Hey all. Wondering if I can get some advice so I don't stick my foot in my mouth.
FI has a friend who immigrated from Italy 4 years ago and they've known each other about as long. Let's call him Stefan. FI has had Stefan over to the house several times in the 4 years and every time he's been over, I dislike him more and more and it's starting to show.
The first time Stefan came over, he got settled in on the couch and asked me to make him a sandwich and a drink. I brushed it off that he was new in Canada and probably didn't realize that it's done a little differently over here. It rubbed me the wrong way but I brushed it off.
The next few times, he completely cleaned us out of snacks. Chips, crackers, more sandwiches, old, stale cookies from the Narnia regions of the pantry... I feel like I have to stock up when he comes over. I want to be a good hostess but seriously.
Recently he has gotten more comfortable with other friends and the last few social gatherings we've had, he's made other guests uncomfortable with his very strong opinions and frankly his weird personality. He bums cigarettes off of guests when they are outside and tries to hijacks every party by trying to turn it into a jam session. Sometimes it's not the right crowd, but he nags until he gets his own way.
Lastly, he doesn't know when to call it a night. It will be 1am, FI and I will have dropped several hints that the evening has been lovely but we're very tired and he will be there, munching away on the remnants of whatever snacks have been left out.
I was not so bothered about things like raiding the cupboard or overstaying his welcome, but when I start having guests inquire if Stefan will be there before they RSVP to a dinner or party, I feel I must intervene. Has anyone been in this situation before? Asking FI to speak to him is an option, however he is very uncomfortable with confrontation and always seems to pass off Stefan's behavior as him not knowing any better. We have many foreign national friends. They are not like this.
TL;DR FI has weird Italian friend who is eating us out of house and home, and freaks out our other friends.