Honorary Bridesmaids

medin80

Okay...so I actually was thinking about doing this.  Then saw many posts on this site regarding an honorary bridesmaid, and thought that this might really work for me.  I haven't found any post where the bride is in a similar situation to me, so here's my idea.  

My matron of honor recently "defriended" me, and said that she not only can't be in my wedding, but that we can't be friends anymore.  This left me to choose my brother as my man of honor.  I wasn't having any bridesmaids at all, and still don't want any bridesmaids.  My fiance and I are having one person stand for each of us.  Now as I am getting closer to my wedding day, I am beginning to feel that I want some girls to be there for me, both emotionally and physically.  So my idea is to ask a few of my closest friends to be honorary bridesmaids where they will simply come early to the wedding to get ready with me and be behind the scenes.  They will not wear special outfits, walk down the aisle, or stand at the front with me.  I will, however, treat them out to lunch the day after the wedding to thank them for their friendships and time.  

What do you think? 

Peledreamsofrain

Liatris2010 said:

medin80 said:

Okay...so I actually was thinking about doing this.  Then saw many posts on this site regarding an honorary bridesmaid, and thought that this might really work for me.  I haven't found any post where the bride is in a similar situation to me, so here's my idea.  

My matron of honor recently "defriended" me, and said that she not only can't be in my wedding, but that we can't be friends anymore.  This left me to choose my brother as my man of honor.  I wasn't having any bridesmaids at all, and still don't want any bridesmaids.  My fiance and I are having one person stand for each of us.  Now as I am getting closer to my wedding day, I am beginning to feel that I want some girls to be there for me, both emotionally and physically.  So my idea is to ask a few of my closest friends to be honorary bridesmaids where they will simply come early to the wedding to get ready with me and be behind the scenes.  They will not wear special outfits, walk down the aisle, or stand at the front with me.  I will, however, treat them out to lunch the day after the wedding to thank them for their friendships and time.  

What do you think? 

I think your plan is fine, except for the part where you call them honorary bridesmaids. Don't give them a made-up title, just invite them to get ready with you and have lunch.


Ditto. They don't need a title that sounds like a pity prize to get ready wih you or go out for a special treat. I had a friend who did exactly what you are talking about, no title necessary.

medin80

Thanks for your idea!

bunni727

If you want to do something a little extra (what you have planned is fine without the title) you could always give them corsages.

MyNameIsNot

Honorary bridesmaid means she's dead or deployed.  It doesn't mean someone you decided not to ask to be a BM (for whatever reason).

Asking them to join you to get ready, join you for a "thank you for being a friend" lunch and maybe wear a corsage is a great way to honor these girls without inviting them to stand up as BMs.  You could also consider other roles in the ceremony, like reader, singer (if they can), or a religious part. Don't worry about a title.  Their title is friend.   

aurianna

So in college there were four of us who were best friends. We lived together for the first three years until two of them moved into their sorority house together senior year.
One of the friends got engaged and her BMs were her two sisters, her SIL, and her sorority sister.

But even though we weren't BMs, she still invited me and our friend to stay in the B&B with her the night before the wedding if we wanted to (I ended up having to check into a motel at midnight where a guy was walking around in the parking lot in his underwear, but that's a different story) and to get ready with her beforehand (pedicures, hair and getting ready).

We weren't bridesmaids, but we had a ton of fun getting to spend the day with her as friends. Her SIL did not spend the day with us, but it's not a BM requirement. It was a friend thing and it was awesome.

The bride gave us both corsages. She also paid for us to have our hair done with the bridal party which was a total surprise and tons of fun.

So I bet some of your friends would enjoy spending the day with you! (though I'm not sure what kind of physical support you need. I wouldn't ask them to do any sort of chores/work unless they offer).

It would be sweet to give them a corsage or a special treat, but you really do not need to put anything in the program. I don't think they will be expecting it.