Escort Cards- unmarried couples

jbouchard10132012

For our escort cards I'm going to write "Mr & Mrs "First Male Name" "Last Name"- However, for couples that aren't married I am confused on what to do... 

I was thinking you put the name of the person that is being invited then the second name is their guest's name but a lot of our friends are dating each other so I don't know who to put first or what last name to alphabetize the escort cards... 

If we did a general rule of Female First Male second and alphabetized by the female last name for those guests of where we majorly know only the guy and not really his girlfriend I don't feel comfortable putting the girlfriend first.... HELP! I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by thinking oh I'm only invited as this persons date. 

itzMS

jbouchard10132012 said:

For our escort cards I'm going to write "Mr & Mrs "First Male Name" "Last Name"- However, for couples that aren't married I am confused on what to do... 

I was thinking you put the name of the person that is being invited then the second name is their guest's name but a lot of our friends are dating each other so I don't know who to put first or what last name to alphabetize the escort cards... 

If we did a general rule of Female First Male second and alphabetized by the female last name for those guests of where we majorly know only the guy and not really his girlfriend I don't feel comfortable putting the girlfriend first.... HELP! I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by thinking oh I'm only invited as this persons date. 

I think you're overthinking this. Unless you have a million guests, they'll find their placecard easily either way. I honestly don't know anyone who would care one way or the other.

Mr Andrew Thompson and Ms Sally Jones

Ms Sally Jones and Mr Andrew Thompson

jbouchard10132012

We haven't gotten our RSVP's back yet- but I'm expecting ~170 guests- I also thought that perhaps I was just over thinking it (which I tend to do)..Thanks  

alithebride

pam and sam jones

sam and pam jones

sam jones and pam martin

pam martin and sam jones

either is fine. no one will care. they will find the card and go to the table.

MandyMost

Not all married couples change their names. As someone who values my own identity, I would be extremely offended to see myself written as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith", for example. You should address your guests by the names they use...if a woman doesn't call herself "Mrs. John Smith" then you shouldn't either. Honestly, I personally cringe at the thought that by getting married I lose any semblance of my own verbal/written identity. 

SKPM

Ditto PP with regard to married couples who don't necessarily use the same name. I kept my name after marriage and am irritated and offended to see "Mr. and Mrs. HusbandFirst Last" on an escort card for the two of us. (It's happened.)

As a general rule, I would tend to address the escort cards the same way I addressed invitations.

Married with same last name-- Mr. and Mrs. HisFirst HisLast

Married with different last name-- Ms. First Last and Mr. First Last

Dating (obviously different last name)-- Ms. First Last and Mr. First Last [on invitations, these should be written on separate lines without "and", but I would probably do one line for escort cards]

Single and invited with "and guest"-- Ms./Mr. First Last and guest [unless you know the guest's name, in which case you should use that]

To keep consistency, I would do the women's names first for any heterosexual couples with different names, and alphabetize by that.