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I'm Happily Married........but.......need some feedback please.

Hi Ladies.

The date in my ticker is inaccurate..........let me just say that first. I am already married, and happily, but am having a problem dealing with things that happened on our wedding day.  I apologize if this runs long.....I will try to use a condensed version........

We rented a venue with an outside garden for our ceremony and reception. Our wedding has been in the planning for over 18 months, and certain things were stated at the beginning.

The ceremony would be in the garden at 4.

Reception beginning at 5.

DRY wedding. My fiancee' and several of his close friends are recovering alcoholics (20 yrs. for him)......

Venders were allowed full access to the site anytime after 12 noon.

An outside room would be unlocked and accessible for the bridal party upon arrival.

 

Ok........so here's what went down.

We arrived at 2:45. The room in the garden was locked. Bumped into the DJ who was responsible for the music during our ceremony who was freaking out. She had arrived at 12:30, found the doors locked, and no one would answer the door. Calls went to voicemail. She left and returned at 1:00 where she got access to the hall. She set up in there after she found out there was no one in the park. She left the hall when finished, and told staff that she needed someone to come outside and show her where to plug in to their system (which she was assured she could do). She then went out to the garden (park)...

when we arrived she came up to me and told me no one had ever come. She could get no response from inside the hall. I called and got an answer on the phone and explained the situation. The manager who answered assured me that someone would be right out. No one came.

The minister we contracted with through the venue was already outside. She also contracted with us to do some decorating at the ceremony site. Her truck was parked literally at the end (beginning) of the aisle. We approached her, and she told us she was busy and to call for help. We did again, and went to voicemail......

We called a few more times, voicemail, and were running around trying to find someone to help. I was then informed that there were no flowers for my or his parents. I called the florist who told me he had left them in the hall. They weren't there. He said if that was the case that someone inside the hall had moved them. It took over 35 more minutes to find out what happened to them.

Meanwhile the door still wasn't open, and no one had come for the dj. The minister is still decorating. I was "hiding" in the bathroom. The guests were arriving and walking around her parked truck to access the aisle, where she was unpacking boxes and tying tulle bows. My family approached her numerous times to offer assistance, and ask her to move her truck, and were rudely dismissed each time. We were supposed to be doing pictures in the garden, which never got done. The dj was finally sent a "kitchen boy" who had no idea what to do......at 15 minutes after ceremony time she finally was able to get sound, and began to play the prelude music. The minister was still decorating. She finally came back to get us 45 minutes late, raising her hands, and saying, "I know, I know, I'm late. I'm sorry. Let's get going."

The bridal party processed down the aisle, and my daughter sang a solo to accompany me down the aisle, only they never connected her microphone so no one could hear her.

After the ceremony, the photographer informed us that we had to forego family pictures, and outside pictures due to the delay. We went into our reception where we were met by the Groom's mother who told us there weren't enough chairs at her table, and she couldn't find anyone to help.

They began announcing our entrance and we went in where we were seated at the head table. The toasting glasses were already poured. My daughter and son began the toast, and we raised our glasses, when my husband looked at me and asked what we were drinking. I told him it was sparkling apple juice. He looked at me funny for a minute and asked me to taste it. It was CHAMPAGNE. The whole head table had toasting glasses full of champagne, and he almost drank some. Not to mention we had other recovering alcoholics at the head table that by the grace of GOD didn't drink it. We told the manager, who smiled at us, and said it was a "miscommunication" and would be taken care of. We waited 15 to 20 minutes while the servers removed the alcohol from the room. I was so upset........and decided to exit the room to change my dress, after informing the staff to immediately serve dinner to our guests.

I met my father in law who was trying to leave our reception.......telling me that the food at their table was cold, and he was treated horribly when he asked for assistance. He said it was the worst place he had ever been to, and wanted to leave. I convinced him to stay after promising to get him some hot food, and then couldn't find the manager in charge of our reception. I had to go to a buffet server and ask them to take care of the problem. I went to my parents table where I was also told the food was cold. The head table had been served cold food as well, and we realized later that many of our purchased menu items were never even offered to us.

Meanwhile, I found out that many of our guests were missing their chairs, as well as our venders who were told to sit on a "stage" with their plates in their laps. We paid for seating, as well as chair covers and bows for all our guests and vendors, and even with the 5 people who responded yes and didn't show up, there were guests who had no seats.

