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Umm, what?

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Re: Umm, what?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    While I'm really glad that you understand now it's right to invite the GF, pushing this response onto your parents sounds like you know your mom still wont invite the GF but now you wont be held responsible for it.  =\  I hope that doesn't happen.
    I agree with this. Your mom isn't going to invite the other people, I bet. 


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  • MissMollyMissMolly
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    edited June 2013
    While I'm really glad that you understand now it's right to invite the GF, pushing this response onto your parents sounds like you know your mom still wont invite the GF but now you wont be held responsible for it.  =\  I hope that doesn't happen.

    Actually Moonlight, I've never had an issue with inviting the girlfriend. This is my Mom's thing, and when she handed me her invitee list, I didn't question it. ETA: and, I shouldn't be held responsible for it. He is my parents' guest.
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  • MissMollyMissMolly
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    edited July 2013
    Update: Mom called the man, chatted for awhile, then mentioned that we were looking forward to seeing the 5 of them. She then asked who the 5th person was, and alas, it is the GF's kid (her son). Apparently, our family friend then started acting a little "off", and said that it would just be the 3 of them at the wedding. The GF and her son would come along on the trip, but could stay at the hotel. So, not sure what's up with that, or them, but it sounds like that was his final decision.

    ETA: sorry for posting this topic to begin with, and I apologize that I'm quite stupid and don't know the rules of wedding invitations.
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  • edited August 2013
    Post removed due to GBCK
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs
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    Update: Mom called the man, chatted for awhile, then mentioned that we were looking forward to seeing the 5 of them. She then asked who the 5th person was, and alas, it is the GF's kid (her son). Apparently, our family friend then started acting a little "off", and said that it would just be the 3 of them at the wedding. The GF and her son would come along on the trip, but could stay at the hotel. So, not sure what's up with that, or them, but it sounds like that was his final decision.

    ETA: sorry for posting this topic to begin with, and I apologize that I'm quite stupid and don't know the rules of wedding invitations.
    OMFG stop with the passive aggressive shit.  It's old and tired.

    The guest acted that way because your mom probably made it clear by her tone and wording choice that while all 5 will be invited, they are not actually welcome.

    BTW have you worked out the shit with your lazy and most likely emotionally abusive FI?  Because if you just called off the wedding you could save yourself this frustration, as well as a whole bunch of other frustrations.

    wow. That was a little uncalled for.
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    mariakhristine
  • Update: Mom called the man, chatted for awhile, then mentioned that we were looking forward to seeing the 5 of them. She then asked who the 5th person was, and alas, it is the GF's kid (her son). Apparently, our family friend then started acting a little "off", and said that it would just be the 3 of them at the wedding. The GF and her son would come along on the trip, but could stay at the hotel. So, not sure what's up with that, or them, but it sounds like that was his final decision.

    ETA: sorry for posting this topic to begin with, and I apologize that I'm quite stupid and don't know the rules of wedding invitations.
    OMFG stop with the passive aggressive shit.  It's old and tired.

    The guest acted that way because your mom probably made it clear by her tone and wording choice that while all 5 will be invited, they are not actually welcome.

    BTW have you worked out the shit with your lazy and most likely emotionally abusive FI?  Because if you just called off the wedding you could save yourself this frustration, as well as a whole bunch of other frustrations.
    1. sorry
    2. I don't know; I wasn't there.
    3. Huh? My emotionally abusive fiance?? WTF? A bit lazier than I, yes, but we're working through that. Getting used to how each other operates is part of what comes with moving in together. Where the hell did you get the emotionally abusive crap from though? I've never, ever once said that, as that is not the case.
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  • Update: Mom called the man, chatted for awhile, then mentioned that we were looking forward to seeing the 5 of them. She then asked who the 5th person was, and alas, it is the GF's kid (her son). Apparently, our family friend then started acting a little "off", and said that it would just be the 3 of them at the wedding. The GF and her son would come along on the trip, but could stay at the hotel. So, not sure what's up with that, or them, but it sounds like that was his final decision.

    ETA: sorry for posting this topic to begin with, and I apologize that I'm quite stupid and don't know the rules of wedding invitations.
    OMFG stop with the passive aggressive shit.  It's old and tired.

    The guest acted that way because your mom probably made it clear by her tone and wording choice that while all 5 will be invited, they are not actually welcome.

