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Want Step Dad to Officiate Wedding - But CANNOT legally marry us

coreyseidcoreyseid member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Hello!

So the issue came about when we wanted to involve my step dad in the wedding and didn't really know how (won't be walking me down the aisle or have the father daughter dance). He comes from a religous background (which is important to fiance but not me), but is now just a very spiritual soul in many different ways. We are very confident in his ability to officiate our wedding, but the problem comes in where he is not judge, minister, or a resident of Florida and there is no way for him to legally marry us. 

I've heard we can just get legally married at the courthouse with the signed certificate, wtinesses, etc. and go on with the ceremony like we normally would. It would just mean that we wouldn't sign the marraige certificate at the end of the ceremony?

Thoughts? Advice? Is it realistic we can have him as the officiant? Are there things he can't say like, I now pronounce you man and wife?

blah...
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Re: Want Step Dad to Officiate Wedding - But CANNOT legally marry us

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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Don't go through the motions of him marrying you if you're already married. That's pointless. You can have an actual officiant marry you in front of everyone. Your stepfather can maybe do parts of it that he's allowed. They can, like, tag team it.
    image
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Did you try googling? I found this by googling State of Florida marriage requirements:

    Becoming a Notary – If you would like to be able to perform marriage ceremonies in the state of Florida, you can do so by becoming a notary public. We offer this service completely online – meaning you can fill out the forms needed and we will file your paperwork and send your official notary documents and package. Click here to register: http://www.floridanotaryservice.com/registration.aspx


    You should verify with your local town clerk that this information is valid.

                       
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    JennaMichelle88JennaMichelle88 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_want-step-dad-to-officiate-wedding-but-cannot-legally-marry-us?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:2c3b6cb3-31d1-4036-9596-6cb7c7890ed6Post:d2ac2c56-bab7-4604-a73a-751f87f7bd46">Re: Want Step Dad to Officiate Wedding - But CANNOT legally marry us</a>:
    [QUOTE]Did you try googling? I found this by googling State of Florida marriage requirements: Becoming a Notary – If you would like to be able to perform marriage ceremonies in the state of Florida, you can do so by becoming a notary public. We offer this service completely online – meaning you can fill out the forms needed and we will file your paperwork and send your official notary documents and package. Click here to register: <a href="http://www.floridanotaryservice.com/registration.aspx" rel="nofollow">http://www.floridanotaryservice.com/registration.aspx</a> You should verify with your local town clerk that this information is valid.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    If he isn't a resident of Florida he can't become a notary. OP, I know some people have co-officiants. One person does the legal parts (the pronouncement) and the other does the rest. I'd look into finding someone who is willing to co-officiate with your step dad.
    image
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    mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I like the idea of having a co-officiant.  There's really no other way around it as you cannot have a "do-over" when you're already married.
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Don't have a fake do-over. Have a co-officiant like other people have suggested, or have him do a spirital reading during the ceremony.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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    allykat08allykat08 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited March 2013
    http://www.theamm.org/perform-marriage/Florida

    From this website...

    Minister Licensing Requirements in Florida

    In Florida there is no government licensing required for a minister to perform marriage.

    The minister does not need to be a Florida resident, though he or she must be at least 18 years old.

    We recommend that the minister speak with the registrar at the office where the couple files for their marriage license. Most counties do not have additional requirements, however the minister may be asked to show their credentials before performing marriage.


    This website is where my brother went to become ordained to marry my FI and I... it looks like there is no reason why your step dad couldn't become ordained through this website and marry you in Florida...

    ETA: sorry for the super huge font... not sure how to change it :/
    Check out what I have left for sale...
    http://allisonandcorey.weebly.com/


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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_want-step-dad-to-officiate-wedding-but-cannot-legally-marry-us?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:2c3b6cb3-31d1-4036-9596-6cb7c7890ed6Post:a9d538bb-f220-45fa-a719-c247ab1d3a29">Re: Want Step Dad to Officiate Wedding - But CANNOT legally marry us</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Want Step Dad to Officiate Wedding - But CANNOT legally marry us : If he isn't a resident of Florida he can't become a notary. OP, I know some people have co-officiants. One person does the legal parts (the pronouncement) and the other does the rest. I'd look into finding someone who is willing to co-officiate with your step dad.
    Posted by JennaMichelle88[/QUOTE]

    Oops! I missed the part where he isn't a Florida resident.
                       
