instructions on what to buy with a gift card?

SB1512

FI and I received a card from one of FMIL's friends who was invited to my shower but can not attend.  In the card was a gift card for Macy's (we are registered there) and instructions on which gift from our registry we are to purchase with this gift card.  Is it me, or is that a little weird?  As far as I know it's not like you can pick up a macy's gift card just anywhere (like I know walmart has giftcard to a ton of stores for example) so either this person had to visit a macy's, or order it online.  Why not just buy us the actual gift?  I could understand receiving cash with a note saying "I want you to use the cash for XYZ" because sometimes people forget to buy a gift until last minute, or just don't have time to get to the store, but dictating how to use a gift card just seemed strange to me.

So, do we use this gift card to buy what the giver wants us to get with it, or should we spend it how we please.  Complicating the issue a little is that the gift this person wants us to buy isn't something high on our priority list, and it wouldn't be our first purchase choice off our registry.

SlothGoals

I don't see why you wouldn't buy what they wanted you to off the registry. If it's on your registry then you obviously wanted it. I agree that it's a bit strange but I've received gifts of cash or gift cards like that before where the giver specified what it was to be spent on (usually something I had said I wanted).

It's possible that they weren't able to get to Macy's themselves and had someone else pick up the GC for them instead of sending them hunting for a specific item.

RamonaFlowers

You can buy gift cards to Macy's at any major pharmacy chain (Rite Aid, Walgreens, CVS), and I've seen them at Stop 'n Shop before. So no, you don't have to actually go to Macy's or their website to get a Macy's gift card.

wittykitty14

I'd wait until after the wedding and see what's left on your registry.  You'll probably get more gift cards, so you can pool them together for a big item.  You shouldn't be purchasing anything with the gift card until after the wedding anyway.

Also, I've bought Macy's gift cards from the grocery store before.  It's not weird.  What's weird is that they requested you buy a specific gift with it.  I wouldn't worry about it though.  Use it for whatever you want!

artbyallie

It's also possible they saw an item they wanted to buy you on the registry but then couldn't find it in their store.

HalieG

I don't think it is weird at all. You can buy Macy's gift cards at CVS (and I'm sure other places like CVS sell them, too). My FI's grandmother actually did close to the same thing. She sent a check to my mother with a nice note saying that she wanted to get us a nice gift and could my mother please use the check to do so since she was not well enough to venture out to the mall and doesn't know how online shopping works.

She ended up getting us a place setting of our fine china, which FI and I were thrilled about! I thought it was such a sweet gesture. Even though she wasn't able to get to the store, she wanted to make sure we had a gift that was special and that we would remember was from her instead of just giving us cash.

Since the item was on your registry, the woman clearly thought it was something you wanted. She may have any number of reasons for getting you a gift card whether it's that she wasn't able to get to the store or something else. She also took the time to look through your registry rather than just mail a gift. This suggests to me that she put time into  thinking what gift she would want to give you. I would purchase that gift.

If the woman ever comes over to your home and you don't have that item, she may be hurt that you didn't purchase it. Also, since this gift was for your shower, if she goes to do something similar for your wedding and sees that the item is still available on your registry, she may be very hurt.

If you really don't want the gift (you shouldn't have put it on your registry if this was the case), I would still say to purchase it with the gift card and just save your receipt and return or exchange it after the wedding. That way it comes off your registry, you won't get another one of something you don't want, and you will avoid hurting this woman's feelings by having her see when she goes to purchase a wedding gift that you didn't get whatever item it was that she specified the gift card was for.

AJuliaNJ

That's really weird. I'd probably buy the requested gift because I like to be specific in my thank you cards and I wouldn't want to lie. Plus, what if she just bought it for you? You would have still received the low priority gift. It would also be totally ok to send her a thank her for the card and say something like I look forward to the trip to Macy's or something else vague. I would also take into account the likelihood of her finding out you don't have the gift. One of our guests bought us something because she has one and loooves it. If that's the case with your guest she might notice you don't have it or might ask about it.

Kate61487

My first thought was that she was avoiding shipping charges, but PPs made a good point too that she may have bought the gc elsewhere and not had a macy's close by or the item she wanted to buy may not have been in stock in her store. 

If you had received the actual physical gift and when all was said and done there were things left on your registry that you wanted more would you have returned physical gifts you got in order to purchase the other items?  If not I think you should use the gc as she intended. 

