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Rehearsal dinner question

loca4pookloca4pook member
1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I have two friends who are choosing to stay (on their own, not by my request) in the hotel block the night before my wedding because they want to be there with me on my wedding day, but aren't in my wedding party.

 

Should I invlte them to the rehearsal dinner since I guess they are "sorta" from out of town since they are spending the night?!?

My soon to be in laws will be paying, so not sure if it is rude to ask to add two people or more rude to not include them since they clearly want to be part of the day?!?

 

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Re: Rehearsal dinner question

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Personally, I would not invite them. If you want them to get ready with you the next day,that's fine, but I don't see the point of having superfluous people at a dinner your in-laws are paying for.
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  • MoonlightSilverMoonlightSilver member
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    How far out of town are you talking? If it's in a different state than they live, and they are the only guests in the area aside from those invited to the RD, I might ask the inlaws if you can invite them.

    Otherwise, do they know each other? You can chat with them about what time to meet up the morning of the wedding, and then briefly suggest the two of them go out to dinner together the night before. If you have a few restaurant suggestions, even better.
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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
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    loca4pook said:

    I have two friends who are choosing to stay (on their own, not by my request) in the hotel block the night before my wedding because they want to be there with me on my wedding day, but aren't in my wedding party.

     

    Should I invlte them to the rehearsal dinner since I guess they are "sorta" from out of town since they are spending the night?!?

    My soon to be in laws will be paying, so not sure if it is rude to ask to add two people or more rude to not include them since they clearly want to be part of the day?!?

     

    Your language makes me think that you don't necessarily want them there the night before -or-  don't care. If that's true, I would not invite them and wouldn't put a second thought into it.

    I'd find the getting ready in the morning thing odd myself. This happend 2 years ago at my best friend's wedding. This girl wore a similar color to the rest of the BP on purpose, she inserted herself in the festivities from the night before (not RD), and then she inserted herself in the getting ready times. It was awkward. The bride told me if she wanted the girl to be there, she would've asked her to be in her wedding party, but didn't want to be rude about it.

    If that isn't true, and you wanted to include them, I would approach the people paying for it with the intention of paying for the additional plates yourself. I imagine they will offer to include them.

    For my first wedding, the RD included anyone who stayed the night before from OOT. This is also true for my current wedding. In my case, those people will be coming from about 3,000 miles or out of the country and I will WANT that time to be with them because I don't see them often as it is.

    I'm going to a wedding in a few weeks where we will be there for a few nights in town and driving 14 hours but we have not been invited to any RD etc..and don't expect to be.
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  • Stacey&JayStacey&Jay
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    I am having two of my really good friends, who are not  in the bridal party because we decided to keep it small, stay over night (they asked if it was ok, and I said of course!) and go to the RD, and get ready with me at the hotel the next day.

    It depends on your situation, if they are very close to you, and you want them there, then talk to you FILs and see if you can add them. If they arent that close, then just let it go.

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  • loca4pookloca4pook member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary

    I DO want them there on my wedding day. I didn't mean to come across as rude. I guess what I meant is...my wedding at 4pm the next day and they live like an hour away, so it wouldn't be necessary to stay for wedding purposes per say..

    I am not really having a wedding party, so my friends want to be apart of it so they booked so they can be around for me the next day.

    I would be absolutely fine with inviting them to rehearsal dinner if I was paying, but I am not so not sure what to do on that situation. I like the suggestion of offering to pay my inlaws for those extra plates

     

     

     

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