Help! I need some opinions / insight from women (my friends are all men, and so far I've just discussed this with my Brother-in-Law who is typically a great help.)
My boyfriend, now fiance, proposed to me in January (2013), a year to the day of our 1 yr. together anniversary. (We dated for a year 9 years ago as well, but that's another story.) After dating again after the long break, I moved in with him in May, so we dated for essentially 4 months. I rented out my condo and in 2 weeks it will have been 1 year since we have been living together. So... together for going on 16 months; cohabitating for going on 1 yr.
Anywho... I accepted his unexpected proposal (he was in tears and on bended knee... I thought he was ill at first, until he started talking). He didn't have an engagement ring to give me at the time, as he is very tight on money due to his job, paycuts, etc. I understood this, but then as time went on, I really wanted SOMETHING, no matter how small. I mentioned / hinted a few times and he would just get irritated, borderline angry, so I dropped it.
About 3 weeks ago, he mentioned going to the jewlery store to get an engagement ring, as he got his tax refund. I was shocked! We even went a long distance, in a blizzard! I got a petite ring that fits my petite fingers, and I LOVE it. I began feeling more optimistic, but now I'm not so sure again.
Is it perfectly reasonable for me to be asking about when we are going to talk about setting a date????? I don't think this is a lot to ask, especially as it takes no money, and shouldn't be a big, negative deal. I have friends from out-of-state, no matter how small of a wedding we are having, that will need plenty of advance notice, and he doesn't get that. Even my Mom said she needs to know for the caterer! Still, nothing. Whenver I even mention anything to do with the wedding, something I'd like, and idea, or setting a date, he gets angry... tells me that he said he wanted to take it slow... and changes the subject. Then, I get upset and withdraw. I am now not mentioning ANYTHING about a wedding, being engaged, how much I love my ring, if I get compliments, etc.
Please let me know what any of you make of this??? I really need to know what may be going on with him so I can decide how to proceed.
Thank you!
"Sad and Confused in Colorado"