dietary restrictions unclear?

emeejeeayen

Our wedding dinner will be served family style. Each person will get a plated individual salad, but the two entrees (one vegetarian, one meat) will be served family style with enough for each person to have a serving of both. 

For this reason, I have: "Please indicate any dietary restrictions: _______________________" on the back of the RSVP card. 

My family is vegan, and FI is allergic to nuts/shellfish, so we're very aware that many of our other guests may have similar restrictions. We're seriously willing to find a way to accomodate any restriction including kosher, allergies, etc. 

I showed my mom the RSVP card (she is one of the vegans), and she says it's "unclear." She says she would feel "pressured" to leave it blank. 

Please tell me she is being a weirdo with this, and I have nothing to stress about. These bad boys are already printed. 

MrsGandthebeag

I think that's very straightforward.  I'm not sure why anyone would be confused.

misshart00

I think it's fine. What would the wording be that wouldn't make her feel "pressured to leave it blank"?

AprilH81

In Response to dietary restrictions unclear?:
[QUOTE]Our wedding dinner will be served family style. Each person will get a plated individual salad, but the two entrees (one vegetarian, one meat) will be served family style with enough for each person to have a serving of both.  For this reason, I have: "Please indicate any dietary restrictions: _______________________" on the back of the RSVP card.  My family is vegan, and FI is allergic to nuts/shellfish, so we're very aware that many of our other guests may have similar restrictions. We're seriously willing to find a way to accomodate any restriction including kosher, allergies, etc.  I showed my mom the RSVP card (she is one of the vegans), and she says it's "unclear." She says she would feel "pressured" to leave it blank.  Please tell me she is being a weirdo with this, and I have nothing to stress about. These bad boys are already printed. 
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

How is that unclear?  If anyone had an allergy or food restriction they have the option of writing it in the blank.  I can't think of anything that would be more straight forward.

HisGirlFriday13

Yeah, this is clear and concise and anyone who thinks it's confusing or would feel pressured is BSC. Your mother is insane, you're fine, and that's a really nice way for you to make accomodations for your guests.

Also, I feel your pain -- we have a couple attending our wedding who are vegans, gluten-free, and local-vores. Basically not a damn thing on our wedding menu will meet their dietary restrictions. I'm still figuring out what we're going to feed them. 

Jen4948

Looks fine to me.  Your mother's off.

allispain

No idea how that could be seen as confusing - personally, I think that any guests who do have dietary restrictions will be thankful that you asked.

emeejeeayen

She thinks I should have listed EVERY option with like a place to check mark next to it and an "other" section. I swear to God. 

Thanks guys

Simply Fated

In Response to Re:dietary restrictions unclear?:[QUOTE]Yeah, this is clear and concise and anyone who thinks it's confusing or would feel pressured is BSC. Your mother is insane, you're fine, and that's a really nice way for you to make accomodations for your guests.Also, I feel your pain we have a couple attending our wedding who are vegans, glutenfree, and localvores. Basically not a damn thing on our wedding menu will meet their dietary restrictions. I'm still figuring out what we're going to feed them.nbsp; Posted by lemclane[/QUOTE] I need to be edumucated. What is a localvore? OP, I seems clear to me.

efmcc67

In Response to Re:dietary restrictions unclear?:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:dietary restrictions unclear?: I need to be edumucated. What is a localvore? OP, I seems clear to me.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

They only eat local food.

OP, you're fine. How the heck are you supposed to list every dietary restriction you can think of? 

Simply Fated

In Response to Re:dietary restrictions unclear?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:dietary restrictions unclear?:In Response to Re:dietary restrictions unclear?: I need to be edumucated. What is a localvore? OP, I seems clear to me.Posted by Simply FatedThey only eat local food.OP, you're fine. How the heck are you supposed to list every dietary restriction you can think of?nbsp; Posted by efmcc67[/QUOTE] That sounds like a great idea in theory but a pain in the ass when others are catering lol. I wish more people on LI ate more local produce. Question, do they eat locally in their own area only, even when they're in other areas or do the areas move with them?

Kate61487

I think that's totally fine; we did something similar and none of my guests seemed to have any issues.  My only thought was that having it on the back some guest might miss it...

Simply Fated

In Response to Re:dietary restrictions unclear?:[QUOTE]She thinks I should have listed EVERY option with like a place to check mark next to it and an "other" section. I swear to God.nbsp;Thanks guys Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE] That would be one hell of a long list, no? Maybe show her what a list would look like lol.

swimmy1988

You're fine.