    BTW have you worked out the shit with your lazy and most likely emotionally abusive FI?  Because if you just called off the wedding you could save yourself this frustration, as well as a whole bunch of other frustrations.

    wow. That was a little uncalled for.
    It absolutely was.
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  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs
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    Update: Mom called the man, chatted for awhile, then mentioned that we were looking forward to seeing the 5 of them. She then asked who the 5th person was, and alas, it is the GF's kid (her son). Apparently, our family friend then started acting a little "off", and said that it would just be the 3 of them at the wedding. The GF and her son would come along on the trip, but could stay at the hotel. So, not sure what's up with that, or them, but it sounds like that was his final decision.

    ETA: sorry for posting this topic to begin with, and I apologize that I'm quite stupid and don't know the rules of wedding invitations.
    OMFG stop with the passive aggressive shit.  It's old and tired.

    The guest acted that way because your mom probably made it clear by her tone and wording choice that while all 5 will be invited, they are not actually welcome.

    BTW have you worked out the shit with your lazy and most likely emotionally abusive FI?  Because if you just called off the wedding you could save yourself this frustration, as well as a whole bunch of other frustrations.

    wow. That was a little uncalled for.
    LOL!  That's rich coming from you.

    Forgive me for giving a shit about her mental health.  She's in a REALLY bad situation.
    Yeah because your tone TOTALLY shows you care. I have NEVER in my recollection recall a time when your post wasn't dripping with disdain, sarcasm or superiority.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    We aren't allowed to link to threads as per the TOS or maybe we are, but I think this is a reference to a recent thread. . .

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • keochankeochan
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    edited July 2013
    I remember the thread as well and was concerned so I don't really think Linger's post was totally uncalled for, maybe badly worded, but not flag worthy.

    OP, I would honestly contact the guest yourself and let them know how much you look forward to seeing the 5 of them, if your mom threw such a fit in the first place, I doubt her tone on the phone was very welcoming.

    ETA: clarity
    [Deleted User]harper0813
  • Okay, I need to clear some things up with you guys, or at least the people who think that I'm being emotionally abused. I'm not. Plain and simple, FH is one of the most gentle and sensitive men I've ever met. Does he have some potential towards laziness when it comes to doing things around the house? Yes, but we're working through that together, and he has picked up some slack, and has begun helping out more. Does he call me names, call me down, kick me into the ground when I'm low? No. Prior to this relationship, I had been in some doozies, and trust me when I say that I would recognize emotional abuse from a mile away. One guy wouldn't let me cut my hair and he told me how to dress (oh, and when I chopped my hair off, he wouldn't speak to me for a few days). Another demanded that I stop playing in a concert band, stop teaching music, stop hanging out with my family and friends, and that I only go to the gym and hang out with him. Another demanded that I "finish my job" after a 10 minute BJ that didn't seem to have an end. Sorry dude, my jaws got sore. FH is nothing like that, and I honestly couldn't hope to meet anyone better. Does he have faults? Oh hell yeah. Thing is that I have faults too, but in my mind, a strong relationship means being able to look past those faults and still love a person.

    When I've posted on here in the past, it was to get advice on situations that I've never found myself in before because, well, I've never been engaged before, nor have I lived with anyone except my mom, dad and sister. This is a different situation, and I have questions and sometimes, concerns. Sometimes those posts were typed in the heat of the moment, when feelings were still raw. You guys have either been there, or are currently at the same stages that I'm at, and so, I thought that this would be a great place to come to for advice and a listening ear, mostly because my close girlfriends, who I can talk openly with, aren't engaged, and actually, have never had any serious relationships, so they would be just as clueless as I! And, there are times when I've received great and constructive advice from you ladies! However, there are times when the responses are just plain rude and uncalled for. I know this is a public forum, and all opinions are welcome, but there comes a point where decorum is a lost art, which is really quite sad.

