously worried about this and I know he does deserve to know where I am... I know, I know I want my bread buttered on both sides!!

FruitSnack84

Wow!! How sweet of you married ladies to think of us and give such good advice! it's so cool to hear that you all are still in touch, I really hope our group of "June Bugs" (as one FI calls us) can stick together the way you have! I have a question...did you all have kids at your weddings and if so, how did that go? (I'm personally worried about tantrums!) Thanks!

star678

There is a ton to read here and I'm sort of skimming while the kids are playing, so I can't read it all, but I'll give you girls the highlights:

Wedding stuff... 

Get the videographer.  Grandparents take the kids on our anniversary and we snuggle up and watch it together.  Best money I ever spent, also probably our biggest splurge.

If you're thinking about boudoir, do it.  I wish I had done them before I had my permanent "service stripes" from my pregnancies.  

Take several small moments on your day to look around at all you worked to achieve.  Steal kisses with your husband.

Enjoy the hell out of your honeymoon, and the simplicity of only worrying about yourselves.  Also, buy something you can keep while you are there.  I have a necklace from mine that I cherish.

Marriage stuff...

Make a list of things you want to do before you have kids and do them... traveling especially.

Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.  Tee hee.  But really, don't ever say anything you don't mean, and keeping it spicy does help.

Keep your inside jokes.  Laugh at your failures.  Always remember those stolen moments at your reception.  

TheKnot stuff:

STAY FRIENDS WITH YOUR JUNIES!  They very well may be the very best friends you could ever ask for.  I found my spouse traditionally, but I found my best friend online.  She was a June girl.  Even though we don't live close to one another, I cannot ever imagine my life without her.  If you get your azz over here and read this, I love you juslyn.  

rmp4996

I missed so much today being at work, but I just read through everything and I thank you guys so much for coming over and sharing your words of wisdom, adivce, everything. It has been so stressful planning, and thaking this time to read all of this great stuff has really put it all back in perspective and made me SO excited for the wedding day and life there after. I, too, am thrilled to hear that you girls have stayed close all these years, as I know I plan to stay close with this group of girls. I fregquent our group more often than I do my own FB page. These girls have truly become my friends, and I'd be lost in this process without them. Thank you for taking the time to post such wonderful advice and I'm sorry I wasn't here throughout the day to participate in all the discussions. There are some great answers on here though, and I plan to come back to this post now and then when things get crazy just to remember what it's all about. Thank you and it was nice "meeting" you ladies!

AllieS421

This all made me tear up. Thank you for helping us to put it all in perspective as we get down to the stress of "crunch-time". I can't wait.

Srahness

I am on my phone so can't quote everything. Advice don't waste your time on grudges. Don't expend all your energy on being mad when there are better uses for it. Try to remember you like to be treated with forgiveness and patience and extend the same courtesy to your partner. Re having kids: We had been together 6 years and married 1 when we started TTC, it was the "perfect" time for us. 3 years and 2 losses later we finally got pregnant with our take home baby. Your timing is never going to be exactly what you expect.so you might as well let that go now. I adore my baby and am thrilled he is here, but with hindsight I am also happy we got a little more time to be just us. Sarah married, one son

Beth&Derek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:d65427d2-e698-41c9-8e82-fa08d090f38c">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone was anticipating family problems regarding the upcoming wedding (divorced parents, estranged relatives, etc), how did that pan out? Did you have reservations about inviting certain people - and did you regret inviting them/regret not inviting them, whatever you did?  Thank you! And so sweet of you all to swing by. We really appreciate it.
Posted by montanabounding[/QUOTE]
I was really worried about my MIL, actually. She and my H had almost no relationship for a few years prior to the wedding and she's an alcoholic, so I was afraid she'd make a scene. We felt we had to invite her, though, so we did. It was fine and everyone behaved themselves. I'm glad we didn't decide against inviting her because she'd never let us forget it if we hadn't!

Beth&Derek

Also, as far as TTC...
We waited until we were married for 4 years to start trying. That was always the plan for us because money was a big factor and we waited until we felt completely comfortable financially. No pregnancy yet, but still I'm glad we waited because we just weren't ready before then.

Beth&Derek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:ff5cf43f-9e96-45dd-bed5-e3451aa8814b">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]  Then the 2008 Knotties come back from the Now to ask for some of that great advice! Were any of you afraid of losing your independance? My FI isn't controlling or anything but I'm super independant and sometimes I want to take off for a walk in the woods or go for a drive and I  don't like telling someone where I'm going all the time... FI and I don't live together and I am seriously worried about this and I know he does deserve to know where I am... I know, I know I want my bread buttered on both sides!!
Posted by MeeJay22[/QUOTE]
Figuring out how to live with each other is tough. That's why they say the first year of marriage is the hardest. For me, the first year of marriage was fine, but our first year of living together was really tough. If you're worried about losing your independence, talk to him now. Let him know that you're expecting to have some alone time even once you live together. It make take some adjusting, but if you talk about as much of those things as you can ahead of time, it'll help.

TaylorNShannon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:ff5cf43f-9e96-45dd-bed5-e3451aa8814b">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]  Now to ask for some of that great advice! Were any of you afraid of losing your independance? My FI isn't controlling or anything but I'm super independant and sometimes I want to take off for a walk in the woods or go for a drive and I  don't like telling someone where I'm going all the time... FI and I don't live together and I am seriously worried about this and I know he does deserve to know where I am... I know, I know I want my bread buttered on both sides!!
Posted by MeeJay22[/QUOTE]
Just let him know ahead of time that you enjoy alone time without having to check in often. I usually just say "I'm going ___, I should be back by x time. If I'm not, try calling and texting to be sure I'm still alive" ;-)

-Taylor, married without kids (thank goodness!)

