I need help with writing my ceremony (feminist issue).

MonsterNessa

Hello! I could use some help. I have a family member conducting my ceremony (totally legit in the state of Colorado) and have ended up writing the majority of it myself. I have been able to use the internet to answer most of the problems I have run into but I am at the very end of my first draft and have run into a problem: the ending of the ceremony.

Typically at the end of the ceremony the officiate says something along the lines of "it is my pleasure to present to you Mr. and Mrs. *insert grooms name*". However, the die hard feminist in me resents using these words to end my ceremony. In fact, I'm hyphenating my last name, and I only agreed to do that much so it would match the last name of our potential future children. Hubby has no preference as far as including this ending for our ceremony, but not alternate ideas either.

So, does anyone else have ideas for something else that can be said at the end of the ceremony? I'm stumped!

QueerFemme

MonsterNessa said:

Hello! I could use some help. I have a family member conducting my ceremony (totally legit in the state of Colorado) and have ended up writing the majority of it myself. I have been able to use the internet to answer most of the problems I have run into but I am at the very end of my first draft and have run into a problem: the ending of the ceremony.

Typically at the end of the ceremony the officiate says something along the lines of "it is my pleasure to present to you Mr. and Mrs. *insert grooms name*". However, the die hard feminist in me resents using these words to end my ceremony. In fact, I'm hyphenating my last name, and I only agreed to do that much so it would match the last name of our potential future children. Hubby has no preference as far as including this ending for our ceremony, but not alternate ideas either.

So, does anyone else have ideas for something else that can be said at the end of the ceremony? I'm stumped!

We did "it is my pleasure to present to you [my first name] and [my partner's first name] [new last name]"

You could it is my pleasure to present to you Nessa and Nessa'sHusband LastName!"   You don't have to use the hyphen in the announcement.

 

daria24

We skipped this part. You could do "it is my pleasure to introduce to you, for the first time as a married couple, Tom and Mary." And don't me ruin the last name.

MonsterNessa

Thank you both SO much! I have been working on this for 3 hours and my brain is fried! I've got it now.

readingrrl

Thanks for the thread! I've been stuck on it for the same reason. I think the first names deal is a good solution.

QueerFemme

By the way, we also made sure that our officiant (who was a friend) didn't give us "permission" to kiss.   Most ceremonies say something like "and now, you may kiss the bride".  I did NOT want someone giving my partner permission to kiss me.  That is my permission to give.

So, after the "announcement" of us, we kissed voluntarily then and then walked back down the aisle together.

daria24

Ha I was the one who said to my H "you may now kiss your bride."

Ophelia0326

Whew, I'm not the only one! Thanks for the ideas, ladies! I also have issues with "Who gives this woman to be wed?" (where the FOB would say "her mother and I do") Um...no. I do! I have seen instead "Who blesses this marriage?" and both sets of parents answer "We do".

daria24

CMGr said:

Are you SURE your family member can conduct the ceremony?  I am from Colorado, and I copied this from the colorado.gov website:

The marriage ceremony may be performed by

• a judge
• a retired judge
• a magistrate
• any public official authorized to perform marriages
• any person recognized as authorized to perform marriages by
  • any religious denomination
  • any Indian nation
  • any Indian tribe
• the people getting married

  Note: Friends or relatives may only perform the ceremony if they are in the list above.

If she's self-uniting, her family member can "conduct" the ceremony, the couple just needs to declare themselves married at the end. 

piercek613

I'm just going with "may I present to you Mr and MRS (emphasis on the Mrs) LastNameHere." They don't have to mention the hyphen. I also am having it changed to "I now pronounce you husband and wife" instead of "man and wife", because to me that implies that he wasn't a man before and I'm just an addition. My uncle, who is a catholic priest, is doing our ceremony and he already told me he is going to say "now hurry up and kiss so we can party!" (not my idea, but we like it). We just want the ceremony to feel like "us" instead of stiff and formal.