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Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar

snoopycacsnoopycac member
First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Reception Forum
I need some advice. My family doesn't drink, but FI's do. Should we have a cash bar for them? Or should my fiance and I have a hosted bar?
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Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar

  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:7b2ef0bf-6bb8-4ec0-b355-b444cb8c62c1">Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I need some advice. My family doesn't drink, but FI's do. Should we have a cash bar for them? Or should my fiance and I have a hosted bar?
    Posted by snoopycac[/QUOTE]

    If you can afford to (and want to) host alcohol, do so.

    The key is to not have your guests open their wallets at your reception.

    Dry weddings are perfectly fine. Hosting beer & wine only is perfectly fine. Hosting a full bar is perfectly fine.

    Nothing should be available "for purchase".
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    ... does anyone ever read other posts prior to posting the same thing that's been posted probably ten times this week?

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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:1fba3688-fef3-4b8b-b189-0b19ebcf7a10">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]... does anyone ever read other posts prior to posting the same thing that's been posted probably ten times this week?
    Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

    I know it. Uggh.

    Thankfully, my job teaches me extreme tolerance of people who are incapable of using Google and/or doing their own research.
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:7b2ef0bf-6bb8-4ec0-b355-b444cb8c62c1">Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I need some advice. My family doesn't drink, but FI's do. Should we have a cash bar for them? Or should my fiance and I have a hosted bar?
    Posted by snoopycac[/QUOTE]

    <div>Would you charge your FIs family for wine if they came over for dinner one night?</div>
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I agree with everyone else. No cash bar. You haven't mentioned you or your fiance's preferences. If the two of you enjoy alcohol and want to serve it, then do so. If you don't, then don't, but you can't charge your guests for anything.
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  • mrsrhawkinsmrsrhawkins member
    First Comment
    Beer & wine! 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:5b918675-dd85-4566-9412-50c9ac40d3fd">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar : Would you charge your FIs family for wine if they came over for dinner one night?
    Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]


    This.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • snoopycacsnoopycac member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:754f8ac2-54a9-4754-a1ff-7877bf00849b">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with everyone else. No cash bar. You haven't mentioned you or your fiance's preferences. If the two of you enjoy alcohol and want to serve it, then do so. If you don't, then don't, but you can't charge your guests for anything.
    Posted by Blue_Bird[/QUOTE]

    Neither of us drink at all.
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Your guests should not have to pay for anything at the reception.  If alcohol is availablel, you host it.  

    If you don't have that many drinkers (I don't know how big your family is versus your FI's family), you might see if you can have a consumption bar.  That way you pay per drink, rather than a set amount per person, which would be a waste if a big group of guests were not going to drink at all.
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  • nda8414nda8414 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:374298b6-5b1f-461b-9f10-3b8775787559">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar : I know it. Uggh. Thankfully, my job teaches me extreme tolerance of people who are incapable of using Google and/or doing their own research.
    Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]



    If you're really that bothered, not answering is a lot more polite than complaining about this poor girl who is asking for advice.
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  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:3deea96c-2294-46d4-93e5-a6e818d822b8">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar : If you're really that bothered, not answering is a lot more polite than complaining about this <strong>poor girl</strong> who is asking for advice.
    Posted by nda8414[/QUOTE]

    Poor girl?  Way to make assumptions ::thumbs up::

    Ms is right, this question gets asked all. the. time.  OP, lurk a little.
    image


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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to Re:Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar:In Response to Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar : I know it. Uggh. Thankfully, my job teaches me extreme tolerance of people who are incapable of using Google and/or doing their own research.Posted by itzMS

    If you're really that bothered, not answering is a lot more polite than complaining about this poor girl who is asking for advice. Posted by nda8414[/QUOTE]

    But...I DID answer the OPs question and help her in my first post.
    If you'd note, I was replying to ahstillwell.
    Unbunch your panties...aaaaannnnd go.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you want to serve alcohol, you pay for it.  If you don't want to (or can't) pay for it, have a dry wedding.

    You don't ask your guests to pay for anything at your wedding.  Cash bars, cash meals, cash anything is inappropriate at your wedding.  
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:7bd91320-6a4d-4ba3-8cde-93bb518e7dd2">Re:Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar: But...I DID answer the OPs question and help her in my first post. If you'd note, I was replying to ahstillwell. Unbunch your panties...aaaaannnnd go.
    Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I wish there was a "like" button on TK.  :D

    </div>
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:842e1d19-692a-4be0-991f-a321d4aad2b1">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you want to serve alcohol, you pay for it.  If you don't want to (or can't) pay for it, have a dry wedding. You don't ask your guests to pay for anything at your wedding.  Cash bars, cash meals, cash anything is inappropriate at your wedding.  
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    Cosigned Jen4948.
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  • mrsbobfilsonmrsbobfilson member
    First Comment
    I have talked to my closest friends who are invited to my reception about this issue.Thay all said they would rather pay for their own drinks then to go to a dry reception.
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:bbebc908-eaeb-4baa-b09a-be8a4667457b">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know that this is going to be an unpopular response, but the thought that has been in the back of my mind each time I have read a thread on this subject is<strong> I would hate to find out that a good friend of mine didn't invite me to her wedding because she could only afford to host the bar for a certain number of people.</strong> In my opinion I would rather pay for my own alcohol than be left out completely. I have seen several posts in these threads saying you need to cut your guest list to be a proper host. Which from an etiquette standpoint I honestly understand, but I would just hate to find out that I was left out of the celebration because the couple had to cut thier guest list for that reason.
    Posted by Ctexasgurl26[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>If that happened, shame on that friend for finding it more important to have an open bar over inviting you!  She should have hosted just beer and wine or even just had a dry wedding.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Open bar is not a requirement for a wedding and is a poor excuse for cutting a guest list of those that mean the most to you.  

