Getting Married in August (No kids Adult event only)

Lilmama411

Me & my FI & I are mailing our invitations tomorrow. We both decided we didn't want any kids at the wedding which it does state on the invitation below.The only child there will be my 10yr old son and, My Fi daughter who is 20 so she doesnt count. They are the only ones in our wedding. My question is how many of the brides to be are doing the same thing we are? How would you handle the situation if someone got offended by no kids allowed at wedding? Hopefully I don't have that issue with anyone. Most of the people we invited are a older crowd. By it just being our kids in the wedding the only issue I am going to probably run into is my sister and her kids. Do I feel she is gonna make a big issue out of her kids not being able to come? Yes, because they are my nieces & nephew is what she will say. I don't want any conflict on my wedding day due to letting them come and someone saying well how come I could not bring my kids. How would you handle that situation if it came about?

Viczaesar

What exactly do you mean by "it does state on the invitation"?  Did you address the invitations only to the adults invited, or did you write something like "No children allowed"? 

MikesAngie

Retread covered that beautifully! 

We had the ooposite issue we invited the kids because we invited family.  The interesting thing was the parents decided this was going to be a date night and opted to leave the kids at home.  With that being a decision that we didn't expect, we scrambled and were able to invite some friends as well.  Thank goodness for all the ways to communicate so that we didn't have too many late issue invitations we did have a couple but those were requested by the invitees and we had the room. 

Lilmama411

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_getting-married-in-august-no-kids-adult-event-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:469dd3e1-c793-43e7-a610-51e636d56d44Post:f3850261-4fbe-4629-b60a-4c6e20b453c2">Re: Getting Married in August (No kids Adult event only)</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not rude to have an adults-only wedding, but it IS rude to state this on the invitation. An invitation is only for the persons to whom it is addressed. Etiquette obliges a bride to assume that her guests are smart enough (and polite enough) to know this.  If they respond with "plus two" or "plus Little Sugarbuns" THEN the bride is entitled to phone them and explain sweetly that the event is adults-only/she can't accommodate additional guests, etc. If the guest gets offended and says they won't attend sans child, then the bride's correct response is, "I'm sorry to hear that.  We'll miss you." Putting it on the invitation was a bad idea.  You can expect some offended friends there.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Well to be honest I don't have but maybe 2 family members that I invited that have kids and they defin didn't get offended at all because I told them ahead of time I was putting it on there. If they change there mind that they don't like it so be it my wedding day will go on with or without anyone who has a issue with how we want our wedding. I know the last 2 weddings we went to they put the same thing on there invitation I defin didn't get offended because, we already knew what kind of wedding this was gonna be by it being open bar a big party. I have a 10yr old son so it defin doesn't have anything to do with not involving kids. I'm having a evening wedding also and they knew what type of wedding it was gonna be ours was just a reminder that's all. I made this post just to see if any brides are doing the same thing we are with an adult event wedding. Thanks for your input

Lilmama411

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_getting-married-in-august-no-kids-adult-event-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:469dd3e1-c793-43e7-a610-51e636d56d44Post:63cdc60b-76ee-4829-85b6-b222c78c94d6">Re: Getting Married in August (No kids Adult event only)</a>:
[QUOTE]What exactly do you mean by "it does state on the invitation"?  Did you address the invitations only to the adults invited, or did you write something like "No children allowed"? 
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

Please no kids adult event only. Like I was telling the other post I only have maybe 2 family members that I invited to the wedding that have kids and they defin didn't get offended because we told them ahead of time and they totally understand. They two also had a wedding with no kids there. This is my second go round so with my first I had like 165 guests. Now that this is a new beginning for me I'm doing an adult wedding event and my FI is cool with it also he has a child to who is 20 so she doesn't count she & my son are the only ones in our wedding. I made this post to see if any brides are doing an adult event like us that's it. If someone gets offended by our invite we will miss them but my wedding is going on with or without them there.

Lilmama411

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_getting-married-in-august-no-kids-adult-event-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:469dd3e1-c793-43e7-a610-51e636d56d44Post:d8250e0e-7d3e-45ae-bd98-8f5bc315c8f2">Re: Getting Married in August (No kids Adult event only)</a>:
[QUOTE]The fact that someone else did it doesn't make it the right thing to do.  Would you jump off a cliff just because other people did? The day stops being about just the bride and groom once they choose to involve others in it.   Brides and grooms invite guests because they're people they care about.  Why risk offending them, or shrug their shoulders and say, "if they don't like it, then we don't care since it's our wedding," since they cared enough about them to invite them in the first place? Plenty of people have adults-only events.  That concept is not rude if it is done appropriately.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Like I said earlier in my post my last name is gonna change whether they are there or not. To clear it up in my own personal opinion it is about the bride & groom to choose what they want to do with there wedding because, that's there day. That's your own opinion call it what you want. One thing I don't do is follow behind anyone lets also clear that up real quick. The crowd we roll with knows what gonna happen on our day mines was a reminder if someone was to bring along others we don't know. Again thanks for your own personal opinion. Congrats to you if you are getting married too!

shaylagirl

I'm sorry...but defin? 

Do you mean definitely?

Honestly, I would feel awful if I told my sister "Tough cookies.  You're not welcome because your kids aren't welcome."  She's my blood and my family!  As are her children!!  Don't you think your nieces and nephews might want to see their Auntie get married?

As PPs have said, there's a polite way to handle it.  You've already mailed your invites, so that ship has sailed.  I'd expect some pushback from some people with children. 

Mikesgal419

FI and I decided that the only children that are at the reception are those that are in the ceremony. That's my kiddos, and all my nieces and nephews. FI doesn't have children or nieces or nephews. My children are IN the ceremony and my nieces and nephews have smaller parts. Like the guest bat attendants, Jr. Ushers, etc. I am hoping that none of FI family take offense since most of them don't know the whole situation that this is my second marriage and that I have 5 kids. We figured though that if every child had a role, then we could use that if anyone says anything. "Well, they are at the reception because they were____ in the wedding." I couldn't imagine my nieces and nephews not being at my wedding. They are so excited that I have found such a wonderful guy. I don't know of this helped or not. Good luck in whatever you decide