June 2013 Weddings

I'm not so sure anymore.

Hi everyone. I'm not so sure if I want to get married anymore. My fiancee isn't doing ANYTHING to prepare for the wedding. We're supposed to be getting married on June 22 and we don't have anything done. He hasn't even picked out his groomsmen yet. I have my side of the party picked out already. Every time I try to bring up the subject and planning, he shots me down by saying that we need to wait until the day is closer because we don't know what or money will look like. I try to retool him that you can't plan a wedding in two weeks. I have been hearing this for over two years now and I've just about given up on getting married. I haven't even started planning and am extremely stressed. I'm trying to convince myself that, we know we love each other so why do I need papers to tell me that. I know that it's not really like that but I just don't want to deal with it anymore if he's not going to put forth any effort. Sorry for the long rant, just needed to get that out somewhere, since it just goes into one of his ears and out the other. Thanks in advance for reading.

Re: I'm not so sure anymore.

  • I'm sorry he's not cooperating with you. Would going the courthouse with close family and friends be an option?

  • sorry you are feeling this way.  You and FI need to have a serious conversation about what type of wedding you want to have so you can make a budget and commit to saving for it.  If you want a big wedding, then yes you need time to plan for it; but there is nothing wrong with doing a small wedding or going to the court house to get married.  Do you have a venue booked for the 22nd?  
    image

    Anniversary
  • In Response to I'm not so sure anymore.:
    Hi everyone. I'm not so sure if I want to get married anymore. My fiancee isn't doing ANYTHING to prepare for the wedding. We're supposed to be getting married on June 22 and we don't have anything done. He hasn't even picked out his groomsmen yet. I have my side of the party picked out already. Every time I try to bring up the subject and planning, he shots me down by saying that we need to wait until the day is closer because we don't know what or money will look like. I try to retool him that you can't plan a wedding in two weeks. I have been hearing this for over two years now and I've just about given up on getting married. I haven't even started planning and am extremely stressed. I'm trying to convince myself that, we know we love each other so why do I need papers to tell me that. I know that it's not really like that but I just don't want to deal with it anymore if he's not going to put forth any effort. Sorry for the long rant, just needed to get that out somewhere, since it just goes into one of his ears and out the other. Thanks in advance for reading.
    Posted by IkeshiaB
    This is what stood out to me. It sounds like you guys need to have a heart to heart to get on the same page. If he proposed to you, then it's reasonable for you to expect that marriage will be the end result of that proposal (since that's the point of being engaged). I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but it definitely sounds like you two need to figure out what expectations each of you have. A pastor, minister, or counselor may be able to provide you with some insight and guidance.
  • So you've ben engaged for two years, have nothing done as far as planning goes, sounds like you have no budget and nothing paid for, and he refuses to speak about the wedding? Honey, I'm sorry, but your whole post is a giant red flag to me. Yes he proposed, but it honestly sounds to me like he's not ready. You guys need to have a serious talk about your relationship, not the wedding. You are both on two competely different ends of the wavelength right now and need to figure out where your relationahip is at and going before you plan anything. And I second Erin's question; do you have a venue booked? You say you have nothing don, but you have a quickly approaching date. What do you have done, honestly?
                                                                                  Follow Me on Pinterest
  • I ditto the other ladies -- it kind of sounds like he proposed before he was ready. Especially if you guys don't have ANYTHING planned at all. Sit down and have a serious conversation about this, where you guys are both at and where you want to be by June / end of the year. If it is just the planning of a huge event that he is leary of maybe you can scale back and just do an intimate ceremony like that gals have mentioned - less stress and less planning needed for sure. Best of luck
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to Re: I'm not so sure anymore.:
    So you've ben engaged for two years, have nothing done as far as planning goes, sounds like you have no budget and nothing paid for, and he refuses to speak about the wedding? Honey, I'm sorry, but your whole post is a giant red flag to me. Yes he proposed, but it honestly sounds to me like he's not ready. You guys need to have a serious talk about your relationship, not the wedding. You are both on two competely different ends of the wavelength right now and need to figure out where your relationahip is at and going before you plan anything. And I second Erin's question; do you have a venue booked? You say you have nothing don, but you have a quickly approaching date. What do you have done, honestly?
    Posted by cnf2013
    This.  Good luck, you have some big decisions ahead of you.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • The only thing I can possibly add is that a marriage and wedding are not going to fix your relationship, which seems to be the problem. I would seriously get on the same page with your FI and figure out where your relationship  is heading before you do any type of planning.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest
  • I noticed you haven't written back yet, but I second the other girls.
    June 22nd is quickly approaching- has ANYTHING been set yet?  Did you send out Save the Dates? Most girls are getting their invitations ready at this point and have most things booked.

    I agree with cnf in that this whole situation seems like a red flag. 

    June is a busy wedding month and places book up early- I think you'd be hard pressed to find something in such short notice.
    I think you two need to sit back and discuss the overall relationship first- then focus on the wedding.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards