I have a friend who was kind of a "hadtoaskher" bridesmaid. Ten months ago when I asked her to be in my wedding she was all enthusiastic and went with me to look at dresses and was helping plan things. Since then she got a new BF who has pretty much isolated her from all her friends. This guy is a MAJOR dbag and no one wants him around. But she seems obsessed with him almost like he is a cult leader and she is his follower! and she has totally blown me and the other maids off for the last 6 months. This new BF is in AA and he somehow convinced her that she also had a drinking problem she didn't and made her join AA with him. Since then she has been harping on me, my fianc, and other friends about drinking. She acts like if you have one glass of wine with dinner you're a raging alcoholic. Her BF actually cornered a friend of ours at a BBQ a couple months ago and lectured her because she had ONE beer. He even tried to lecture MY father at that same BBQ because my father was drinking ONE cocktail. It's really inappropriate and annoying.
She is been totally uninvolved and uninterested in wedding stuff and even nonwedding activities that we plan. The things she has been around for she has been late and/or "forgot" to do something she was supposed to do. I have been worried for a while that she would drop out of the wedding but when she finally purchased her dress she was the last of my 5 girls to finally get her dress I felt that she was safe and was still planning on being part of it. Well that past few weeks she has completely ignored my texts and calls and last night we were all supposed to get together and she texted another BM 15mins before we were supposed to meet and said she wasn't coming. I feel like she is angry at me/us but I have no idea why. And I'm also starting to get kind of angry. The wedding is 5 weeks away and I feel like she's going to flake out at the last minute. And on top of that, because she has been acting this way, part of me hopes she drops out or maybe I should ask her to step down. I stressing enough and I can't be worried about her all the time, if she'll show up, if she'll be late, if she'll forget something. I do not feel like I can depend on her at all. And even more, other people in the wedding party feel like they don't even want her and especially her BF around because if the constant comments and "lectures" about drinking. It's a wedding, there is going to be an open bar! I can only imagine the field day the two of them will have.
I need advice. Should I ask her to step down? If so, how do I do that?