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Son in the Wedding

mnattimnatti
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
My 7 year old son will be our ring bearer at our wedding. My soon to be husband has taken my son under his wings & been amazing to him. I want to do something special for my son to make him feel like he is part of the ceremony also. An example; if it's a little girl the groom can also give the little girl a ring as a special gift. I want my son to feel special too, any ideas what to do for a boy?
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Re: Son in the Wedding

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2013
    Just being a ring bearer is special and is part of the ceremony.

    Most of us Knotties tend not to find "including" children in weddings beyond flower girl/ring bearer, reader, or bridesmaid/groomsman to be necessary or really appropriate, since the wedding ceremony is ultimately between the bride and groom only. 

    If you want to give gifts to your children, do that separately from the ceremony and not during the ceremony.

    And above all, make sure that your children (and their other parents if they're in the picture) are okay with their being "included."    If they're not, then DON'T DO IT.  RetreadBride, another poster here, often mentions being at a wedding where the couple pressured their unwilling children to come up and say "vows" and it was really uncomfortable for the guests as well as the children.
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    No. No, no, no, no, no.

    Your FI is marrying you -- not your son. Your son didn't choose your FI, didn't say yes to your FI, isn't marrying your FI.

    I'm very glad for him that your FI has taken your son under his wing and that they're close, but he will feel special just being up there with you.

    Also, the idea of a little girl getting a wedding ring from her soon-to-be stepfather is a little unnerving.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    Yeah, I agree with the PP's. Your son is not getting married or making a lifelong commitment, you and your fiancé are.

    I think having him as Ring Bearer is very sweet.
    Get some awesome pictures with the three of you. Maybe you could get ice cream the night before the wedding or have a movie night - something simple but meaningful to you as a future family.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'm confused. You said your son is the ring bearer, and then you say you want to find something to do for him to be part of the ceremony. He's part of the ceremony by being the ring bearer. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    itzMSitzMS member
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    mnatti said:
    My 7 year old son will be our ring bearer at our wedding. My soon to be husband has taken my son under his wings & been amazing to him. I want to do something special for my son to make him feel like he is part of the ceremony also. An example; if it's a little girl the groom can also give the little girl a ring as a special gift. I want my son to feel special too, any ideas what to do for a boy?

    I wouldn't do anything during the ceremony. It's not appropriate for kids to be involved. Here's some general ideas that could make your son feel super special around the time of the wedding.

    1. FI could get him a nice leatherbound Bible (if you're religious) and write an enscription in it and/or highlight a favorite passage. You could do this with a nice edition of a classic book, too.

    2. FI could take DS gokarting or lazertagging or hiking or fishing or indoor rock climbing or to a theme park for some "guys time" a day or so before the wedding

    3. FI could take DS shopping to buy some items he'd like (new baseball supplies? new legos? new books? new clothes?)

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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    @itMZ has fantastic suggestions.
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    mnattimnatti
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    Thank you! Those are some great ideas! I feel like a lot of the little things I'm over thinking! 3 months left! Wish me luck!
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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    No worries. Almost all of us over think. I literally spent 20 minutes picking between two different types of cream roses. Sigh.

    Good luck!
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    daisey18daisey18 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

     If your sons bio father has NO connection to him whatsoever, and your FI is planning on legally adopting your son once you are married, then I would disagree with the PP's and say that yes, you maybe should add something more for your sons benefit. A mention during his vows of your FI's joy over not only finding a wonderful wife, but also a wonderful son, for example. A "family" sand pour /unity candle thingy maybe. Or you could have a lovely family party to celebrate the adoption once it's official.

     But if your kid already has a dad, and there is not going to be an adoption- then yeah, ring bearer is plenty awesome!

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    lerowebleroweb member
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    I agree with daisey my son has not father in his life. This is the only man that has been there so I plan on doing a family type of mention thing during the ceremony
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    PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
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    edited August 2013
    Post removed due to GBCK

    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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