When is it too late to delay the wedding?

loveteaching1022

SO and I are supposed to be getting married the first weekend of August. However, today he found out he'd been laid off of his job and we know we won't make ends meet with only my income. We are considering delaying the wedding probably a whole year so he can find a new job and we can get our financial footing back on ground. However, I'm worried it may be too late to change the date. We haven't sent out invitations yet, but people have made plans to come down for the wedding... would it be wrong to ask people to change their plans. If it weren't an emergency we really wouldn't even consider it, but we really don't want to start our lives together until we have more solid ground.

wittykitty14

Ditto PPs.  You can delay pretty much any time before the wedding.  However, it will be a lot easier to do so before you send out the invites.  Plus the sooner you do it, the sooner you won't have to worry about it.   Your family and friends will understand.  Good luck to you and your FI!

misssunshine17

Delay now. However, are you talking about a bunch of people with flights and hotels? I, personally, think you should try to reimburse them when the time comes. 

imimbles

misssunshine17 said:

Delay now. However, are you talking about a bunch of people with flights and hotels? I, personally, think you should try to reimburse them when the time comes. 

In principle, I agree, but that would probably be more expensive then just holding the wedding...

radleyboo

RetreadBride said:

When is it too late to delay the wedding?

After the "I Dos" have been said, and the marriage certificate has been signed.

This.  Your family and friends will completely understand your predicament, you're making a solid decision based on your circumstances.  Two things I'd like to mention, though:

1-There's no reason you can't still be married in a small, private ceremony, even at the JOP and move forward as husband and wife together.  Marriage is about ups and downs, and it sounds like you guys support each other really well.  You could have a reception later after you've got your feet back under you.  Just an idea.  

2-Like @RetreadBride said above, it's never to late to postpone or cancel until after the 'I do's' and the license has been signed.  I had major doubts before my first wedding and didn't say anything, and it's something I regret (not that this is your issue).  Always follow your heart.

Best of luck to both of you, and to your FI in his job search!  

TheBaysideBride

Just an idea - my fiance was also laid off during the wedding planning process - can you still get married, but scale back the reception? i'm assuming by now the invites are printed, and your dress has been purchased and deposits put down on things. For me, letting FI know we are together through anything, and that finacnes wouldn't dictate when we became husband and wife, was important.  I absolutely understand you might feel like you won't even have enough to have a basic wedding, so this is just an idea for someone who's in your shoes.

Kate61487

radleyboo said:

RetreadBride said:

When is it too late to delay the wedding?

After the "I Dos" have been said, and the marriage certificate has been signed.

This.  Your family and friends will completely understand your predicament, you're making a solid decision based on your circumstances.  Two things I'd like to mention, though:

1-There's no reason you can't still be married in a small, private ceremony, even at the JOP and move forward as husband and wife together.  Marriage is about ups and downs, and it sounds like you guys support each other really well.  You could have a reception later after you've got your feet back under you.  Just an idea.  

2-Like @RetreadBride said above, it's never to late to postpone or cancel until after the 'I do's' and the license has been signed.  I had major doubts before my first wedding and didn't say anything, and it's something I regret (not that this is your issue).  Always follow your heart.

Best of luck to both of you, and to your FI in his job search!  

To the bolded: no, they can't.  A reception is what you host immediately following a wedding ceremony (or other event) to thank your guests for attending the ceremony.  They could have an awesome anniversary party at some future date, but that wouldn't help at all with her current predicament (which is the fact that guests have already made travel plans).

 

OP - send out un-save the date cards (just a simple "the wedding of X and Y will not take place as planned", as PP said) or call guests up to let them know you're postponing.  If you already had a new date in mind you could give that on the card / phone call; but it sounds like things are pretty uncertain right now so better to leave it open.  Your guests shouldn't be losing any money this far out - airlines should give credits, hotels usually don't charge if you cancel this far in advance. If you want to offer to cover any unrecoverable expense that would be nice, but since financial hardship is the reason for postponing that's pretty counterproductive...

radleyboo

To the bolded: no, they can't.  A reception is what you host immediately following a wedding ceremony (or other event) to thank your guests for attending the ceremony.  They could have an awesome anniversary party at some future date, but that wouldn't help at all with her current predicament (which is the fact that guests have already made travel plans).

Reception, anniversary party, celebration, open house, BBQ, whatever you'd like to call it.  No offense meant by the 'syntax error'.  

Ven&Radio

You should review your vendor contracts before making a decision.  Many will charge you up to the full amount if you cancel or postpone.  I would want to know what cancelling/postponing would cost me before making that decision, personally.