Whew, wedding stuff is making me crazy!

SugarFoote

I keep trying to figure out who we are going to invite so I can estimate the cost of our caterer, get a number for invites/STDs/chairs/tables, etc. I NEED this number. FI is being very uncooperative about inviting his side. He just says, "I don't know."...If you haven't noticed by now, I am a very impatient person. In fact, I would say I have zero patience. I just wasn't graced with that virtue. So FI inability to help me, makes me crazy and I then  get ill and that never ends well.

The venue we booked has a dining area indoors but can probably hold 50 people comfortably. There are several benches and sitting areas outdoors. My plan was to rent about 10 more tables and enough chairs for them (hold 60-80 people depending on the size of table). People could eat indoors, outdoors at the tables, and outdoors at the benches/sitting areas. Is that ok or rude?

My sister, who also by now you know I can't stand, is on a the war path because I want real flowers. She is paying for nothing. Why should she care? She keeps saying little things like, "C is too good to have fake flowers."...Who the hell cares if I have real flowers? It's my wedding. If I want real flowers, I can have them. My parents are paying for the most part of my wedding, but if the flowers go over the budgeted amount for them, I am paying the difference.

Oh and then there is the fact that I could get attacked by a black bear on our honeymoon! Not likely I know, but still it could happen.

Speaking of honeymoon...I found a better cabin...no indoor private pool but it has a home theater in the loft and a "dance pole"...is that a stripper pole? lol is that even sanitary?? hahaha

And possible date change to  6/22/13...that's just bumping it up a week so we don't have to pay the holiday rate for the cabin and plus it won't be as packed in Gatlinburg. I'm actually more excited about the honeymoon than I am the wedding.

ETA: Just looked at more pictures! It has a massive shower. Like multiple shower heads...lol that could be fun.

cnf2013

Good luck with your guest list! Everyone seems to struggle with that. Somehow FI and I had no qualms or issues putting ours together. We're still planning on adding a few, but we never disagreed on a single aspect of it, which I'm very grateful for. 

Tell your sister to go shove it. If she wants real flowers than she can foot the bill. 

And I'm sure you must have sweet bear fighting skills. I have faith in your ability to win a fight with a bear. Just saying =P

bar10521

I made my FI write out his guest list on the plane ride home literally 3 days after we got engaged. I know I'm inasne when it comes to planning and this was a bit much but at the time I thought what else are you going to do for 3 hours? So not having a list would drive me insane!

I'm sure you can handle a bear and besides your FI will be there to protect you.

P.S. what happened with that dog? Did you find an owner or do you have a new family member?

kellyeliz

I also made FI make a guest list 3 days after we got engaged. I couldn't book a venue without knowing an estimated guest list number!

As for your seating arrangments - are you having a formal sit down dinner? Are you having a seating chart? I know it was my preference that everyone was in the same room so as long as it doesn't matter to you and it isn't a formal affair with a seating chart I would think that would be fine?.

Tell your sister - Fake flowers can sometimes be more expensive than real flowers!

Are you bumping your wedding date up a week? Does your venue have that date available? Or are you taking your honeymoon before your wedding?

sparkles776

Making FI write a guest list was the absolute first thing I did, I needed to know what types of venues to look for based on the amount of people we will be having. Our guest list keeps changing slightly, like taking a couple people off, adding another couple on, etc. It is pretty much finalized but I am sure we will continue to tweak it a bit until save the dates go out.

cnf2013

FI and I sat down and did our guest list the day after we got engaged. You can't do anything until you know a rough nunber of guests!

SugarFoote

@bar: No one ever claimed him and he didn't have a chip so he was part of our family for a little while. Then he just up and left and we haven't seen him for about a week. I guess he moved on to someone else.

@kelly: I don't know if we are bumping it up yet or not. I mentioned it to FI but we haven't got to really talk about it yet. And I've already checked with the venue. She said I was the only person for 2013 period except for 2 events in January. Mostly only people within the community or people who have relatives within the community use it. It isn't a well known fact that you can even rent it. So we are good on the venue.

ETA: And the HM would be after the wedding.

ktwed1

I had to make my FI do his guest list right away also. Otherwise I would still be fighting for it. I'm very impatient as well and just doing what I need to do to get things moving. If I waited until his schedule opened up we would be no where.

cnf2013

Sugar, does moving your date effect any of your other vendors? Would you lose any and have to sconge for new ones? Just curious!

SugarFoote

cnf- our caterer is my cousin. She does it in her free time and mainly only for family or close friends of hers. She said as long as I give her a few months heads up, everything will be fine. The lady making the cake is family friend of FI's. She retired from her business last year, but said she was "coming out of retirement" for us. Nothing will be affected.

chickadee52287

I pretty much lucked out when it came to the guest list. I know most of FI family, so I sat down and wrote out everyone I knew for both sides, then had him look at it to see if I missed anyone he could think of. Then I sent the list to my mom and had her add people I didn't think of(my dad's cousins and aunts, etc) Since they are paying for the wedding I wanted her to make sure she added everyone they wanted to come. Now I just have to have FIs parents look at the list to see if there is anyone else they would like to invite.

sparkles776

Sugar, one thing you could do if you are on good terms with your FMIL is ask for a list from her, it might be more helpful then getting a list from him. I had lists from FI, my mom, and FIs parents within the first month of being engaged, one thing I realized was that FI left a lot of must invite people off of his list.

SugarFoote

sparkles, I didn't even think about that. FI is 1 of 5 sons. FMIL has zero daughters and I secretly think I am the favorite. So I think I shall ask FMIL if she can come up with a list.  thanks ladies!