Does the bride EXPECT gifts from bridesmaids?

theycallmejen

I've spent A LOT of money on her wedding already.  My dress ($370), 2 nights at the hotel ($300), gas to drive to her location and back ($100).

southernbelle0915

I don't expect any from my BMs - I'm just happy they're there. It would be nice to get a memorable card from them.

misshart00

I said in another similar thread, just get her a nice card and write a heartfelt note. If she gets mad, oh well.

Xstatic3333

southernbelle0915 said:

I don't expect any from my BMs - I'm just happy they're there. It would be nice to get a memorable card from them.

I agree totally.  I figure their being in the wedding is a gift to me (and a great one at that!) Plus, your dress was $370?  Holy moly!

ETA: I'm not saying to withhold a gift as revenge for the dress price, just that it's totally fine not to get one if your wedding budget is maxed out, KWIM?

lyndausvi

Well I didn't expect a gift from ANYONE, let alone the BMs.

Just give her a card.

Gypsy79

lyndausvi said:

Well I didn't expect a gift from ANYONE, let alone the BMs.

Just give her a card.

I was gonna say this. So I just quoted it.

MrsLillyG

Wow your dress was expensive.  I'd say at least get her something small and a card.  Ive seen that people on here say that gifts are not required, but I would never ever show up empty handed to a wedding.

vanityink

All of my BMs got me something (though I certainly wouldn't have been upset in the slightest if they hadn't). Two got big gifts, one got some nice glasses, and the last two went in on a small gift together (they traveled the furthest, and really didn't expect anything from them honestly, so even that was a nice surprise). In your case, a card would probably be lovely, and maybe something small if you feel like it.

walgrrl

As a bride, I know my bridesmaids have already spent a lot of money to be in my wedding, so I'm kind of hoping they don't feel obligated to get me gifts and I'd actually prefer if they didn't, because I would feel bad.

That said, as a bridesmaid, I gave the bride a gift.  I had already spent a lot of money on the dress and my plane ticket, but I really wanted to get her a gift as well since she is one of my best friends and I could afford it.  I think the only time I would not get the bride a gift is if I truly just couldn't afford it and even then I'd probably write her a heartfelt note and possibly attempt to make something for her.

Belle0720

I wouldn't be mad if my BMs didn't get me gifts. But in the weddings that I've been in, I've always given gifts in addition to spending money on my dress & helping throw showers & bachelorette parties. I personally would just feel weird coming to a wedding empty handed. A card would be a nice sentiment if you don't want to get a gift though.

bakerie

Yeah, I personally could not give a flip if my MOH buys me a gift or not. I'm just so happy she's going to be there, that's all that matters.

annathy03

This.  I'd ask 1) do you truly want to get her one? 2) can you afford it?  If either of those are a no, a card is perfect.  And if you live by them and want to but can't swing the cost, you could always offer to get the mail/watch pets/water plants, or whatever you're comfortable with while they are on their honeymoon.

lyndausvi said:

Well I didn't expect a gift from ANYONE, let alone the BMs.

Just give her a card.

kerbohl

My wedding dress cost less than your BM dress . . .
I agree with PP - a gift isn't necessary, but a card is always a nice gesture. 

lifeonthehill

I told my MOH and BM that all I really wanted a card. I told them not to worry abot including anything but just a card form them for the scrapbook.

jaenella

During the last wedding I was in, the BMs all agreed we couldn't afford a big gift. Instead, we put together a book of our favourite recipes and had it bound - it felt like more of a gift than a card but was still only about $10 pp to have it printed.

imimbles

Agree with PPs about a card. I don't expect gifts but I would really appreciate a note.

boomboom1243

I mean sounds like you dont want to give her a gift out of spite. She asked you to be a bridesmaid she didnt tell you. And if you had issues with spending that much money I think thats on you. But I do not think that people expect gifts at their wedding but I would feel bad if I ever went to one emptied handed no matter how much it cost me to attend.

keochan

My BM's are already paying for a dress and shoes, I just want them standing up with me, I don't need a gift. A nice heartfelt note/letter would mean a lot though.

artbyallie

Holy crap, a nearly $400 bridesmaid dress?! I have to ask, did she even ask any of you about budget before picking that? I mean, I know I'm in a LCOL area, but that's not far short of what my wedding dress cost and I've never owned any other dress that was over $100.

