Moms and Maids

Best Man drama

corilynn84corilynn84 member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited June 2013 in Moms and Maids
OK so I will try to make this as short as possible and easy to understand:

My soon to be hubby's Best Man recently divorced from a mutual friend. I still keep in contact with her and before the divorce she was invited to the wedding, and still is. They are in the midst of a nasty divorce, and the make matters worse one of the reasons for that is the other woman our BM was cheating on his wife with.....they are now officially a couple. I know what Etiquette states that b/c the BM is now in a "serious" relationship i should invite his new girlfriend, but to be honest I DONT WANT TO. I know it sounds childish but I would prefer the least amount of drama that day. The former wife and the new girlfriend in the same room for hours does not sound like a good idea to me. I will say now that I will not UN-invite my friend, and of-course the Best Man will be at the wedding too.
Both former husband and wife know the other is going and when I sent them the invitation i made sure to only put their names so neither would have the option to bring a +1.
Talking to my fiance he is totally understanding and agrees but doesn't want to get into the middle, and I can understand his side. I just could use some advice from my fellow brides.

Re: Best Man drama

  • I realize you don't want drama but it is not your place to judge or get in the middle of their issues or a new relationship.  I understand your thinking, but these people are adults and should be able to conduct themselves appropriately even if they are around people that they may not care for.  By not inviting the BMs girlfriend you did get into the middle of things.  I suggest you apologize to the BM and tell him that you made a mistake and his GF is invited as well.  As a couple they will decide if she should come and your friend will also decide if she is capable of keeping her cool and just enjoying your day or if it will be too much for her.

  • If you added +1s to other guests invitations, you should have extended the same courtesy to your BM and his ex. Since you've sent the invitations, you could wait and see what happens. If BM adds his girlfriend's name to the RSVP, you should accept it. 


                       
  • You need to invite the GF. Everyone involved is an adult and they should be able to behave as much for one night.


  • I realize you don't want drama but it is not your place to judge or get in the middle of their issues or a new relationship.  I understand your thinking, but these people are adults and should be able to conduct themselves appropriately even if they are around people that they may not care for.  By not inviting the BMs girlfriend you did get into the middle of things.  I suggest you apologize to the BM and tell him that you made a mistake and his GF is invited as well.  As a couple they will decide if she should come and your friend will also decide if she is capable of keeping her cool and just enjoying your day or if it will be too much for her.


    This, 100%

    I completely understand your concerns about it.  I've invited family members that don't get along, and I'm nervous to see who comes and how this all pans out.  It could end very badly.  But I wasn't going to not invite them just because I'm worried about drama.  I like to stick to the "invite in circles" thing, so it would have been rude on my part, especially to family.  Your BM and his girlfriend are a social unit now.  She needs to be invited too.  All you can do is hope that your friends are mature enough to be civil to each other.  Good luck!

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