new outfit for wedding or bigger gift?

golden1215

I'm going to a very fancy wedding for a HS friend this weekend (we're talking $150+ event with all the bells and whistles). I have an appropriate LBD to wear but DH, who is the superintendent of a golf course and just never has a need for a full suit, only has slacks/pants/tie outfit. I told him we need to buy a suit for the wedding, to which he complained and said it was silly (I think it's silly for a grown man to now own a suit but... c'est la vie). Looking at prices now, it is a good $200+ for a suit. So, do I semi-embarrass ourselves by having him go in what he owns and give a larger cash gift OR buy him a suit and give a smaller amount?

I realize the bride will never know the difference in gift size, but just wondering what you ladies think. We can't afford full new suit + larger gift so it's either or....

golden1215

and by $150 event I meant $150k :-)

harper0813

Buy the suit. Try Kohls or JC Penney. Joseph A Bank also recently had a nice sale going on...

golden1215

zobird said:

Buy the suit. Try Kohls or JC Penney. Joseph A Bank also recently had a nice sale going on...

That's where I'm seeing the $200 ones... :-/

AddieCake

Definitely buy the suit. 

MsYeck

Ask your friends and family ( or a local FB copon page) somebody probably just got a 30% thing fom Kohls. We just got one in the mail yesterday.

tammym1001

He will be glad in the future that he has a suit for other weddings, funerals, etc. so I would definitely buy the suit.

itzMS

Buy the suit. DH wasn't a "suit man", either. But he realized that showing up to weddings and other events in a shirt and tie wasn't cutting it anymore.

He got a buy-one-get-one deal at Men's Wearhouse.

golden1215

okay then as a follow up- can we just buy him a coat? If his pants are black and we buy a new black coat, I'm just worried the blacks won't match...

 

southernbelle0915

Invest in a suit. He can use it again for weddings, interviews, etc. Macy's often has good sales and the sales people in the men's dept can negotiate (we got an awesome deal on FI's tux). If $200 is too much, check out consignment.

ETA: If you plan to spend money, spend the extra money to get matching pants (the jacket is the most expensive piece anyway) - if he wants to look nice, a mismatched suit isn't the way to go. You'd be better off borrowing or getting something used that matches.

itzMS

golden1215 said:

okay then as a follow up- can we just buy him a coat? If his pants are black and we buy a new black coat, I'm just worried the blacks won't match...

 

Does he have a similar sized friend or brother he can borrow from for just this weekend? Then keep an eye out for sales (Father's Day sale would've probably been a good time to buy, in retrospect). Like I said, the buy one, get one sale was awesome for DH. He got two Calvin Klein suits custom tailored for $250.

Wearing a mismatched coat and pants reminds me a bit too much of the guys from back in the day at my high school homecoming dances.

golden1215

itzMS said:

golden1215 said:

okay then as a follow up- can we just buy him a coat? If his pants are black and we buy a new black coat, I'm just worried the blacks won't match...

 

Does he have a similar sized friend or brother he can borrow from for just this weekend? Then keep an eye out for sales (Father's Day sale would've probably been a good time to buy, in retrospect). Like I said, the buy one, get one sale was awesome for DH. He got two Calvin Klein suits custom tailored for $250.

Wearing a mismatched coat and pants reminds me a bit too much of the guys from back in the day at my high school homecoming dances.

ha, it seems silly to me too, but no- he doesn't have any similarily built friends :-P

libby2483

I would just buy the suit.  

erinlin25

definitely agree to invest in the suit.  My now husband did not have one either and we got away with it for other weddings that he was able to pass with the slacks, nice shirt and tie.  When his grandfather passed away we opted to invest in a suit-- we were going to get one for him at a department store, but his brothers talked him into getting a nice one fit to him at Men's Wearhouse.  They did a buy one get one free deal and his brother got a new one too so they split the cost.  My husband has already used it 3x in the last 9 months (and he typically would rarely ever have to wear a suit). Worth every penny.  yes it cost more, but its something he will use and I agree its good to at least have one good suit.

your friend will get a gift either way--and you may find a great sale for one of their registry items, so its a win-win

   

Blue & White

I would likely get the suit, but do you know anyone else going to the wedding?  I ask because in my circles in FL, no one would ever wear a suit jacket to a wedding whereas my friends in NJ wouldn't step foot at a wedding without a suit jacket. From your description, though, it sounds like a suit is in order. 

golden1215

scribe95 said:

I say buy him a suit. Men's Wearhouse etc. are always having sales.