    </div>
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:06ae9cca-ab32-4a4e-b713-56402a98d9a5">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have talked to my closest friends who are invited to my reception about this issue.Thay all said they would rather pay for their own drinks then to go to a dry reception.
    Posted by mrsbobfilson[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>You host a reception as a thank you to your guests.  When you host a dinner at your house, do you charge people for wine?  </div><div>
    </div><div>If you can't afford to host an open bar, you shouldn't have one.  Asking people to open their wallets, no matter what your friends tell you, is not appropriate.  

    </div>
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  • talee1989talee1989 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I don't know that I've ever been to a wedding where we didn't have to pay for our own mixed drinks and only the keg was hosted and i've been to some pretty nice weddings.. Must be only be approriate in the sticks where I'm from??
    559809_10152275403875517_1123710195_n
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:6f3da5df-962a-42e7-91fd-858509b516c7">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know that I've ever been to a wedding where we didn't have to pay for our own mixed drinks and only the keg was hosted and i've been to some pretty nice weddings.. <strong>Must be only be approriate in the sticks where I'm from??</strong>
    Posted by talee1989[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>No, it's never appropriate, no matther how common it may be among your circle.  Do your friends charge you for wine when you go to their house for dinner?  No.  Well, a wedding reception is the same thing.....you are hosting people for an event.  You don't charge them or let them pay for drinks.

    </div>
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:7b2ef0bf-6bb8-4ec0-b355-b444cb8c62c1">Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I need some advice. My family doesn't drink, but FI's do. Should we have a cash bar for them? Or should my fiance and I have a hosted bar?
    Posted by snoopycac[/QUOTE]

    Either have a fully hosted bar (can have limited offerings) or a dry wedding.  Under no circumstances should guests be charged for any drinks.
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  • msmollyqtmsmollyqt
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:7b2ef0bf-6bb8-4ec0-b355-b444cb8c62c1">Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]I need some advice. My family doesn't drink, but FI's do. Should we have a cash bar for them? Or should my fiance and I have a hosted bar?
    Posted by snoopycac[/QUOTE]

    Do what you can afford. Your hosting your own wedding with free food, dessert, drinks, favors and everything else. Guests should be coming to a wedding to celebrate you and your fiance not your wallet or free alcohol.

    We are doing signature drinks for cocktail hour, two bottles of wine per table and a keg of beer. Anything else is cash bar. If they cant live without hard liquor or complain then one they have a problem and two they shouldn't even be at your wedding.

    Honestly I think its courtesy to even offer the choice if they truely want it.

    BTW at my home dinners I DONT OFFER HARD LIQUOR THEY HAVE TO BRING IT THEMSELVES.

    Also, I see this more of a party then a home dinner.. I'm pretty sure at my birthday parties I don't buy everyone drinks! Its my damn birthday!

    So that being said dont break the bank because you want to impress. As long as all non-alcoholic drinks are free. I don't see an issue.

    Its your day and those who love you will be their to support you and have fun regardless of what you do.

    Btw, if someone wants to post something they can. Stop being rude BRIDEZILLAS!
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited April 2013
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hosted-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8aef96a2-d0c0-4800-97f6-521ced9b7f40Post:f2130d9b-389d-4584-b04e-13bc07d6a9c1">Re: Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Hosted Bar vs Cash Bar : Do what you can afford. Your hosting your own wedding with free food, dessert, drinks, favors and everything else. Guests should be coming to a wedding to celebrate you and your fiance not your wallet or free alcohol. We are doing signature drinks for cocktail hour, two bottles of wine per table and a keg of beer. Anything else is cash bar. <strong>If they cant live without hard liquor or complain then one they have a problem and two they shouldn't even be at your wedding</strong>. Honestly I think its courtesy to even offer the choice if they truely want it. BTW at my home dinners I DONT OFFER HARD LIQUOR THEY HAVE TO BRING IT THEMSELVES. Also, I see this more of a party then a home dinner.. I'm pretty sure at my birthday parties I don't buy everyone drinks! Its my damn birthday! So that being said dont break the bank because you want to impress. As long as all non-alcoholic drinks are free. I don't see an issue. Its your day and those who love you will be their to support you and have fun regardless of what you do. Btw, if someone wants to post something they can. Stop being rude BRIDEZILLAS!
    Posted by msmollyqt[/QUOTE]

    Again, someone needs to unbunch her panties. Wow.

    Just because you don't like drinking liquor, doesn't mean you can impose your rudeness and judgement upon your guests. There should NEVER be anything guests have to pay cash for. If you can't afford to host it (or have moral issue with drinking liquor) do not offer anything that guests have to pay for.

    Being rude and stingy to your guests is never acceptable.</div>
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