SB1512

Thank you for all the responses.  I never said I did not want the gift in question, but, as of now, it has the potential to be low priority, and I think there is the difference between not wanting something, and not being overly upset if it never gets bought.  Also I saw some of these before heading out to the grocery store and made it a point to look for a macy's gift card.  Our stop and shop does not carry them, but, we have a macy's 1 town over so maybe that's why.  I think overall across the state we have 8 macy's, but maybe in other towns the gift cards are carried in non-macy's stores.

 Basically, the gift card will cover the cost of 1 silverware place setting.  We have registered for 10 or 12 total (don't remember which) and as of now, none have been purchased.  If at least half get purchased between now and the wedding, awesome, and the gift card would definitely go towards buying a setting.  However, if none continued to be purchased between now and the weding, that gift card will buy us 1 setting, and FI and I do not plan to buy the remaining settings out of our own money so it becomes useless to us. 

I'm going to check with macy's and see what the policy is if we use the gift card now to buy the setting (in case the gift card giver checks our registry) but then no others get bought if we are able to return it.  If yes, then I'll buy it now and we'll see what happens with the remaining sets.  If we were to buy it now and then not be able to return we will wait until after the wedding to see if any other settings get bought between now and then.

katiereith

In Response to Re:instructions on what to buy with a gift card?:
[QUOTE]Don't lie to your family and friends, I would buy what they asked you to get. If it's not something you wanted, you shouldn't have registered for it.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

This. Lots and lots of this. I honestly don't see what the fuss is. I've gotten plenty of monetary gifts with instructions on where/how to spend it. If it is something off of your registry -in theory it is something you want anyway.

Kate61487

knowing that it's part of a set makes this make WAY more sense (I was thinking this was like... a quesadilla maker; that you thought would be fun but don't want that badly; KWIM?)  I can't imagine Macy's wouldn't let you return it - Just get a gift receipt (they don't have to know it's actually for you) and then you can return it for store credit later (which is what you'd get anyway since it's a GC purchase). 

blueikaos

If the item they requested you use the gift card on was on your registry, then clearly you wanted that item.

Use it for that- maybe they coudln't get to the store to get that specific item but wanted to gift it to you anyway.

FutureMrsAdams2013

I really dont understand what the big deal is? Are you not a grown woman who can make her own common sense decisions, with out coming on here?

AJuliaNJ

I would still purchase it even though it's part of the set. You would be in exactly the same situation if she brought the gift to your shower. 

Also, it might prompt other guests to purchase more of the set. As a guest, I would be more likely to purchase items from a set if other people purchased other items. If I saw a "0 purchased" for everything in a set, I might hesitate to buy it.

I'd prefer to buy it now and then return it after the shower if I really received no other items from the set. Then, if she ever asks, you can explain that you didn't get enough of the set and returned it for an item you can use now (or say you are still working on it, which may be true if you intend to purchase the items at a later date).

AJuliaNJ

In Response to Re:instructions on what to buy with a gift card?:
[QUOTE]I really dont understand what the big deal is? Are you not a grown woman who can make her own common sense decisions, with out coming on here?
Posted by FutureMrsAdams2013[/QUOTE]

Huh? But wouldn't this board just cease to exist then? You could really just think critically about or read an etiquette book or site about any question posted on this board, but the value the board brings is that you can get real people's takes on the situation and connect with other brides. It is interesting and helpful to know how others apply and interpret the rules of wedding etiquette. Sometimes you just need a deciding vote to help you make a decision because there are several "right" answers. 

SB1512

In Response to Re: instructions on what to buy with a gift card?:
[QUOTE]I would still purchase it even though it's part of the set. You would be in exactly the same situation if she brought the gift to your shower.  Also, it might prompt other guests to purchase more of the set. As a guest, I would be more likely to purchase items from a set if other people purchased other items. If I saw a "0 purchased" for everything in a set, I might hesitate to buy it. I'd prefer to buy it now and then return it after the shower if I really received no other items from the set. Then, if she ever asks, you can explain that you didn't get enough of the set and returned it for an item you can use now (or say you are still working on it, which may be true if you intend to purchase the items at a later date).
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

Thank you, I do like this idea.  And I realize if she had brought the physical gift to the shower I would be in the same position.  I will actually be in that same position at my shower because someone bought 1 place setting of our everyday china, but no others have been bought yet, so that's another thing we'll be waiting on to see if more get purchased and if not, the one setting is getting returned.

TheBaysideBride

Buy whatever you want, I woudl guess they said that because gift cards can seem impersonal. Hopefully that's why!