That said, I think less than half of our wedding party gave us any kind of gift beyond a card, and none of them gave us anything expensive. I did not expect gifts from any guest period, but some brides might even though that's an inappropriate assumption in spite of the fact that most people do give gifts at weddings. (Wow, that was convoluted, sorry)

southernredandwhite85

I told my bridesmaids not to bring me gifts to the bridal showers or to the wedding. Granted, I know some of them will, but I want them to know that I do not expect it and would prefer if they didn't because I have asked so much of them already.

MuppetFan

I wouldn't expect a gift from anyone. I agree with a heartfelt letter.

manateehugger

Am I the only one who really wants to see a picture of this dress? $370 is really expensive. OP post a picture or a link!

FI and I are both in a wedding in a few weeks. Combined, we've spent $800 to be in the wedding. We decided they get a card and a nice-ish bottle of wine from us. 

misssunshine17

I wouldn't get someone a gift if I spent $370 on a dress. How did you say yes to that!?

ktmeyers92

I have three BMs and originally they were paying for their dresses. I was paying for everything else. I had two girls tell me they couldn't afford their dress (yes I asked for their budget and stayed under it) so I am buying it for them even though its a burden on me. I just want them to be in the wedding and could care less what they give me. I guess it would all depend on the type of bride though.

lringue

I dont expect a gift from my BM they already put money into their dress and hair ect. Plus their time into helping me with favors, keeping the moms at bay lol ect..I couldnt ask for anything more than to have my close family and friends at my side when I get married.

jcrmc

I am not expecting gifts from anyone. I only registered because I know that there will be some people who will WANT to get us a gift, and this way our tastes/needs are known. I didnt include the registration card that The Bay gives you in the invitation. I *did* put it on our wedding website, but when my sister asked me where I was registered so she could let shower guests know, I made it clear to her I did not want them being TOLD, but if they asked, she could let them know. OK back to the topic at hand.

Card, nice note written in it, totally acceptable IMHO.

TheBaysideBride

I agree w/ many of the PPs - I don't expect gifts from my BMs (from anyone, really, but least of all them). And, I haven't given a gift for many of hte weddings I've been in, because after dress and travel adn showers and destination BPs, the money stream was dry!

I think bc i've had to shell out so many times for weddings as a BM, now that I"m a bride I'm almost going overboard in what I'm giving them. In addition to the really nice BM gift, I'm doing a fancy luncheon and paying for hair/makeup. I honestly think i was scarred from all the Bridezillas in my past that I'm overcompensating!!

[Deleted User]

OK, before anyone goes off on me, please read my complete comment. I paid for my girls dresses and jewelry & got them gifts on top of that. They did buy shoes, but that's because they didn't want to wear black which I figured would have been preferred because most women have nice black shoes. And we covered a huge chunk of the guys tuxes (girls were fully covered because we found them on ebay so less expensive then guys) So intially when I opened their cards (or realized a few didn't even get us a card) I was a little hurt. BUT...then I put myself into check abd remembered that they all had spend I'm sure a nice chunk of change for the bridal shower & bachlor party and none of them are rich and that it was more important that they were there for us to share our day with then any gift that they would have given us. I wrote them all thank you cards for gifts (if they gave us one) and more importantly thanking them again for being a special part of our day.  So yes, I did have a bridezilla moment, but got mself into check very fast (less then 5 minutes) and realized what was more important, their attendance.

wrigleyville

I wouldn't expect a gift from anyone, period, regardless if they were a guest, a member of the wedding party, or a parent/sibling. I certainly wouldn't be shocked, hurt, or surprised. I would just be grateful they were able to come and share in our day. Our reception truly is our thank you gift to everyone.

kathrynrf

I was just in a wedding as a BM and my FI and I gave her a nice frame and a card. I had already spent over $600 on the dress/bachelorette weekend/etc. 

AJuliaNJ

I don't expect anything from my bridesmaids. I don't expect anything from anyone. I just want everyone to show up and have a great time.