TaylorNShannon

Some advice:
You're going to fight! That's okay. I agree with star678, keep the fights clean and the sex dirty!

Rely on these girls like you would your friends IRL, they can be awesome!

Don't feel pressured to take a step (buying a house, having kids, etc.) just because everyone else is doing it around you. I'm in the minority on our board now by not having kids, but that's just where DH and I are in our lives.

At the end of the day, he's (or she's) your best friend and biggest support. Even on the hard days, don't forget that! It's awesome to come home after a crappy day to him being there and comforting me.

It's important to maintain yourself! Keep your hobbies and take time for yourself (and your girlfriends) regularly. He fell in love with you for who you are, so don't lose that in your newlywed-ness!

It's important to grow together. We have both changed tremendously in the 5 years we've been married (9 together total), both individually and as a couple. Encourage your SO to grow and reassure him/her that you're still behind them 100%

Good luck with your weddings ladies! May your friendships from here and your marriages be long and happy!!!

-Taylor

Jennrs

Omigosh! So many posts!!! I'm going to have to sit down and read these after the kiddos are in bed.

I can't believe it has almost been 5 years-- time flies, ladies!

My advice: Have fun on your wedding day (duh!) and try not to worry about everybody else. I know that sounds like selfish advice, but you will enjoy it so much more when you're not worried about all of your guests, I guarantee they are having a good time. :-)

And, for marriage advice. Oh, geez. Remember you're in this together. Things will get tough at times (especially when babies come into the pic), and sometimes you will have to remind one another that you are a team. And, travel often. :-)

I'm Jenn, married to my hubby, Jake. Two kiddos, Neena (3 years) and Hugo (7 months). The boards home birthing crunchy mama.

montanabounding

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:d74cb608-d27b-450f-88af-1a2da248fcae">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]The boards home birthing crunchy mama.
Posted by Jennrs[/QUOTE]

<div>Me, too. :) One of my biggest challenges post-marriage is going to be finding a new homebirth midwife in my new home. </div><div>
</div><div>Was that something you and your DH (I'm assuming?) decided on together, or did one of you go into it saying, "This is what I want," and the other one was okay with it? It took me a bit to get FI on board, but my midwife was amazing when my tiny human was born, so that reassured him/made him feel like the right choice was made. I'm the crunchy June bug... I was telling the girls about the awesomeness of Diva Cups and the general response was, "...Ew."</div>

blferguson1s

I've been following this post through most of the day, and I just wanted to say thanks to the 2008 ladies for being our new friends. I know we love hearing that you still have a strong group after several years (and I sense a huge rush of baby fever going around soon because of all your adorable little ones)! I've met some of my best friends from this board, and I'm so thankful for them and for ladies like you all who inspire us to keep our bond strong.

swimmerette00

The only thing I regret is not getting any video. Our photos are ok. Sometimes I wish we had spent more on a pro. Otherwise the day was great forgotten decorations, not enough lunch, and all. : We splurged on our honeymoon worth every penny and then some! As for marriage, I think the best thing is just having someone in your corner to support you through the good, the bad, and the ugly. On babies you have to do what works best for you. We waited to TTC until our 3rd anniversary. Part of this was being ready and some of it was job situations. We really enjoyed that time with just us to sleep in, travel, and just do what we want. We have a 9 month old now and love her to bits, but kids do change things. Make sure you're happy with yourself and with you as a couple before you add stretch marks, sleep deprivation, and concerns about poop into the mix. Beth, married with a daughter

mrsjmwolfe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:e07e8d21-0339-4685-a050-84cd3380f12f">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A Visit from June 2008 : <strong>the crunchy June bug</strong>... I was telling the girls about the awesomeness of Diva Cups and the general response was, "...Ew."
Posted by montanabounding[/QUOTE]



I'll be sure to let FI know he really started something with that one... he will be so pleased! Again to the June 2008 ladies... I know we all really appreciate you stopping in on our board. I felt a definite stronger sense of friendship both on our group elsewhere and even on our normally dead TK bored. I know we all hope to have friendships like yours in five more years.


P.S. Happy 5 year anniversary this year!!!<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

KplusA

Oh my god you guys have no idea how much this has helped me!  I'm starting to freak out about tiny details and money and this just helped calm me down so much!  My FI and I have been together for 6 and a half years and this thread is getting me so excited for the rest of our lives!  Thank you so much for all of your advice!  You also convinced me to make sure that someone takes a video of our wedding  

niemand88f

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:3c9bfb55-54d9-42ed-9261-b19b2b82b0bd">Re:A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]Aww this is so great!!! It's so awesome to hear that this has created such a lasting bond between you ladies! And I must admit I'm a little jealous of the closeness of the June 2013 ladies! I found the discussion boards pretty late in the game : I can't wait to sit down tonight with a glass of wine and read all the wonderful things you ladies have said today!! Have a great day ladies and thanks so much for everything!!!
Posted by CnSinLOVE[/QUOTE]

Yeah it makes me a littel jealous too, seeing all these references to an apparently exclusive group "elsewhere". But I can't change that I only started wedding planning a couple months ago.

Thanks for all the advice from the June 2008 ladies, it is greatly appreciated and I hope you all have another 5x5x5x5x5x5x5x5x5x5x5x5 great years :)

russ0002

I just now had a chance to read all this and soak it all up, and I just want to say thank you so much!! It makes me feel much more assured and relaxed about the big day after seeing everything you former brides had to say. Thank you so much for contributing!