Family Style Food

Noey88

So I m getting married next october and one of the ways that we thought we could save money is to have a family style dinner. I hate buffets. I think they are kind of tacky and the food can go cold or get soggy. I just wanted an opinion on either doing the food myself (I'm a professional cook and I know how to multi task) or to hire a caterer to do it for me. I just have this fear of the food being bland and typical wedding food. 

jessicabessica

When I went to a family style wedding, there was basically just enough food for each person at the table to take a serving, and then the servers quickly refilled the serving plates.  That's what you have to do to prevent cold or soggy food, and you can also do this with a buffet (we did).  I am not sure if family style would be cheaper than a plated meal--you would have to see what your caterer offered if you went with a caterer.  If you did it yourself, I would think you would have to have more food with family style, since whenever people serve themselves, they may take more than a planned serving.  

Even if you are a professional cook, I would think hard about doing this yourself.  You will have enough going on the day of your wedding and in the days right before it.  You would still need to have staff to serve the food and prepare everything day of, too.

Sue-n-Kevin

I have been to family style weddings and much of what the posters above said are true. I always had enough to eat, but then the plates are gathered in the middle of the table, and to me, it looks less elegant than a buffet. It also limits the "other" stuff you can have on the table like centerpieces or favors........then it truly gets clustered together.

Nearly every wedding I have been to has been a buffet. I don't recall ever thinking the food was cold or soggy. A lot depends on the quality of the caterer in food preparation, AND the quality of the staff who puts the food into the chafing dishes and keeps it at the right temperature and replenishes properly.

I also recommend you don't prepare the food yourself. The stress level would be off the charts as you worried about whether everything was going ok with the food, and then you also have a very busy day ahead of you where you are half of the main equation, along with your husband.

Look for a quality caterer who is willing to prepare food according to your standards. Around here I found that gourmet grocery stores who also do catering provide a better price and quality food outside the standard "wedding food" that caterers tend to supply.  I am a foodie, but not a chef. The gourmet store/caterer we went with altered their standard recipes to include ingredients I like. This experience showed me they are willing to go beyond the cookie-cutter style of food that standard caterers supply. Continue looking for a caterer that will take your recipes or ideas and incorporate them. I had no difficulty at all. An engaged chef will want to please their customer, and many look forward to cooperating if you give them a chance.

Good luck.

 

Noey88

I agree with the stress level being too much for me to handle everything, but I do know quality control is a bug issue. For those who don't agree with it being cheaper, as someone who has done many wedding s myself, I can attest to the fact that while it can seem like a free For all in serving, it allows for The guests to pick and choose what they want. As for it getting in the way of table decorations, we don't plan on having but a few candles, small white pumpkins, and bud vases allowing the food to be the main attraction. I can also give a description of what the menu will be: classic roasted chickens with rosemary and thyme that will be carved prior to speed up serving, sourdough stuffing as a nod to my hometown  of san francisco, roasted green beans and carrots, mashed potatoes, and a simple gravy. No pastas as they quickly turn to mush, no seafood because it is out of season, no beef due to cost. All in all food per head is only $4.65. This does not include drinks of course nor dessert. But again, instead of a cake (although pretty to look at) that will be marked up 150% we are having pies and cookies that we will be making. I hope I didn't come across as pretentious. Just as someone who knows the business, I understand how it works. 

Siren89

I understand where you are coming from.  Having been a professional cook for the majority of my life, I understand you have seen some BAD things happen with catered events.  As you probably already know, even with a seated dinner, you can still have food going out cold.  I disagree with your stance on pasta, but I like the idea of the chickens.  Although it's been said before, the biggest trick is just to find a caterer that you like and trust.  Everything is going to be marked up for food, because it costs a lot more than food cost to make and serve dinner.  The pies and cookies are a good idea, since you can make them beforehand.  If you don't want something pretentious, you can make a small wedding cake decorated with edible flowers and buttercream without the price soaring.

itzMS

I attended a family style wedding last winter. It was a PITA. Each table got about 10 bowls/platters/baskets of food items. 3 meats, 3 veggies, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, and a cupcake "tree". There was barely enough room on the table as it was, but I had to try to eat my meal with a platter of roast beef on one side and buttered corn on the other.

Buffet is much better. Keeps the extra food off the guest tables.

coolwhipz1

I really dislike family style meals. I'm super picky about how other people handle food and I barely ate anything at the few family style dinners I've been to. I would much prefer buffet over family style.

lasvegasveganbride

I thought I always wanted family style until I went to a wedding with Family style. You don't realize how awkward sharing a bowl of pasta is with a person you've never met until then. I sat next to my friend and a man I'd never met and it was just weird sharing food with people that weren't my family.

QueerFemme

I hate family style meals, I would much rather attend a buffet. The reaching over one another at a table and passing bowls back & forth is no fun.  I barely like doing it with my immediate family, I would despise doing it at table of strangers.

KerisaHarman21

I went to a wedding wehre they served a family style meal and honestly it was not fun, there were 8-10 people at a table and there was definitely not enough food for 8-10 people, not to sound rude but there were several heavy eaters at the table and there was barely enough left for the rest of us after it was passed around and it was not refilled. Plus I really didn't like the idea of the kids at the table touching the food.....

Latham101114

How many guests are you having and what kind of tables are being used? If the guest numbers are small and the tables are rectangle this can work! And while I agree with the crowded tables and awkward passing of food comments from other posts this can work too! If the serving trays are simple and are mostly food (think the simple white dishes collection at bed bath and beyond) it wont be too crowded. If you design a seating chart with a mixture of introvert and extroverts who you feel would interact well even though they dont know each other it will limit the awkwardness....Lastly I would suggest hiring some sort of servers for day of so you dont have to do anything at the reception except mingle and eat.

lyndausvi

My DH is a chef, us cooking our own food was never an option.  He knows from experience how much work it is.  That was the last thing he wanted to do for his own wedding.   

I kind-of find it odd you can't find a caterer could trust.  My experience is chefs all of connections with other chefs and people in the business.  At the very least you should have connections to hire people to cook food that you can buy at cheap prices.

Noey88

I agree with the servers! We plan in having very long farmhouse tables and minimal table decor. Most of our friends are in theater or in the culinary industry so they are not only opinionated but very loud. Its going to be a very good time, especially when we add in the wine we are shipping in from my godparents vineyard in Tuscany.

Noey88

lyndausvi said:

My DH is a chef, us cooking our own food was never an option.  He knows from experience how much work it is.  That was the last thing he wanted to do for his own wedding.   

I kind-of find it odd you can't find a caterer could trust.  My experience is chefs all of connections with other chefs and people in the business.  At the very least you should have connections to hire people to cook food that you can buy at cheap prices.

My problem with finding a caterer is that most of my coworkers and people I would recommend are invited to the wedding. When it comes to a chef hiring other chefs it is not as easy as one would believe.