Pre-wedding Parties

Need some advice!

Greetings!  I'm the MOH for my dear friend's wedding coming up and I'm in a bit of a pickle.

Her future in-laws are planning a "bridal luncheon" next weekend and I'm planning to go, of course, but I am having a really hard time distinguishing this between a "bridal shower" if there even is a difference.

I asked the bride and she was pretty non-commital about it.  She said if I wanted to plan a bridal shower I'd need to talk to her mom.  But my partner told me that it's tacky to plan a bridal shower after the future in-laws are throwing a bridal luncheon.

But it's really, really unclear as to whether or not this luncheon is a formal shower!  There was no gift registry in the invitation, and I admit I'm a little peeved because I have been dreaming of this wedding for years (we've known each other since elementary school) and I feel like they kind of stole my thunder.  Petty, I know, but I had elaborate plans for a bridal shower and now I feel like they won't come to fruition.

More than being disappointed in not being able to throw my dream bridal shower, I'm worried that 1) if I throw a bridal shower it will reflect poorly on my friend (some suggest I'd risk making her look greedy) or 2) if I DON'T throw a bridal shower she won't get the same goodies she should expect for planning a wedding.

Anyone have some advice for me?  My plan right now is just to attend the luncheon and assess how elaborate it is.  I can always plan my own intimate bridal shower for my friend and make it a "friend" party rather than inviting a bunch of her family from out of town.

Re: Need some advice!

  • The wedding is in 2 months.  I need to get on this ASAP!  I've just had a lot of other things on my mind so this kind of fell to the wayside and then I got that invitation in March so I was confused.  When should I hold the shower then??  The luncheon is in a week, the wedding is in 2 months... can I do it in June?  Is that too late?
  • June would be fine, but I would with the bride's mom. She may have told you that because her mom is already planning one, or would like to help.
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