We chose to then cut our cake, and found our crystal cake server and knife were nowhere to be found..........we were given a cheap plastic set to use. They had no idea where our set was, and I haven't seen it since.

We had rented crystal centerpieces for our tables, and noticed at the rehearsal the night before that every one was missing many of the crystals. We told management and were assured that they had many extras and they would be replaced  the day before. We found out that none of them had ever been touched.

Other things that staff were supposed to take care of never happened.........mints in bowls, candles lit.....things that seem insignificant, but still weren't done as promised.

Our photographer tried to coordinate the evening with management after the ceremony delay, and told us the manager literally turned and walked away as she was speaking.

Most of our guests left shortly after dinner, and we ended up packing up an hour before our reception was to end. I just wanted to be out of there, and go hang with friends.

I know that the important thing is that we are married, but it has only been a few days, and I struggle with knowing that we can't have a "do-over"....and that we just have to accept that things happened the way they did. I'm just having a hard time with what seems like complete neglect and irresponsibilty on the part of management..........ESPECIALLY the alcohol that was served at our reception. One drink would have been a death sentence to many of the people there.

So........there's my story. For those of you who are still with me...........any insight?  Any feedback on what you think about this?  I would just like to know how someone on the outside perceives this. Am I overreacting being upset?

Thanks so much for taking the time to let me get this out.  I apprecate any input you may have.

 

 

 

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Re: I'm Happily Married........but.......need some feedback please.

  • Gypsy79Gypsy79
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
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    Wow that's a whole lot of what the holy hell. Keep calling people until you get refunded for a reasonable amount!
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    [Deleted User]wittykitty14coopergirl15
  • So sorry you had to deal with that awful situation on your wedding day. I'd write down a bulleted list like Stage said and send it to the highest up person possible with a refund request. Once you're done with that negotiation, make sure you post reviews on every board and website you can find. 

    And in between it all, take some time to just bask in married bliss. Don't let yourself remember only the bad things about the wedding.
    [Deleted User]wittykitty14daveANDkristen
  • Wow.. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. How crazy. I'd definitely be giving them bad reviews and demanding at least a partial refund. Sounds like they didn't even attempt to fix their mistakes. Like Stage said, if they don't make up for it, I'd definitely contact an attorney. It's definitely not ok to go completely against the contract like that.
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  • I would contact the attorney now.  I wouldn't even try to contact more people related to that venue, because it sounds like you tried about 10000000000000 times to get some help from them already.
    [Deleted User]
  • I don't even know what to say.  I would be livid. They did so many things wrong that it's hard to know where to start.  I'm so sorry you had to go through this.  There's a lot of excitement and commotion during weddings, and it's awful that you had to spend the day so stressed out.

    Definitely go to the highest person you can.  Like PPs have said, have a bullet point list.  Highlight everything on your contract that they didn't fulfill.  That might give you a better sense of how much to demand for a refund.  Once you figure out who to talk to, tell them you're going to contact an attorney if they don't do anything, and then follow through if they ignore you or give you the runaround.  Once everything is settled, post reviews EVERYWHERE.

    It sounds like just about everything went wrong.  You'll probably be dealing with this for a while, but try and keep your chin up!  Congrats on getting married!  :)

  • kerbohlkerbohl
    500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments First Answer
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    That is insane!  A refund is absolutely necessary, as PP have said.  And do something about that missing crystal cake server and knife!  Someone robbed you. 
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  • Everyone has given you good advice, but I just wanted to add that I am so, so sorry about how so many things were handled on your wedding day. I bet one day you will look back on it and laugh, but for the present moment you are entirely justified in being furious. Definitely consult with an attorney. 
  • I would contacting the highest possible person up the chain at the venue. List out your problems in bullet point form, decide on a reasonable refund amount, and request it. If they don't respond or blow you off, consider talking to an attorney.
    I agree with all of this.
    I'm so sorry about what happened.  I would be SO frustrated.  I hope you are able to come to a resolution.  
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  • PPs have it covered, seek a refund and contact a lawyer. 

    When this is behind you, try to look back on your wedding day fondly.  Also keep in mind that while do-overs are not ok, vow renewals are.  You and your husband could have a vow renewal with your family and friends someday, or even have one privately if you wish.  It is unfortunate that your wedding day didn't work out the way you planned, but it was still a success (you're married!).

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  • Wow, I've just read this and I'm so sorry that happened!  I can't believe they served alcohol and then didn't make a big deal of apologising, that's shocking.  I hope you get things sorted out with the minimum of stress.
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