When people bring out your bridezilla... (a bit longish)

beautifulmama28

So this post is a bit of a vent lol and I apologize in advance as I am not normally a negative ninny, but I def need to vent about a few things.

First is my FI guys. There are three of them...and as of yesterday only one had supposedly gotten his tux fitting done. My FI isn't really the emo type, but he was highly upset last night, even went so far as to tell me he was going to text them all and say "hey just wanted to let you all know forget it I'll stand up there alone" *sigh*

This was compunded by men's warehouse having LOST his best mans (the only one that had done it a few weeks ago) info and they were claiming he had not come in (he says he has a reciept so that in and of itself is ridiculous). Today was the last day they could get them done without risking the late fee for rush orders. They were supposed to all go today, we shall see......my guy was pretty upset. 

Then there is the deal with my fam. I have had mixed reactions from various members of my family...all believe in life long marriage to one partner (some believe this even though they themselves have been through divorce).  Well, one of my siblings and his other half have made the fact that they do not approve of the fact that we are having an actual wedding. The other half in particular has expressed distaste, not to my face of course so it is somewhat hear say, however it was said to my mother.  Initially when this was first said my mother let her thoughts be known (that they needed to get over themselves and come to the wedding)....but over the last few months as this little drama has played out, it has alas come down to them making up some random excuse not to come.  I know my brother has some health issues , and I know that travel can be tough, but I guess it just goes to show me how unimportant this day really is to many people in our lives because its not *the first* one.

Above all...I am hurt.  My brother has asked if I would webcam the ceremony so he can see it, and I told him to ask my dad but right now I'm pretty upset that hes not coming (and I feel like its for reasons other than what I was told) so I feel like why should I? lol

(enter bridezilla)

Proving yet once again that I really wish we would have just taken this show on the road and went to Vegas.  

right1thistime

The guys will incur & have to pay the late fee.  Let it go.  People procrastinate, and it is no reflection on you or your FI.

If your brother is willing to forgo being at your wedding because of his wife's beliefs, he has made his choice.   Tell him (once) that you will miss having him there.  Then let that go as well.  Don't jump through hoops to webcam the event, unless you believe that he truly cannot travel. 

Don't let the little things pull you down.  You have the choice to celebrate & be happy.  Make that choice.  ~Donna

Sue-n-Kevin

So much wisdom from Donna in so few words. Ditto Donna

beautifulmama28

yes,...everything you say is true, I just seriously needed to vent.

I did tell him he would be missed, it just sucks, all three of my brothers live in other states, it isn't very often we get a chance to all be together if nothing else. But I will get over it lol

THanks Donna!!  

right1thistime

I certainly don't want to minimize your disappointment.  I just wanted to emphasize for you that you can only control how you react- and this being a joyful occasion, I want you to choose to be joyful.  ~Donna

LAM524

RetreadBride said:

I am so sorry about this negativity, and the insults.

Your mother and other relatives were wrong to repeat anything negative to you. 

The others were rude to express this to you at all.

Don't webcam the ceremony for anyone.  If they cared, they'd show up.

I like everything Retread said! Id like to piggyback it. Unless he truly is sick, why allow him to ease his guilt because he "watched" you marry!

I know it really hurts. I experienced a whole lot of family drama. Mom not emotionally available because it isnt about her; who isnt coming because of so & so; who is only going to eat and then retire to their room so as to avoid so & so; who will only attend ceremony so she doesnt have to bother with anyone (mom); you better not invite so & so!  blah blah blah! Honestly, the 4 months following our engagement I was bombarded by family members. I literally got an ulcer. I thought I should just cancel the wedding. I cried a lot. When I wasnt crying, I was angry thinking "why cant they all grow up just one day, FOR ME?" It all hurt deep!

Then one night, both me & FI were on our laptops searching for wedding music. At one point FI had  Kenny G's "The Wedding Song" (we had previously decided I would walk to it) playing. I eventually turned to look at him, his eyes were closed and he had tears streaming down his face. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me "Nothing at all! Im just envisioning you walking the aisle to me."  WOW! In that very moment, I realized the truth. (has I began to cry my eyes out) Its about us! Just me and him. Do I care about my extended family? Of course. Will I give them any more power to steal my joy?  Heck no! I havent talked on phone to my mother in a month, its easier to control things via text. I also changed 2 names in my cell phone to "No Answer" and screen their messages. (it works for me, for now)

I dont doubt that you, me and other brides familes/friends wont throw drama our way but thats not within our control.  We can choose not to be a part of the dysfunction and letting them upset us is a part of the dysfunction. We need to remember what the truth is. Even if we have to close our eyes and envision... (: We deserve it!

Jen4948

I'd tell your brother, "I don't understand why you want me to webcam for you a ceremony you've made it clear you aren't attending because you disapprove of."