Attendance

blondiek1

What is the percentage of people invited to the wedding that will actually rsvp yes? We are having our wedding on December 21, but almost everyone lives within 3 hours of the wedding. Our guest list has gotten larger than I'd prefer and I am trying to keep the peace with my future mother in law but we have a budget too. Thanks!

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_attendance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:e1fc118c-472f-4cf9-9df9-73d1ec7e50cdPost:03b14bfd-afa7-400f-b563-99ee9b19bbcb">Attendance</a>:
[QUOTE]What is the percentage of people invited to the wedding that will actually rsvp yes? We are having our wedding on December 21, but almost everyone lives within 3 hours of the wedding. Our guest list has gotten larger than I'd prefer and I am trying to keep the peace with my future mother in law but we have a budget too. Thanks!
Posted by blondiek1[/QUOTE]
Anything up to and including 100%.  Always expect 100% attendance and plan accordingly.

zitiqueen

If you're paying for the wedding yourselves, you have control over the guest list.

kmmssg

My daughter who got married in the dead of Michigan Winter had 96% attendance at her wedding.  It was cold and snowy.

My daughter who got married in late May of '09 had aboug 65ish% attendance.  It was so gorgeous, warm, and it was not the holiday weekend.

There is just no way of truly knowing.  We have a bride here, kindasparkly.  If I am remembering correctly, her MIL promised her people wouldn't come but must be invited.  Well a very elderly relative from many states away decided to attend as it might be her last time seeing the extended family.  Others attendended to see her.  Sparkly - fix the details on that if I screwed them up please?

Anyhoo - you just never know.  Sometimes people see a great chance to get together with relatives they haven't seen for awhile and decide to come when you think they won't.

In our family my FIL has 7 kids, each married with kids, and we have grandkids too.  We do our best to get him together with all his kids at least once a year for a family day.  If everyone is invited to a family wedding, we will usually do our best to attend just to get all the kids together for Dad.  He gets around and is still pretty healthy, but he is slowing down and will be 82 in December.

mlg78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_attendance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:e1fc118c-472f-4cf9-9df9-73d1ec7e50cdPost:914e8028-2653-434c-be63-52c1cd9cee57">Re:Attendance</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Attendance: Honestly, this was one piece of standard Knot advice I would have ignored. Only you know your guests and how likely they are to travel to your wedding. We invited 250, adults only. One third local, one third out of state, and one third within a similar three hour drive. We had about 150 RSVP yes, and about 140 actually attend. My H was certain that many wouldn't come, and he was right. He knew his friends and family, and I should have listened to him, instead of the advice on here, and agreed to over invite by just a little. Not everyone should do this of course, but for us, over inviting 10 to 20 additional guests would have been fine.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

I agree with your advice completely.  You should be prepared to handle all 100%, but realistically, only you know your own invite list.  I'm having an issue where my church can only hold 224...but my guest list currently stands at 228. The issue is NOT the reception or how many we're paying for which is usually the issue with most brides. There is a small handful I'd like to still invite but I'm hesitant because all they preach on here is "100%". I sat down with my mom yesterday and added a column to my wedding spreadsheet and noted who she is really quite positive won't attend or those that will only attend the reception and she feels strongly that 27 of those won't attend at all which frees up a good amount of space. If they end up RSVPing yes, it's not the end of the world -- we'll get folding chairs for the back of the church. 

Bottom line: you know your guests better than anyone here does. I think most wedding websites do say to expect 10-15% to not show.

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_attendance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:e1fc118c-472f-4cf9-9df9-73d1ec7e50cdPost:03b14bfd-afa7-400f-b563-99ee9b19bbcb">Attendance</a>:
[QUOTE]What is the percentage of people invited to the wedding that will actually rsvp yes? We are having our wedding on December 21, but almost everyone lives within 3 hours of the wedding. Our guest list has gotten larger than I'd prefer and I am trying to keep the peace with my future mother in law but we have a budget too. Thanks!
Posted by blondiek1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>There is no magic formula.  It's silly to think there is, because every wedding guest list/place/date/time is different.   Plan for 100% attendance.

</div>

lyndausvi

We had 83% RSVP percent.  That was with 100% of the guests being out of town and no kids invited and a hurricane.

Personally, I think you are okay if you are a few people (say 2-6 people).  I think the 100% show is more of an exception.    I would not invite more than that because you just do not know.     *** note I would not do that if I was only inviting a few people.

I had a cousin who NEVER attends local weddings.  Never.  She showed up at my OOT wedding.   I had another cousin is rarely attends OOT weddings, yet attended mine.  I had all 4 of them (with SOs) on the people I think might say "no" list.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_attendance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:e1fc118c-472f-4cf9-9df9-73d1ec7e50cdPost:914e8028-2653-434c-be63-52c1cd9cee57">Re:Attendance</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Attendance: Honestly, this was one piece of standard Knot advice I would have ignored. Only you know your guests and how likely they are to travel to your wedding. We invited 250, adults only. One third local, one third out of state, and one third within a similar three hour drive. We had about 150 RSVP yes, and about 140 actually attend. My H was certain that many wouldn't come, and he was right. He knew his friends and family, and I should have listened to him, instead of the advice on here, and agreed to over invite by just a little. Not everyone should do this of course, but for us, over inviting 10 to 20 additional guests would have been fine.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]
This only works if you a) can afford to host all of them if they all came, and b) if they all came they would still fit in the venue.  Which is, in effect, planning on 100% attendance.

[Deleted User]

We are planning for a 100% but I have a pretty good idea on how many I think will actually come!

Ella and Pedro

There are several issues:

The Fire Department etc. puts limits on capacity of houses of worship, hotel ballrooms, etc.  Unless the wedding is at a private residence, you would not legally be permittted to exceed 'maximum capacity' of the venue.  Their property, their rooms. Some brides & grooms have been able to overcome maximum capacity by creative space usage, such as renting a tent to put a dance floor outside - not ideal.  Some have been charged a fee for over-booking, some have had to turn guests away once the maximum was reached. 

You aren't just having to buy more food, as you know.  Adding more people means more flowers, more ceremony chair rentals, more programs, more invitations, more postage, more favors, more champagne, more cake, more staff, more parking spaces (if you have to pay for them, which in our case, we do) more more more...$$$.  If your MIL or whoever wants to have more people, you should figure out the REAL total per person, and present this to her. If she really has this REAL total per person, maybe you could add the extra guests...assuming issue #1 of maximum capacity is not a concern.

You change the nature of the event when you make it a huge wedding vs. medium sized vs. intimate/small.