I am getting married in a few weeks and I am so excited to start our lives together but the name change is something I haven't decided on yet. Any thoughts would be appreciated! I have been going back and forth thinking I'll just take his name, I'll hyphen, no I'll keep mine etc. Below are the random thoughts bouncing around my head and I don't mean to discredit anyone's choices, a name is a very personal thing which is why I think I"m having so much trouble but everyone makes the best decision for them I'm just curious about how other women have handled this.
Why do women have to be categorized by marital status? A man stays "Mr." regardless but a woman is expected to advertise her availability/ unavailability to complete strangers by Ms. Miss. or Mrs. and change our name to show we are no longer our father's problem but our new husband's? I know that's the harshest way to look at it and don't get me wrong, I smiled when a holiday card came addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname and I think the Mr and Mrs luggage tags from a friend are incredibly cute but these things come from close friends and family who know me and love me. So I kind of want to remain the same to those prying eyes of the outside world and stay Ms. Maiden name. My fiance, friends and family know how much I love him and want to start a family and while our marriage is a huge commitment and will defiantly change my life for the better I am still the same person I was, I am still part of the family I was before too etc. i am not losing that family, just gaining more and they know I have no problem with being called Mrs. Hislastname by them.
My concern is what if the worst happens and I'm not admitted to my husband's hospital room because I don't share a last name? What if the school questions me picking up my own children from school? What if I am never seated with my husband traveling because of the two different last names. On the other hand, if my grandma writes a check to Mrs. Hislast name I won't be able to cash it? There are pros and cons to both, has anyone else gone through this?
Have any ladies kept their maiden name, no hypen, no taking a second middle or last name? Pros and cons?
Could I take his last name as my second middle name? That way all documents would still identify me as Ms. Maidenname but in a tight situation my Driver's license would have both?
Thanks for any input!