Registry and Gift Forum

Money dance thank you's?

We did the money dance at our wedding (which is really common and expected in the New Orleans area.) I've been trying to keep track of all of the gifts we got for our wedding so that I can send thank you cards out soon. But I'm confused as to how it works with the money dancce. There was no way to keep track of ALL of the people we danced with for this dance. I'd love to thank everyone who gave us a monetary gift, but I'm really confused as to how. And we have absolutely no clue as to who gave what amount of money. 

Re: Money dance thank you's?

  • yet another reason not to do a money dance...
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • The money (dollar) dance is open to everyone and anyone who wants a dance with the Bride and the Groom. No formal thank you is required or expected. Its not like attending the wedding where a gift is expected, because people can stay seated, look on and enjoy.
  • It's interesting that you're trying to be polite about something as crass as a money dance.

    If you can't remember whether they gave you anything during the dance, don't mention it.  If you do remember dancing with them, you could mention how much you enjoyed celebrating (and dancing) with them in the thank you note. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_money-dance-thank-yous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:67ad17b3-925b-43ab-b880-29a439443992Post:c88a4a60-1e77-4ecb-aa81-cb78a705fd73">Money dance thank you's?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We did the money dance at our wedding <strong>(which is really common and expected in the New Orleans area.</strong>) I've been trying to keep track of all of the gifts we got for our wedding so that I can send thank you cards out soon. But I'm confused as to how it works with the money dancce. There was no way to keep track of ALL of the people we danced with for this dance. I'd love to thank everyone who gave us a monetary gift, but I'm really confused as to how. And we have absolutely no clue as to who gave what amount of money. 
    Posted by mdupon70997[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This doesn't make it right.  Haven't your guests spent enough money on you already?  Do you really have to ask them for even more money?  That's awfully rude.

    </div>
  • I'm really shocked at how many people think that a money dance (which is done in a part of the world where it's a frequently practiced tradition) is rude. So many guests opt to give the bride and groom a monetary gift during the money dance instead of a traditional gift from a brick and mortar store. We don't think it's rude at all here in this part of the U.S. A lot of guests look forward to it as a chance to get to talk with the bride and/or groom for a few moments. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_money-dance-thank-yous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:67ad17b3-925b-43ab-b880-29a439443992Post:b29dcdd6-13cf-46bd-97ab-262e111768dc">Re: Money dance thank you's?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm really shocked at how many people think that a money dance (which is done in a part of the world where it's a frequently practiced tradition) is rude. So many guests opt to give the bride and groom a monetary gift during the money dance instead of a traditional gift from a brick and mortar store. We don't think it's rude at all here in this part of the U.S. A lot of guests look forward to it as a chance to get to talk with the bride and/or groom for a few moments. 
    Posted by mdupon70997[/QUOTE]

    Please dont blame your rude and tacky behavior on an entire city. And just becasue others do it, doesnt make it right.

    There is no need to address the dollar dnace in your TY note, the damage has been done.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_money-dance-thank-yous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:67ad17b3-925b-43ab-b880-29a439443992Post:b29dcdd6-13cf-46bd-97ab-262e111768dc">Re: Money dance thank you's?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm really shocked at how many people think that a money dance (which is done in a part of the world where it's a frequently practiced tradition) is rude.<strong> So many guests opt to give the bride and groom a monetary gift </strong>during the money dance instead of a traditional gift from a brick and mortar store. We don't think it's rude at all here in this part of the U.S. A lot of guests look forward to it as a chance to get to talk with the bride and/or groom for a few moments. 
    Posted by mdupon70997[/QUOTE]

    I always give a monetary gift.  It's put in a card and into the card box on the gift table.  A money dance is asking for money above and beyond what a guest has already given, and that, quite frankly, is rude.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_money-dance-thank-yous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:67ad17b3-925b-43ab-b880-29a439443992Post:b29dcdd6-13cf-46bd-97ab-262e111768dc">Re: Money dance thank you's?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm really shocked at how many people think that a money dance (which is done in a part of the world where it's a frequently practiced tradition) is rude. So many guests opt to give the bride and groom a monetary gift during the money dance instead of a traditional gift from a brick and mortar store. We don't think it's rude at all here in this part of the U.S.<strong> A lot of guests look forward to it as a chance to get to talk with the bride and/or groom for a few moments. </strong>
    Posted by mdupon70997[/QUOTE]

