Missing Dress Order Deadline

NYCBride2013

While talking at work today with some of my colleagues 2 brides have interesting issues and everyone had different opinions so I was wondering what you ladies thought (and I will do anything to not work anymore today!).  Both deal with missing dress deadlines!

1) If BM misses the dress order deadline to be in the bridal party what is general protocol?  Do you allow them to be in the BP with another dress?  All of girls were given a fabric and a color from 2 designers and were allowed to select their style so while the style of the dress may not stand out the color most likely will.  Do you take a stand and just say unfortunately as they missed the deadline it just won't work?

2) What would you do if the parents of a FG have not answered whether their child will be in the BP?  B&G asked B's cousin's child to be a flower girl.  Because of a disagreement they have not talked in 2 years but recently reconciled.  Prior to the disagreement, they were very close.  B&G asked the parents of the child and were not given a straight answer (they were bean dipped- maybe that's the first hint!) and then sent a card to the child asking for her to be the FG but also notified the parents of the card to come in case they did not want to present it to her.  The parents informed B&G that they received the card but still did not accept or decline.  The date for ordering the FG dress has now passed and the B&G are just assuming the FG will not be part of the BP.

STARMOON44

1 dye lots are rarely a big deal anymore, so I'd ask her to try and hunt one down, second hand if need be, or buy something as similar as possible. Because my main priority would be having my close friend there with me, not having her match

2. I'd chill out and just let them buy whatever cute fluffy dress they want before the wedding if they decide to let the little girl participate. No idea why you'd need to special order a little girl's dress.

itzMS

1. I've never purchased a bridesmaids dress (within the last 10 years) all at the same time as other bridesmaids at the same shop for any reason. We've always looked "fine" and have "matched". I would never kick someone out over a dress.

2. Flower girls don't really play a huge role in the wedding. I'd wait until I was printing programs and call up the parents and say "Can little Susie be my flower girl next weekend? I'd like to include her in the program". But no sooner. It's NBD.

SomethingBeautiful08

1) I would never risk a good friendship over a dress.  Depending on the situation, I'd look into "rush" ordering a dress, see about buying a sample from the shop and having it altered or just finding something similar off the rack.  At the same time, purchasing an apropriate dress is one of the few expectations of a bridal party member.  If the tides of the relationship had turned in the relationship, I completely understand if a bride lets this be the "final nail in the coffin"

2) I'd leave the door open, call a week or two before the wedding to see about the program, but even day of, if they show up great if they don't, do big deal.