Poor Groom Rehearsal Dinner Woes

ricka182

I'm recently engaged, with a wedding date of 10/19/2013.  My problem is my inability to pay for a rehearsal dinner.  The venue we are having the ceremony and reception at has a 35 person minimum at $22 p/p, plus room rental fee, + 27% tax and fees(not including alcohol)...we only have about 45 people total as guests.  So even if the RD is only bride, groom, bride-to-be's mother, and those in the ceremony(4-6 others), I'm looking at close to $600, IF they waive the minimum person requirement...I still don't have that money.  I'm already paycheck to paycheck, with $20k in debt....  I have no parents to ask for help, and we live about 90 minutes from the venue itself, so I can't expect people to attend at the venue, and then drive that far to my house for a low-key BBQ or pizza party...If we went to a restaurant, it would certainly be more than $600..

Any ideas?  I don't think I can get away with not having an RD..  But I'm in no way able to pay for it.. 

kerbohl

I've been told that the RD is in no way necessary, but you say that you don't think you can get away with not having one.  Any particular reasons for that? 
Also, the RD doesn't have to be at your venue - you can go to a nice restaurant without having to pay room rental for it, and it might not be $22 pp.  That's what I'm doing for mine, and it goes down to $15 pp without room rental. 

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_poor-groom-rehearsal-dinner-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:cc9be130-54d4-46cd-baf6-22fe761eea3bPost:0106b687-bdaa-4c94-927f-3390f60e5a47">Poor Groom Rehearsal Dinner Woes</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm recently engaged, with a wedding date of 10/19/2013.  My problem is my inability to pay for a rehearsal dinner.  The venue we are having the ceremony and reception at has a 35 person minimum at $22 p/p, plus room rental fee, + 27% tax and fees(not including alcohol)...we only have about 45 people total as guests.  So even if the RD is only bride, groom, bride-to-be's mother, and those in the ceremony(4-6 others), I'm looking at close to $600, IF they waive the minimum person requirement...I still don't have that money.  I'm already paycheck to paycheck, with $20k in debt....  I have no parents to ask for help, and we live about 90 minutes from the venue itself, so I can't expect people to attend at the venue, and then drive that far to my house for a low-key BBQ or pizza party...If we went to a restaurant, it would certainly be more than $600.. Any ideas?  I don't think I can get away with not having an RD..  But I'm in no way able to pay for it.. 
Posted by ricka182[/QUOTE]
If you have a rehearsal, you need to have SOME kind of dinner to thank people. Unless your ceremony is complicated, you could always skip rehearsal altogtether. <div>
</div><div>Surely there is a restaurant nearby where you could go that would not cost so much. We went to Pizza Hut and hosted about 20 people for a couple hundred bucks. </div><div>
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MairePoppy

You probably don't need a rehearsal. Most weddings aren't that complicated. You and your bride to be could meet with your officiant to go over the details. If you don't have a rehearsal then there's no need to have a dinner.

If you absolutely need a rehearsal, have it off site. If your backyard is convenient to the wedding party, practice there and have pizza or bbq afterwards. If you've already gone over everything with the officant, you probably can do a run through without him/her. 

ricka182

Thank you for the replies.  I will speak to my fiance about not having a rehearsal, but I'm pretty sure she and her Mother will demand we do it.  The whole thing is very low key, and there won't be much involved. 

I see it as this:  She comes out of a side door of the venue, walks to the aisle area, I'm already waiting by a gazebo in front of the guests, along with our officiant, she then walks down, and we do our thing.  Then we walk up the aisle, and into a small holding area, so the guests can then file in for reception/cocktail hour while we are doing pictues, etc.  Then we come in, have dinner, etc...

I guess I'll have to find some money and do a low-key thing, pizza or something.  I'm not familiar with the area at all, but I'm sure I can find something.  I just don't want her Mother, family or guests to think I'm a cheapo...Thank you again for the replies..

-The in-debt/"cheapo"/nervous groom-to-be...

MoxieMickie

In Response to Re: Poor Groom Rehearsal Dinner Woes:
[QUOTE]Thank you for the replies.  I will speak to my fiance about not having a rehearsal, but I'm pretty sure she and her Mother will demand we do it.  Posted by ricka182[/QUOTE]

This is the real problem you need to address. Even if her mother is paying for the wedding, she has no right to demand someone else pay for a rehearsal and dinner. Your fiance needs to have a better understanding of your (plural) financial limits. Have you two talked about your finances, plans to get out of debt, long term financial goals, etc?

stampadhesive

I would never have my rehearsal dinner at the location of my reception.  It would be like  s repeat for your wedding party the next day.  Spice it up and do something that contrasts your wedding. 

msdds51

A lot of places will offer you a fixed menu so that your guests for the RD can't go crazy ordering expensive stuff, too!  I was looking at a place that was a popular bar in my area that offered an appetizer buffet for around $8/pp.  No picking off a menu.