Wedding Party

MIL wants to add to the wedding party last min.

Over a year ago, I asked my fiance's half brother and sister if they wanted to be in the wedding party and both said no. My FMIL just called and said that she wants them both in the wedding party now, and she doesn't care what they do, she just wants them in. I have 2 months till I get married. I'm not sure if they will have enough time to get the dress and suit to be a BM/GM. What other rolls can they fill to be part of the wedding ceremony? Side note: they are 18 and 20 years old so I think ring bearer and flower girl are out..

Re: MIL wants to add to the wedding party last min.

  • No one gets to decide who is in your wedding party but you and your FI. Firmly tell her that you decided on your wedding party long ago, and change the topic if she brings it up again. 

    Please don't make up a role for them, however. Really the only honors are wedding party or reader. Could you let them be readers just to shut her up (if you don't want them to be readers - I think it's well within your rights to say no)? If not, just let them be guests. Seat them in the front rows of the ceremony, consider getting them flowers, and be sure to get good family pictures with them. 

    What is your FI saying about all of this? He really should be the one to deal with this. 
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  • phiraphira member
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    "I'm sorry, [mother-in-law]. I did ask them to be in the wedding party, and they said no."

    If your fiance wants to add them to his side, he's welcome to, but he should be the one his mom is calling.

    You can add readings during the ceremony to include more people (this is how my sister-in-law included her step-parents). But you asked your fiance's half-sibs to be in the wedding party and they said no. Either they changed their mind and are complaining about it to their mother, or she's just being super pushy.
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  • phira said:
    "I'm sorry, [mother-in-law]. I did ask them to be in the wedding party, and they said no."

    If your fiance wants to add them to his side, he's welcome to, but he should be the one his mom is calling.

    You can add readings during the ceremony to include more people (this is how my sister-in-law included her step-parents). But you asked your fiance's half-sibs to be in the wedding party and they said no. Either they changed their mind and are complaining about it to their mother, or she's just being super pushy.
    I agree with this too. If they don't want to do anything, just tell her to take it up with her kids, not you. 
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  • ditto phira.

    If you want to include them, you could ask them to be ushers. Get them corsage and bout. They can wear whatever they like for that. 
                       
  • another vote for saying "no".  If you REALLLLLLY want to accomodate her. Have them wear a nice outfit and hand out programs or be ushers.  But, really, that's a shit job that no one wants.
  • broyanm said:
    Over a year ago, I asked my fiance's half brother and sister if they wanted to be in the wedding party and both said no. My FMIL just called and said that she wants them both in the wedding party now, and she doesn't care what they do, she just wants them in. I have 2 months till I get married. I'm not sure if they will have enough time to get the dress and suit to be a BM/GM. What other rolls can they fill to be part of the wedding ceremony? Side note: they are 18 and 20 years old so I think ring bearer and flower girl are out..
    Why isn't your FI dealing with his mother?
  • This gets a big ol' WTF from me. 

    Your fiance should be handling this, she should not be trying to tell you who to have in your wedding party, and the two people in question have already declined to be in the wedding, so this is a non-issue. 




    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • "FMIL, I did ask them already and they declined.  The subject is now closed."
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