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What you give me, I must give you! It's only fair!

I wanted to know how common this is? This has nothing to do with my opinion, I know someone that continuously repeats this and it makes me question other married couples.
The married couple has a list of all gifts and monies received from their wedding day (especially who attended and did not attend the shower/parties). Whenever they are invited to one of their guests weddings, this couple reviews their gift list to see what that person gave them. Example: if guest B gave them $25 as a wedding gift (even if they were broke, out of work, or etc...), the married couple would also give $25. They said that it is not fair for them to give every newly wedded couple $100 if those people gave them less than $100 for their wedding gift. When the couple told me that (which was more than 3x they brought this topic up), they asked what I thought. In my opinion, I (not what others think) said my gift is based on how I feel about the married couple and what I can afford. The married couple looked at me and said that I was weird. My overall discussion is....is it common to see married couples review their past wedding gifts and give the exact same amount ($) of gift to their future wedded guests? What if they were invited to someone's wedding and THAT someone was never invited to their wedding?
RetreadBride

Re: What you give me, I must give you! It's only fair!

  • That is just about as dumb as the covering your plate 'rule.'

    RetreadBride
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination
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    That is the most ridiculous and petty thing I've ever heard of.
  • Holy cow. I'd say this couple is one of a kind. I don't know anyone who does that.
  • kerbohlkerbohl
    500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments First Answer
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    I would say that they sound immature.  This is rationale that shouldn't leave the schoolyard.  Actually, this is exactly what Sheldon Cooper does on the Big Bang, and everyone else thinks he is crazy for it. 
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    shilotony2012[Deleted User]jenn5628HuckSC
  • They sound incredibly shallow.  So, does that mean if someone gave them some incredibly over the top, very expensive wedding gift that they will reciprocate when the time comes?
  • nswearensweare
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    Make sure the couple has an exact tally of how much you spent for their wedding. Did you buy a new dress? How much did you spend in gas? Did you have to rent a hotel? If you did those things, then bean-counter couple needs to make sure they also spend that equivalent. It's only fair!!
    ChrisEmilyL[Deleted User]
  • d2vad2va
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    nsweare said:
    Make sure the couple has an exact tally of how much you spent for their wedding. Did you buy a new dress? How much did you spend in gas? Did you have to rent a hotel? If you did those things, then bean-counter couple needs to make sure they also spend that equivalent. It's only fair!!
    LOL THIS


    They are assholes, and they are even bigger assholes for actually telling another person about it. 


  • jarednmeganjarednmegan
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
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    edited May 2013
    Anyone who would keep tabs on how much you spent on them in the first place might as well not even bother with a gift. If anyone on my guest list would do that to me, I'd wonder why I invited them!

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    First, who the hell has the time to keep track of things like that?

    Second, that couple are complete asses.  You give the gift you can afford to give and what you want to give to the couple getting married at that time.


    jarednmegan
  • I would give them a Mickey Mouse soap dispenser so I can see how they reciprocate.
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

    [Deleted User]jarednmegandaveANDkristensnippet17
  • That's terrible. I couldn't even tell you what people gave us for gifts.
     
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  • Very tacky, and I agree with Maggie, who has the time?  As we opened gifts, we kept a list of the gift and the giver for TY notes, but we didn't write down dollar amounts for cash gifts.  What difference does it make? 
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  • The TY note list is also nice if you want to remember later who gave you one of your favorite gifts. But for God's sake, don't even pay attention to the dollar amount. Just the fact that someone has helped you feather your nest, whether it's with dish towels or a piece of furniture, is enough.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
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    I usually give a standard amount for weddings.  BIL was married 4 months after us.  I didn't have time to pull up my spreadsheet from the wedding (we cataloged the gifts so that we could write proper thank yous and check them off as we finished them).  Well, we ended up giving BIL & SIL $50 more than they gave us for our wedding.  And then BIL yelled at us later for giving them more than they gave us.  He said it made him feel cheap.  Really?

    My sister is getting married in October and her and her now FI, were super generous in their gift to us and I know we can't reciprocate it because we are saving for a new house and it would really eat into our budget.  I do feel bad about that.

  • I would never think to do that. I go with how close I am and what I can afford at the time. I only remember the dollar amounts of a few gifts that were ever given to me (birthday/graduations/Christmas) and usually it was because it was more than I was expecting.

    I think my mother sometimes keeps tabs, but only on a few of my family members because they're cheapskates and feels like her years of giving to them and their kids was never reciprocated in any way (free babysitting, thoughtful gifts for birthdays and Christmas but when she needed help with watching my brother and I during the divorce, they gave her mounds of shit).

    It's not fair to judge your relationship with someone by how much cash they give you.
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  • edited August 2013
    Post removed due to GBCK
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    [Deleted User]
  • That sounds like a terrible way to go through life. Nothing in life is tit for tat.
  • My FI is the most generous wedding gift giver I have ever met. It is actually crazy to me how much he gives. I am certain that all of his friends will not be giving us the same amount for our wedding, but that doesn't matter. I honestly think he goes a little over the top and would never expect a friend to give us the same thing. 

    I honestly think it is crazy that they do that. 
  • Pele, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me Offensive Kitten for a wedding present.  I can give you its kittens for your Vow Renewal.  You can give me THEIR kittens to use as centerpieces for mine.  I found the CUTEST Bonsai Kittens on the internet.

    We can start a family tradition!

    Wait, bonsai kittens? Pictures or it didn't happen!
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • Why not just keep all that crap in a closet with the givers' names on them, and just give them back when the occasion arises? Why even unwrap it?
    "I wish yo azz all tha dopest up in yo' marriages"
  • Pele, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me Offensive Kitten for a wedding present.  I can give you its kittens for your Vow Renewal.  You can give me THEIR kittens to use as centerpieces for mine.  I found the CUTEST Bonsai Kittens on the internet.

    We can start a family tradition!
    Wait, bonsai kittens? Pictures or it didn't happen!
    It's an old internet hoax.  http://bonsaikitten.com/bkintro.php
    Aw boo.  BTW, that website just gave my virus software the vapors.  It was all:
    image
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • Shoo offensive kitten, stop answering for me early in the morning.  It makes me look crazy.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    [Deleted User]
  • rajahmdrajahmd Galifrey
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    Pele, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me Offensive Kitten for a wedding present.  I can give you its kittens for your Vow Renewal.  You can give me THEIR kittens to use as centerpieces for mine.  I found the CUTEST Bonsai Kittens on the internet.

    We can start a family tradition!

    Wait, bonsai kittens? Pictures or it didn't happen!

    It's an old internet hoax.  http://bonsaikitten.com/bkintro.php

    Aw boo.  BTW, that website just gave my virus software the vapors.  It was all:
    image


    Haha. That GIF made my day. Thanks for the giggle!
    Anniversary
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