I'm Happily Married........but.......need some feedback please.
The date in my ticker is inaccurate..........let me just say that first. I am already married, and happily, but am having a problem dealing with things that happened on our wedding day. I apologize if this runs long.....I will try to use a condensed version........
We rented a venue with an outside garden for our ceremony and reception. Our wedding has been in the planning for over 18 months, and certain things were stated at the beginning.
The ceremony would be in the garden at 4.
Reception beginning at 5.
DRY wedding. My fiancee' and several of his close friends are recovering alcoholics (20 yrs. for him)......
Venders were allowed full access to the site anytime after 12 noon.
An outside room would be unlocked and accessible for the bridal party upon arrival.
Ok........so here's what went down.
We arrived at 2:45. The room in the garden was locked. Bumped into the DJ who was responsible for the music during our ceremony who was freaking out. She had arrived at 12:30, found the doors locked, and no one would answer the door. Calls went to voicemail. She left and returned at 1:00 where she got access to the hall. She set up in there after she found out there was no one in the park. She left the hall when finished, and told staff that she needed someone to come outside and show her where to plug in to their system (which she was assured she could do). She then went out to the garden (park)...
when we arrived she came up to me and told me no one had ever come. She could get no response from inside the hall. I called and got an answer on the phone and explained the situation. The manager who answered assured me that someone would be right out. No one came.
The minister we contracted with through the venue was already outside. She also contracted with us to do some decorating at the ceremony site. Her truck was parked literally at the end (beginning) of the aisle. We approached her, and she told us she was busy and to call for help. We did again, and went to voicemail......
We called a few more times, voicemail, and were running around trying to find someone to help. I was then informed that there were no flowers for my or his parents. I called the florist who told me he had left them in the hall. They weren't there. He said if that was the case that someone inside the hall had moved them. It took over 35 more minutes to find out what happened to them.
Meanwhile the door still wasn't open, and no one had come for the dj. The minister is still decorating. I was "hiding" in the bathroom. The guests were arriving and walking around her parked truck to access the aisle, where she was unpacking boxes and tying tulle bows. My family approached her numerous times to offer assistance, and ask her to move her truck, and were rudely dismissed each time. We were supposed to be doing pictures in the garden, which never got done. The dj was finally sent a "kitchen boy" who had no idea what to do......at 15 minutes after ceremony time she finally was able to get sound, and began to play the prelude music. The minister was still decorating. She finally came back to get us 45 minutes late, raising her hands, and saying, "I know, I know, I'm late. I'm sorry. Let's get going."
The bridal party processed down the aisle, and my daughter sang a solo to accompany me down the aisle, only they never connected her microphone so no one could hear her.
After the ceremony, the photographer informed us that we had to forego family pictures, and outside pictures due to the delay. We went into our reception where we were met by the Groom's mother who told us there weren't enough chairs at her table, and she couldn't find anyone to help.
They began announcing our entrance and we went in where we were seated at the head table. The toasting glasses were already poured. My daughter and son began the toast, and we raised our glasses, when my husband looked at me and asked what we were drinking. I told him it was sparkling apple juice. He looked at me funny for a minute and asked me to taste it. It was CHAMPAGNE. The whole head table had toasting glasses full of champagne, and he almost drank some. Not to mention we had other recovering alcoholics at the head table that by the grace of GOD didn't drink it. We told the manager, who smiled at us, and said it was a "miscommunication" and would be taken care of. We waited 15 to 20 minutes while the servers removed the alcohol from the room. I was so upset........and decided to exit the room to change my dress, after informing the staff to immediately serve dinner to our guests.
I met my father in law who was trying to leave our reception.......telling me that the food at their table was cold, and he was treated horribly when he asked for assistance. He said it was the worst place he had ever been to, and wanted to leave. I convinced him to stay after promising to get him some hot food, and then couldn't find the manager in charge of our reception. I had to go to a buffet server and ask them to take care of the problem. I went to my parents table where I was also told the food was cold. The head table had been served cold food as well, and we realized later that many of our purchased menu items were never even offered to us.
Meanwhile, I found out that many of our guests were missing their chairs, as well as our venders who were told to sit on a "stage" with their plates in their laps. We paid for seating, as well as chair covers and bows for all our guests and vendors, and even with the 5 people who responded yes and didn't show up, there were guests who had no seats.
We chose to then cut our cake, and found our crystal cake server and knife were nowhere to be found..........we were given a cheap plastic set to use. They had no idea where our set was, and I haven't seen it since.
We had rented crystal centerpieces for our tables, and noticed at the rehearsal the night before that every one was missing many of the crystals. We told management and were assured that they had many extras and they would be replaced the day before. We found out that none of them had ever been touched.
Other things that staff were supposed to take care of never happened.........mints in bowls, candles lit.....things that seem insignificant, but still weren't done as promised.
Our photographer tried to coordinate the evening with management after the ceremony delay, and told us the manager literally turned and walked away as she was speaking.
Most of our guests left shortly after dinner, and we ended up packing up an hour before our reception was to end. I just wanted to be out of there, and go hang with friends.
I know that the important thing is that we are married, but it has only been a few days, and I struggle with knowing that we can't have a "do-over"....and that we just have to accept that things happened the way they did. I'm just having a hard time with what seems like complete neglect and irresponsibilty on the part of management..........ESPECIALLY the alcohol that was served at our reception. One drink would have been a death sentence to many of the people there.
So........there's my story. For those of you who are still with me...........any insight? Any feedback on what you think about this? I would just like to know how someone on the outside perceives this. Am I overreacting being upset?
Thanks so much for taking the time to let me get this out. I apprecate any input you may have.