On the second part of the question though, I don't think the couple's gift size should go down because your hubby doesn't have a proper suit. That's a little rude to me. If you normally give $50 for a wedding gift, or whatever, I don't think that should change.

we don't have a set amount, with each wedding it depends on a number of things (how well we know the couple, how far we may have had to travel for the wedding, any previous shower gifts we may have already given and that ever important *how much we have to give* part).  With this friend, she's a great HS friend, we have no travel costs and I didn't have to buy a shower gift- so I was planning on giving at least a few hundred bucks. I suppose if cutting back on her gift some to buy DH a suit (which is what we'd have to do, can't make money appear out of thin air) makes me rude then so be it. 

msuprincess04

Marshalls and TJMaxx has some good ones too.

OliveOilsMom

Try K&G Warehouse.  They are having a sale on suit separates right now. 

Clicky

SB1512

scribe95 said:

I say buy him a suit. Men's Wearhouse etc. are always having sales.

On the second part of the question though, I don't think the couple's gift size should go down because your hubby doesn't have a proper suit. That's a little rude to me. If you normally give $50 for a wedding gift, or whatever, I don't think that should change.

I don't think cutting back on a gift to buy a suit makes them rude.  Unless you have gobs of money floating around, most people have to budget, and if a suit is needed, it's a cost associated with this wedding and I see nothing wrong with adjusting the gift because they have to shell out money for it. 

Kate61487

SB1512 said:

scribe95 said:

I say buy him a suit. Men's Wearhouse etc. are always having sales.

On the second part of the question though, I don't think the couple's gift size should go down because your hubby doesn't have a proper suit. That's a little rude to me. If you normally give $50 for a wedding gift, or whatever, I don't think that should change.

I don't think cutting back on a gift to buy a suit makes them rude.  Unless you have gobs of money floating around, most people have to budget, and if a suit is needed, it's a cost associated with this wedding and I see nothing wrong with adjusting the gift because they have to shell out money for it. 

Agree - even if the cost wasn't associated with the wedding (i.e. new suit for an interview, or car issues, whatever) it's fine to cut the gift back if your budget is needed elsewhere. 

kathrynrf

I don't know if you have a Savers or Goodwill near you, but you can find some very nice suits there. My brother was in a situation like that once. He never bought a full suit because he has never had a reason to have one, and didn't want to spend a lot of money on one. He went to Savers and got a great suit for about 45 dollars. It had a little tear on it, and needed to be hemmed a little. Our local seamstress did it for like dirt cheap. Then he looked it up online, and the suit he bought generally runs for about $600 dollars!

The only reason I would recommend going used is because it doesn't sound like he needs to wear a suit very often so it wouldn't make too much sense to spend 200 on something he might only wear that one time. 

kathrynrf

Also, cutting back on the gift size does not make you rude. You can only give what you can afford, and unfortunately, if you have to buy a suit, you have to buy a suit. You're friend would never know the difference, ad if you two are great friends and she did know the difference (for some reason) I don't think she would mind. 

If you really do not want to give less though, even after buying a suit, you can give the gift after the wedding. My understanding is ideally you would want to give a gift within two months of the wedding, but you have a year. 

winelover123

Goodwill or a thrift store can have nice suits. If you have time, check them out before going to a department store. My FI is a suit man and we got him his suits for 70% off at Joseph A Bank.

CallaLily25

Another vote to buy the suit!

linnyv27

Yes, buy the suit. The past couple of days we've been shopping for FI's wedding suit and saw many sales at places like Joseph A Bank, Burlington Coat Factory and Macy's.

He really liked a suit at Macy's but it was out of our budget. After looking online, we found the same suit on the Macy's website at 60% off but his size wasn't available online. The suit was full price at the store but they were glad to price match the online price. We used a 25% off coupon we found online on top of that. Total was $111 for a brand new suit and all he has to do is get the sleeves shortened and pants hemmed.

So price shop online and look for coupons (Macy's has the 25% off coupon until the 23rd but then another one of 25% starts that day).

Xstatic3333

Wow, a few hundred is very generous! I think if you need to slightly reduce that amount it would be fine.

coolwhipz1

Buy the suit. He will need it in the future anyways.

 

golden1215

thanks for the input ladies- we got a super sexy (IMO) dark grey suit for $200 after sales and a coupon!

mmmm men in suits

[Deleted User]

Buy a suit

SewInLoveWithDMB

I say buy the suit. It was the couples' choice to host an expensive event - not yours. You give what you can afford. 

I sorta see this the same as having to stay over at a hotel after a wedding. You have $x amount budgeted for entertainment and weddings. If some of that gets eaten up by incidentals (travel, hotel, clothing) you shouldn't be forced to spend more and hurt yourself financially.