    And those are my two cents. Again, I apologize for any hard feelings that this post brought up. That honestly wasn't my intent. I just had a question and needed some constructive advice.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    I don't honestly give a shit what some petulant child thinks about my tone so there's that.
    We aren't allowed to link to threads as per the TOS or maybe we are, but I think this is a reference to a recent thread. . .
    Are you high?
    I wish.  I think your comment about OP"s FI is in regards to a thread by OP  in the past month. . . Being a Better Partner, right?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    Okay, I need to clear some things up with you guys, or at least the people who think that I'm being emotionally abused. I'm not. Plain and simple, FH is one of the most gentle and sensitive men I've ever met. Does he have some potential towards laziness when it comes to doing things around the house? Yes, but we're working through that together, and he has picked up some slack, and has begun helping out more. Does he call me names, call me down, kick me into the ground when I'm low? No. Prior to this relationship, I had been in some doozies, and trust me when I say that I would recognize emotional abuse from a mile away. One guy wouldn't let me cut my hair and he told me how to dress (oh, and when I chopped my hair off, he wouldn't speak to me for a few days). Another demanded that I stop playing in a concert band, stop teaching music, stop hanging out with my family and friends, and that I only go to the gym and hang out with him. Another demanded that I "finish my job" after a 10 minute BJ that didn't seem to have an end. Sorry dude, my jaws got sore. FH is nothing like that, and I honestly couldn't hope to meet anyone better. Does he have faults? Oh hell yeah. Thing is that I have faults too, but in my mind, a strong relationship means being able to look past those faults and still love a person.

    When I've posted on here in the past, it was to get advice on situations that I've never found myself in before because, well, I've never been engaged before, nor have I lived with anyone except my mom, dad and sister. This is a different situation, and I have questions and sometimes, concerns. Sometimes those posts were typed in the heat of the moment, when feelings were still raw. You guys have either been there, or are currently at the same stages that I'm at, and so, I thought that this would be a great place to come to for advice and a listening ear, mostly because my close girlfriends, who I can talk openly with, aren't engaged, and actually, have never had any serious relationships, so they would be just as clueless as I! And, there are times when I've received great and constructive advice from you ladies! However, there are times when the responses are just plain rude and uncalled for. I know this is a public forum, and all opinions are welcome, but there comes a point where decorum is a lost art, which is really quite sad.

    And those are my two cents. Again, I apologize for any hard feelings that this post brought up. That honestly wasn't my intent. I just had a question and needed some constructive advice.
    Did you ever talk with your FI about him setting boundaries with his mother?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Did you ever talk with your FI about him setting boundaries with his mother?
    I did, yes.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    Did you ever talk with your FI about him setting boundaries with his mother?
    I did, yes.
    Good!  How did it go over?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Did you ever talk with your FI about him setting boundaries with his mother?
    I did, yes.
    Good!  How did it go over?
    It went well, thanks. He was understanding and agreeable.
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    smalfrie19
  • smalfrie19 said:
    Yeah because your tone TOTALLY shows you care. I have NEVER in my recollection recall a time when your post wasn't dripping with disdain, sarcasm or superiority.
    Thanks for that; you took the words right out of my mouth. She doesn't care about my mental health, and honestly, I don't know her, and don't really care if she does/doesn't. And, I'm not in a REALLY bad situation. We're in an adjustment period, which is normal for people who just moved in together.
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  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs
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    smalfrie19 said:
    Yeah because your tone TOTALLY shows you care. I have NEVER in my recollection recall a time when your post wasn't dripping with disdain, sarcasm or superiority.
    Thanks for that; you took the words right out of my mouth. She doesn't care about my mental health, and honestly, I don't know her, and don't really care if she does/doesn't. And, I'm not in a REALLY bad situation. We're in an adjustment period, which is normal for people who just moved in together.
    You are welcome.
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!)
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    Update: Mom called the man, chatted for awhile, then mentioned that we were looking forward to seeing the 5 of them. She then asked who the 5th person was, and alas, it is the GF's kid (her son). Apparently, our family friend then started acting a little "off", and said that it would just be the 3 of them at the wedding. The GF and her son would come along on the trip, but could stay at the hotel. So, not sure what's up with that, or them, but it sounds like that was his final decision.

    ETA: sorry for posting this topic to begin with, and I apologize that I'm quite stupid and don't know the rules of wedding invitations.
    Why in the world would all of them come for the trip and then the girlfriend and her son stay at the hotel while he and his kids are at the wedding?  That is incredibly bizarre.  I really think your mother made him feel like they weren't welcome.  I also really think YOU need to call him and see what's up.
    [Deleted User]
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