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    Knottie_22386760Knottie_22386760
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_want-step-dad-to-officiate-wedding-but-cannot-legally-marry-us?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:2c3b6cb3-31d1-4036-9596-6cb7c7890ed6Post:3d348ff9-dbc1-4b7a-a538-f860aa000d46">Want Step Dad to Officiate Wedding - But CANNOT legally marry us</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello! So the issue came about when we wanted to involve my step dad in the wedding and didn't really know how (won't be walking me down the aisle or have the father daughter dance). He comes from a religous background (which is important to fiance but not me), but is now just a very spiritual soul in many different ways. We are very confident in his ability to officiate our wedding, but the problem comes in where he is not judge, minister, or a resident of Florida and there is no way for him to legally marry us.  I've heard we can just get legally married at the courthouse with the signed certificate, wtinesses, etc. and go on with the ceremony like we normally would. It would just mean that we wouldn't sign the marraige certificate at the end of the ceremony? Thoughts? Advice? Is it realistic we can have him as the officiant? Are there things he can't say like, I now pronounce you man and wife? blah...
    Posted by coreyseid[/QUOTE]
     My daughter recently asked me to officiate their wedding in July of this year.It will be held in NC.I went online to American Fellowship Church and found that I believed in their creed.I was able to become ordained immediately and will therefore be able to fulfill my daughters wishes.
    Hope this helps Collette Michelle
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    coreyseidcoreyseid member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks everyone! This certainly helps me see a little more clear. 

    Since he doesn't belong to a church or currently practice anyone religion, I'm not sure if he could be ordained. I also don't think I want to ask that of him regardless. I'm thinking I'll just have to hire an officient and then work in a spiritual reading, speech, or whatever from my Step Dad. That still allows him to be part of it without the stress factor. I think co-officiating would even stress me out, haha! 

    I appeciate everyone's input. 

    Case Closed Tongue Out



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    coreyseidcoreyseid member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_want-step-dad-to-officiate-wedding-but-cannot-legally-marry-us?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:2c3b6cb3-31d1-4036-9596-6cb7c7890ed6Post:15d26eb6-9a19-421b-a32c-5d456f07bf83">Re: Want Step Dad to Officiate Wedding - But CANNOT legally marry us</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks everyone! This certainly helps me see a little more clear.  Since he doesn't belong to a church or currently practice anyone religion, I'm not sure if he could be ordained. I also don't think I want to ask that of him regardless. I'm thinking I'll just have to hire an officient and then work in a spiritual reading, speech, or whatever from my Step Dad. That still allows him to be part of it without the stress factor. I think co-officiating would even stress me out, haha!  I appeciate everyone's input.  Case Closed 
    Posted by coreyseid[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>What's really funny, is that my step dad just called me and said he is now officially an ordained minister!!!!!!! SO HAPPY!</div>
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    noahark1noahark1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_want-step-dad-to-officiate-wedding-but-cannot-legally-marry-us?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:2c3b6cb3-31d1-4036-9596-6cb7c7890ed6Post:24b46023-2333-4bad-8110-2b80b1371bc6">Re: Want Step Dad to Officiate Wedding - But CANNOT legally marry us</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Want Step Dad to Officiate Wedding - But CANNOT legally marry us :  My daughter recently asked me to officiate their wedding in July of this year.It will be held in NC.I went online to American Fellowship Church and found that I believed in their creed.I was able to become ordained immediately and will therefore be able to fulfill my daughters wishes. Hope this helps Collette Michelle
    Posted by ColletteMichelle[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Not to be a raincloud, but I would double-check with a family lawyer or clerk of the court before assuming your understanding is correct.  I am not a lawyer, but in my family law class we've examined several court cases throughout the country that show on-line ordination may or may not be accepted as ordained minister in the eyes of a state when it comes to marriage.  In many instances the legal definition requires a congregation which on-line does not meet.  I've attached just one article that shows the confusion and references NC specifically.  Not saying it can't be done, but I think the risks are too high to just assume.</div><div>
    </div><div> n<a href="http://verdict.justia.com/2011/11/21/can-laypersons-ordained-online-as-universal-life-church-ministers-or-the-like-officiate-at-wedding" rel="nofollow">http://verdict.justia.com/2011/11/21/can-laypersons-ordained-online-as-universal-life-church-ministers-or-the-like-officiate-at-wedding</a></div><div>
    </div>
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