Pennsylvania-Pittsburgh

Bridal Shower

Ok, I feel silly for asking this, but I need advice. I am in a wedding in June and the bride's sister wants to know how much we can contribute toward the bridal shower. She said she doesn't care how much, just tell her a price. There are 7 bridesmaids total. The shower is in northern PA, and they are having sandwiches and appetizers. We are also each to bring a basket. I was thinking $100, but I am not sure if that is enough and I don't want to sound cheap.


Thoughts? TIA!
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Re: Bridal Shower

  • edited December 2011
    Eeek!  That's tricky.  Are you friends with any of the other BM's?  Maybe you can see what they are thinking and go from there.  Also, you might be able to put it back on her and ask for an estimate of the total in order for you to get an idea of what is fair?  I don't know if that would be tacky or not.  Sorry if this isn't much help - I would be feeling the same as you in this situation!
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  • ros3392ros3392 member
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    edited December 2011
    I just sent an email asking how many people she plans to invite so that would maybe give a better idea of at least how many people. If they are invited a lot of people I would offer more.

    I know all of them, but I know one of them well enough to ask. That's a good idea. Thanks!
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  • dbpsu18dbpsu18 member
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    edited December 2011

    Does she have a budget in mind? I like the idea of putting it back on her and asking what her estimate is, and also talking to other BMs. I'd feel a bit uncomfortable just putting a number out there without knowing what others are contributing!


    I guess in the past when ive been a BM in weddings, I was just given a number and it was assumed i'd pay that number, so at least she's giving you an option!


    hmm i wonder how my girls are handling this...


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  • edited December 2011
    I agree about getting more info, but without knowing any details, I don't think contributing $100 sounds cheap. FWIW, I believe my 3 BMs contributed $50 each. My shower was pretty low-cost, and just under 30 people.
  • edited December 2011

    I agree with Kim, $100 doesn't sound too bad considering there are 7 bms. I'd ask how many people and also how much they are estimating the food is per person and go from there.

    I'm in a wedding in September and I wish there were seven of us to split the costs. The bride has already called me cheap... twice. And I thought it would be easier to be in a wedding, than plan one. lol

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  • edited December 2011
    I had a similiar thing happen to me a few months ago when I was a bridesmaid in my friends wedding. Her MOH asked us what we felt comfortable giving,  I had no idea on what to guess so I just asked her what she was thinking..even a rough estimate.  As it turns out, we were both thinking around $100, so it worked out fine - she actually had 7 girls in her bridal party also. HTH!

    Good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    punk, that's awful! While we all know that being in a wedding carries some expectation of cost, when it comes to showers, people need to be able to give what they can afford.  A budget needs to be determined and contributions discussed beforehand. No one should ever assume the playing field is level and that people will "just pay". Another BM & I in a friend's wedding put wayyy more in than others and I didn't even have the money to give. It left us very bitter, because nothing was discussed beforehand, so everyone was blindsided. But my friend never would have called me cheap if I didn't have more than $XX to put in. What a peach that girl is, punk....
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  • edited December 2011

    lol, thanks Lynn! I don't consider myself to be cheap, just conscientious of what I spend $ on. Nobody asked us what we were comfortable spending and try to plan a budget around it, it's just out of control at this point. Did you know a 10lb bag of personalized M&M's cost $250? That's roughly $65 worth of M&M's per bridesmaid. Ouch. And nobody is going to care if they are personalized, they are just going to eat them anyway.

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  • ros3392ros3392 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yikes! They really bought a $250 bag of M and M's and wanted you to pay for it? That is crazy and it sounds like someone is being a little crazy with expectations. I too am trying to watch what I spend my money on as we are saving for a house, but I don't mind putting money in for her wedding, I just want a number to go with!

    Thanks for the suggestions everyone!
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