I'm confused as to why your mother would be pressured to leave it blank? If it were another person's wedding who didn't know she was vegan, wouldn't she want that person to know so she could actually have something to eat at the wedding?

gottahavashorti

She's being weird.  Some people feel compelled to tell a host they're not picky and will eat anything when that's not true.  There's a difference between making do as a guest who wasn't asked about dietary restrictions and lying as a guest who was asked.  If I'm hosting someone, I would like to avoid serving them steak if they're vegetarian or mac n cheese and ice cream if they're extremely lactose intolerant but it's up to them to be honest when I ask if they want a shot at actually being able to eat.

Ella and Pedro

In Response to Re: dietary restrictions unclear?:
[QUOTE]She's being weird.  Some people feel compelled to tell a host they're not picky and will eat anything when that's not true.  There's a difference between making do as a guest who wasn't asked about dietary restrictions and lying as a guest who was asked.  If I'm hosting someone, I would like to avoid serving them steak if they're vegetarian or mac n cheese and ice cream if they're extremely lactose intolerant but it's up to them to be honest when I ask if they want a shot at actually being able to eat.
Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]

Agreed. 

About the loca-vore/vegan/gluten-free folks, I'd maybe ask the caterer and maybe also ask them. A friendly phone call... depending on your relationship with them.  Maybe also see if you can find a local foodie/food tolerance chatroom or blog or website and see what they suggest for 'local'  - Also, maybe see if there is a farmer's market/food co-op in the area who could advise you? 

If I was dealing with them here, I'd want to know how far away from the reception is considered 'local' and probably work out a meal plan with farmers on the outskirts of Baltimore.  Urban wedding, here.  Or, I suppose I could find a way to get to a Baltimore Farmer's Market and pass to the caterers mushrooms or whatever I found there?

I don't envy you that challenge.

Meanwhile, we have the following allergies or concerns to focus on, at our wedding:

grapes
nuts
fish
nutmeg
cinnamon
coconut
shellfish
clams, scallops, and similar
kosher and halal guests
lactose intolerant
no seeds no nuts - inc. raspberry seeds
citrus / low acid diet
low sodium diet
no red meat
no meat
gluten intolerance
eggs
chocolate

efmcc67

In Response to Re:dietary restrictions unclear?:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:dietary restrictions unclear?: That sounds like a great idea in theory but a pain in the ass when others are catering lol. I wish more people on LI ate more local produce. Question, do they eat locally in their own area only, even when they're in other areas or do the areas move with them?
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

I'm not really sure, but I'd assume it's whatever area they're in. Otherwise, you'd have to get food from your home shipped to wherever you are, and that seems like it would defeat the purpose.

nycrose2013

Locavore= BS. Don't even try to accommodate that silliness, it is not a legitimate restriction. If they seriously think you are going to ask your caterer where every carrot or bean or cow lived before it ended up at your wedding, they are out of their damned minds.

[Deleted User]

I put something similar on mine but put it on the front of the RSVP card. My concern is people might not flip over the card to see your message.

 

gottahavashorti

In Response to Re: dietary restrictions unclear?:
[QUOTE]Locavore= BS. Don't even try to accommodate that silliness, it is not a legitimate restriction. If they seriously think you are going to ask your caterer where every carrot or bean or cow lived before it ended up at your wedding, they are out of their damned minds.
Posted by nycrose2013[/QUOTE]

This.  Localvore doesn't seem like a dietary restriction, it's a preference and probably for environmental or ethical reasons.  It doesn't seem like a fair request to make of your hosts and most caterers probably won't be able to accomodate them - it's not just using a different recipe, it's spending a lot of time researching food sources and gathering that food.  If they refuse to eat anything but local food, they are probably used to eating at home before they go to an event.  Or serve them a plate of local veggies from the grocery store (which usually means from a couple hours away).

ridedatbike

I love this. Until I came to tk I never knee people actually took care of people like me at weddings! The only wedding I've ever been To that I didn't survive on rice was my own. I'm vegan BTW. I still get "o its just a little butter." Or "here just pick the chicken out." Or even "we have fish!" I think you're being extremely considerate op. I also think very clear.

rin89

While I personally agree with and understand the choice to shop/eat local, I also totally understand the frustration of having to accomodate that kind of restriction. If you have never shopped like that it can be overwhelming, especialy on top of everything else you're dealing with on the big day. And for a caterer it may not even be possible for them to find the right produce in time for the event. As with any dietary restriction I think at least some effort should be made to accomodate the guest, but sometimes it's just not going to work out.

OP- Your mom is being picky. Good luck with everything!