Wedding Etiquette Forum

PPD bump style

I have recently found out I'm preggo, yay! So I have now split my time between the bump and the knot. I saw this today, and just had to repost! I have politely told her about the knot, so she very well could come and post a question, I hope! The below poster just didn't know any better, I guess, but it is just amazing how many people told her to just go for it!.....

SO and I are very happy together and we have talked about marriage. When we found out we were pregnant, the marriage discussion became more serious. Lately, we have discussed doing a Justice of the Peace and being officially married for many reasons.

My family is super Catholic...like church as often as humanly possible. SO and I go to church, but not regularly (like once or twice a month because he works so often and its hard to find a time we can go).

I announced to my family last night about being pregnant and how excited SO and I are. The first thing my grandmother said was well you aren't married (then later congratulations). Today, we were talking about marriage and I said that we wanted to do something simple, like a Justice of the Peace. My grandmother went as far to offer to pay the cost of getting married in the church. We wanted to have a large wedding down the road (in the Catholic Church) after our Justice of the Peace.

Overall, I would like your opinion on whether having a small personal wedding in our Catholic Church with just family and maybe a few friends would take away from the fact that later down the road we want to have the big wedding (where we would actually have the bridal shower and the reception and everything that goes along with a big to-do wedding).

TIA

Re: PPD bump style

  • She should talk to her priest about her plans. He'll set her straight about pretending to get married after she's already married.
  • You can't have both. Do them all at one time. Have your Catholic wedding now, along with the big dress, parties, cake, reception, yada yada. You can't do a wedding now and a fake wedding later and expect gifts, parties, and PPD then. It's wrong etiquette-wise.

    Yeah.... She's not talking about herself... Maybe a re-read would help a bit
  • Congratulations to you!!! Now all you need to do is buy a house and join the Nest also. :)

    That girl is all kinds of confused. She's on the autobahn to pissing off her family and her church.
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  • AddieL73 said:
    Please also tell her to stop saying "WE'RE pregnant." That makes me stabby. 


    I hate that too!  If I ever get knocked up, I'm going to be all "Who is doing 99% of the work here?  Me?  Yeah, I'M pregnant". 
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary


  • AddieL73 said:

    Please also tell her to stop saying "WE'RE pregnant." That makes me stabby. 



    I hate that too!  If I ever get knocked up, I'm going to be all "Who is doing 99% of the work here?  Me?  Yeah, I'M pregnant". 


    @Pelesdreamsofrain - so does this mean you're pregnant?!!!?? ;)

  • She should talk to her priest about her plans. He'll set her straight about pretending to get married after she's already married.

    I was thinking this too.

    and ditto the "we're pregnant" thing.  I get "we're expecting" b/c (general) you both are.  But only one of you is pregnant.

  • zobird said:
    AddieL73 said:
    Please also tell her to stop saying "WE'RE pregnant." That makes me stabby. 


    I hate that too!  If I ever get knocked up, I'm going to be all "Who is doing 99% of the work here?  Me?  Yeah, I'M pregnant". 
    @Pelesdreamsofrain - so does this mean you're pregnant?!!!?? ;)
    Peles pregnant?
                       
  • That is what the nest is for?  When you own a home?  Bleh.  That sounds tortuous.

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    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

  • zobird said:
    AddieL73 said:
    Please also tell her to stop saying "WE'RE pregnant." That makes me stabby. 


    I hate that too!  If I ever get knocked up, I'm going to be all "Who is doing 99% of the work here?  Me?  Yeah, I'M pregnant". 
    @Pelesdreamsofrain - so does this mean you're pregnant?!!!?? ;)
    Peles pregnant?
    No, but her in-laws are pushing it like crazy, so it's amusing to take any opportunity to comment so she can enjoy the pressure from all around!




    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • @Addie73 - I've seen her amusing commentary on her ILs obsession with the contents of her uterus. It was a bad joke, from me. I hope Pele isn't offended.
                       
  • AddieL73 said:
    Please also tell her to stop saying "WE'RE pregnant." That makes me stabby. 


    I hate that too!  If I ever get knocked up, I'm going to be all "Who is doing 99% of the work here?  Me?  Yeah, I'M pregnant". 
    Pele at that point you are doing 100% of the work incubating. . . DH ain't doing jack at that point!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • The Catholic Church will not grant her a PPD. There are many steps involved in the marriage prep that you can not get married without completing and they will not speed anything up because she is pregnant.  Getting married at JP also means that a Catholic can't participate in the Eucharist each sunday. The most they will do if she gets married at the JP is go through a process to bless and recognize the marriage in the church, and that is not a wedding ceremony. 
  • In TN's OP's defense, the Catholic Church will do convalidations so that marriages that occurred outside the Church, be it at another denomination or civilly, can be recognized by the Catholic Church.  There are some hoops to jump through, though. Typically, they don't have all the trappings of a big wedding but they happen.
    True, but usually you have to show a good reason why you didn't get married in the church the first time around.  Priests typically won't do a convalidation "just because."  They are usually reserved for couples who had fallen away from their faith when they were married outside of the church but now wish to come back into communion with the church.  So you are absolutely right that there are hoops to jump through.  And they definitely don't usually have the traditional wedding trappings.

    This woman should really talk to her priest before planning anything.  It's also possible that the priest may refuse to marry them now if they plan on having a PPD later as this would give some indication that they aren't taking the marriage preparation for the church wedding seriously.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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