Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Guest list???

So I just got engaged and my fiancé and I are trying to figure out what type of wedding we want. I've always dreamed of having a large fairytale wedding. But my fiancé has a very small family (only parents, 2 siblings, niece and nephew) and wants a small, intimate wedding. I have a large family (mom, 3 brothers, nephew, 14 aunts and uncles, their spouses, their kids, their grandkids, etc.) and would like to include them all in the celebration somehow...

What is a good way to do it so I can have everyone there who is important but not have a completely uneven group of guests?

Re: Guest list???

  • Guests do not have to sit on separate sides, so its ok if the bride has more guests than than the groom in attendance.  Let your guests know to sit anywhere so the FI family does not look so small, if that is a worry of his.

    With that said, you and FI need to compromise on the type of wedding you will have.  It is BOTH of your weddings, so each of your "fairytail" weddings do not match up-- both of you need to compromise. 

    First--who is paying!?  That will help determine if you host 20 guests or 100 real fast.  Start with a budget to help determine how many you will be able to host.  make a potential guest like with people you definitely want to invite vs. people you would like to invite.  Once you know your budget you can work between those lists to determine the actual invite list.  Just remember to work with your FI so he does not feel his opinions do not matter.
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    Anniversary
  • If your fiance doesn't want a large wedding, you need to compromise and make cuts to your family and have a wedding you are both comfortable with.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_guest-list-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:ade1b53a-c16b-4941-ba79-f2b2593c70cbPost:3285ef16-7797-4dbf-8f31-a878d5a3684b">Guest list???</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I just got engaged and my fiancé and I are trying to figure out what type of wedding we want. I've always dreamed of having a large fairytale wedding. But my fiancé has a very small family (only parents, 2 siblings, niece and nephew) and wants a small, intimate wedding. I have a large family (mom, 3 brothers, nephew, 14 aunts and uncles, their spouses, their kids, their grandkids, etc.) and would like to include them all in the celebration somehow... What is a good way to do it so I can have everyone there who is important but not have a completely uneven group of guests?
    Posted by Ghoward22[/QUOTE]
    Basically, you need to decide what you mean by "everyone there who is important." If you want a large wedding and he wants a small wedding, you both need to decide who is important to you and come up with a workable number that fits your dream wedding and his dream wedding.

    Sides don't have to be even, ever.
    You don't have to seat your family on one side and his family on the other side, at the ceremony or the reception. Just seat them from front to back, in both cases. So don't go by even sides. Go by who is truly important to you. If your entire family, second cousins and third aunts twice removed included, are important to you, then there you go.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I agree with Erin in that you must determine your budget before anything else. Second priority is looking at ceremony venues you can afford, Third is looking at reception venues you can afford. You may find very quickly that a guest list of 150 or less is most feasible.

    Also, in talking to FI's family, you may find they have a very large extended network of friends or colleagues they would like to invite. Having a "small family" does not always equal small guest list.
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