invite addressing question

hardlyhannah

Okay, I am trying to figure out how to write the names for our invite addresses. Here are the possibilities I can think of - is there one that is more/most correct, or is it fluid and I can use any?

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith vs Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith vs. John and Jane Smith

Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe vs. John Smith and Jane Doe

If I am inviting kids the plan is to just write 'and family" after the adults names.

HELP!

SewInLoveWithDMB

I'm going to have a disclaimer and say that this is what I did, although I am not 100% sure in all cases that it is correct - and in others know it is FLAT OUT WRONG. But, our wedding, our guets, and we're ok with it. We know the people in question under these little umbrellas will be too.

Married: 

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Married, girl did not change name: 

Mr. John Smith

Ms. Sally Test 

Pastor:

The Reverend and Mrs. John Smith

Dr:

Dr. and Mrs. John Smith

Two Drs. (Haven't done this one yet - but I know it's coming:

Drs. John and Marie Smith

(AND I JUST REALIZED A FRIEND JUST GOT HER PHD AND I LISTED HER AS MISS. !@#*$)

Two parents, two or more children:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family

Two parents, one child (female):

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Miss Aliza Smith

Two parents, one child (male):

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Master Robert Smith

Ok - my situation. A family, with adult children (over 18). They live at home. Some are in relationships, some are not. I am opening a can of worms here, and it's a-ok with me:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family

(They can decide which children get dates and which do not. Again, I understand each adult child should get their own invite. I know that I am doing this incorrectly. However, I am close enough to the families that they can either all invite dates, or have none invite dates. I have no problem talking to the adult children and asking if they are dating anyone. Or, their parents can decide which of the children are in serious relationships (for example, one is 21, in college, living at home. Should she get a +1? Maybe. Maybe not.) I find the words "and Guest" really offensive - and that is totally my feelings and I'm sure no one else agrees. Either the person exists and has a name or does not exist and does not need to be included. No one is traveling and would need a date so to not travel alone. No one knows no one else at the function and needs a date so they don't sit alone. This might bite me in the butt - all adult children might bring dates. And I'm fine with that. Their call.

Dating couples  (I think it is correct to do this alphabetical, but in some cases, it was my friend and her boyfriend/fiance, not living together, being sent to her parents' home. I did not want to send a separate invite to the FI/boyfriend which I know is correct, so I put girl on the top line (cause it is her original/childhood address), and then the guy on the second)

Miss Mary Smith

Mr. John Anderson

Widows or women who never married: (I know these women do not have dates and know enough people in attendance. It would embarrass me (and them!) greatly to write "and Guest" next to their names.)

Ms. Mary Smith   

or

Mrs. Mary Smith

I have a Mayor as well with a guest - 

The Honorable John Smith and Ms. Mary Anderson

And, awful of all awfuls - there are some guests who solely go by nicknames. They are horrified by their given names. Guess what's going on the invite? The nickname. I'm going to etiquette hell. Honestly, I know that both in question would give me a hard time ("Why'd you put my full name? My license and passport don't even have my full name!"). One is initials AND he shortened his last name to a "different" name (but possibly not legally? I don't even know and even though I've known him for 14 years, don't honestly know how to spell the real, original last name. I have an idea of consonants and vowels and a good order, but not 100%!)

So, nicknames:

Miss Mary Smith

Mr. AJ Anders    (get it? - I turned Anderson into Anders)

Another odd situation. Parents with adult daughter who lives at home and is (apparently?) engaged. We (my mom, my sister, myself) have NEVER met her FI. She does not have his name on Facebook, and she is not listed as "engaged" either. We know her well enough to invite them to the wedding, but not "Hey! You're engaged? Who is this person, we've never met him. Does he have a name??") This is the only time I will EVER condone an engaged couple being listed as a name "and Guest."

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Miss Annabelle Smith and Guest

For apartments (on same line...again, don't know real answer, but I know this has arrived to them in the past):

125 Fifth Avenue, Suite 12D

New York, New York 

10001

soccerharry

I read that for couples not engaged but living together/established the girl goes first, and that's how I was invited to an extremely formal wedding. 

I need to figure out what to do with a groomsman who literally just started dating someone two days ago, I guess put her name?