    <div>As a guest at a wedding I <strong>expect </strong>to be able to talk with the bride and/or groom for a few moments without having to pay.</div>
  • edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_money-dance-thank-yous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:67ad17b3-925b-43ab-b880-29a439443992Post:d62aa813-bdc3-4f37-ab44-8be42d282160">Re: Money dance thank you's?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Money dance thank you's? : As a guest at a wedding I expect to be able to talk with the bride and/or groom for a few moments without having to pay.
    Posted by EK2013[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>This exactly.  The fact that guests have to PAY to get the common courtesy of a one-on-one moment with the bride and groom is a freakin tragedy.  Like, I want to have a tiny funeral for the death of good hosting.</div><div>
    </div><div>As a host, it is your OBLIGATION to your guests to properly thank them, shake their hand, and spend a moment of your time with them to acknowledge their presence.  You're not a member of the English royal family.  Nobody should have to pay you for your presence.</div>
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • There's a difference between your guests willingly and happily handing over a gift of cash and a specific song being played while you dance, gesturing "Gimme gimme!" Sigh, this tradition really needs to die out already.
  • EK2013EK2013 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_money-dance-thank-yous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:67ad17b3-925b-43ab-b880-29a439443992Post:514e9fd4-3450-42e1-a789-c2b5d8c49754">Re: Money dance thank you's?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's interesting that you're trying to be polite about something as crass as a money dance. <strong>If you can't remember whether they gave you anything during the dance, don't mention it.  If you do remember dancing with them, you could mention how much you enjoyed celebrating (and dancing) with them in the thank you note. </strong>
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    <div>Also, OP, this is the right answer. It is nice that you at least want to recognize the additional gift, and I encourage you to move forward with this advice.</div>
  • My family comes from Western PA and does a bridal dance.  It IS a very cultural dance and no wedding in my family is complete without it. A specific polka song is played.  A guest places a bill of their choice in an apron worn by a bridemaid, the guest dances with the bride to the polka for a short time, then, if they guest is male, they get a shot of whisky.  If the guest is female, they get a piece of cake.  As guests finish dancing with the bride, they are supposed to join hands and dance in a circle around the bride.  Once all the guests that are going to join in are in the circle, the groom is supposed to try to 'break' the circle and 'steal' the bride.  There's supposed to be lots of talking/singing in mother country tounges, with yelling back and forth about how you can't have the bride and whatnot, but no one in my family does that part because everyone speaks English now.  I know 'paying' to dance with the bride is a bit tacky, but we are really talking about a dollar here.  Only close family members put in larger bills.  And it a cultural tradition.  

    As for thank you notes, none are required.  When writing a thank you note for the wedding gift, it would be nice to mention how you also enjoyed dancing with them.
  • If you can remember dancing with them or think you may have, i would write something a long the lines of "it was great being able to have a moment together that night" or something about their dance moves. It would not refer specifically to the dollar dance, but would none the less make them feel appreciated. 

    As for the dance itself, she's already done it. Let it be already. 
  • Benny618 said:

    yet another reason not to do a money dance...

    This.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I was at a wedding where the couple did a dance, but it was not labeled a "money dance."  It was called a celebrate dance.  No money was required to be given, but if you wanted to dance with groom or bride they gave that option.  The reason they did this was because the bride liked the part where she can have a moment with some of her guests, but hated the money part.  Some of the guests who were familiar with the tradition of "money dances" gave her money anyways.  She did tell them a few times that she did not want it, but a couple of the older guests would not accept it back.  I think if anyone really wanted that one on one time with the guests there is a way to do it, without asking for money.  I agree that the "money dance" tradition is very out dated and is seen as not so much a cultural thing anymore.  So "breaking" this tradition can be done, but just won't be as easy for some of those guests who actually look forward to it.  And when I say people who look forward to it, I mean I have family and friends who have said to me on multiple occasions "I can't wait to dance with you at the dollar dance..." and sadly have to inform them I will not be having one.  BUT tell them I will keep my dance card open all night to dance with them whenever they want! :-)
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