Wedding Party

Including friends w/o having bridesmaids

I noticed there seemed to be a general feeling against "honorary bridesmaids," particularly if they're asked to wear a particular dress, but I'm hoping I can throw out a variation for feedback? For a lot of reasons, my fiancé and I only want my sister (moh) and his father (bm) up at the altar (My church severely limits the attendants we can have up there, my three best friends are expecting children in the months before the wedding, my fiancé had been married before and I think wants it to seem different...etc.) But I still want the feeling of bridesmaids to get ready with that day. Can I invite 10 friends to be "bridesmaids" or "honorary bridesmaids" of some sort and all wear black dresses of their choosing but not stand up at the altar? I want the new moms to feel as little or as much commitment as they choose, just depending on how they're feeling close to the time of the wedding, but I still want my girls with me!

Re: Including friends w/o having bridesmaids

  • I agree with Retread. Reader, bridesmaid, or guest are the only options, and bridesmaids do not have to stand at the altar. They can walk down the aisle and be in pictures.
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  • daisi224 said:
    I noticed there seemed to be a general feeling against "honorary bridesmaids," particularly if they're asked to wear a particular dress, but I'm hoping I can throw out a variation for feedback? For a lot of reasons, my fiancé and I only want my sister (moh) and his father (bm) up at the altar (My church severely limits the attendants we can have up there, my three best friends are expecting children in the months before the wedding, my fiancé had been married before and I think wants it to seem different...etc.) But I still want the feeling of bridesmaids to get ready with that day. Can I invite 10 friends to be "bridesmaids" or "honorary bridesmaids" of some sort and all wear black dresses of their choosing but not stand up at the altar? I want the new moms to feel as little or as much commitment as they choose, just depending on how they're feeling close to the time of the wedding, but I still want my girls with me!
    Can't they just be bridesmaids anyway? Your bridesmaids don't HAVE to stand up at the altar with you to be bridesmaids. 

    Otherwise, absolutely do not dictate their attire/activities. That's not an honor - that's being unnecessarily bossed around. They can be guests - that is an honor. 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2013
    If you want them to be bridesmaids, let them be bridesmaids. Like PP's said, they don't have to stand. 



    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • The other alternative, if the church won't let them process in, is to just get ready with them anyway. There is no rule that forbids you from getting ready with whomever you please.

    I think asking them to wear a specific color dress is stupid. I wouldn't feel honored or special if someone requested I wear a certain color to their wedding. I'd feel annoyed because I like to pick out my own clothes.

    Exactly. My brother officiated our ceremony and DH's brother stood up with him with the rings, but we didn't have traditional attendants. However, my three best friends from college came with me to get my hair done and, as luck would have it, I saw them out the window as they were arriving for the ceremony, flagged them down, and they were able to come up and help me get my dress/veil on, etc. If I were you, I'd just tell your friends how much they mean to you and that you'd love it if they would be there with you when you get ready - if they're able - but I wouldn't insist on them wearing anything special.
    Anniversary
  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    The other alternative, if the church won't let them process in, is to just get ready with them anyway. There is no rule that forbids you from getting ready with whomever you please.

    I think asking them to wear a specific color dress is stupid. I wouldn't feel honored or special if someone requested I wear a certain color to their wedding. I'd feel annoyed because I like to pick out my own clothes.

    Exactly. My brother officiated our ceremony and DH's brother stood up with him with the rings, but we didn't have traditional attendants. However, my three best friends from college came with me to get my hair done and, as luck would have it, I saw them out the window as they were arriving for the ceremony, flagged them down, and they were able to come up and help me get my dress/veil on, etc. If I were you, I'd just tell your friends how much they mean to you and that you'd love it if they would be there with you when you get ready - if they're able - but I wouldn't insist on them wearing anything special.

    The key here, OP, is if they're able. Don't think less of anyone if they're not able to or not comfortable with spending the whole morning getting ready with you.


     

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