Popping the Question to your Bridal Party. To personalize or not?

Emmy1493

So, I am not sure if I am alone on this, but I just wanted some advice. When I was ready to ask my really close friends to be apart of my big day, I did not really do it in a way like some do. By that, I mean I didn't give gifts that asked them to be in my bridal party. I pulled them each aside, or while I was hanging out with them and just expressed how much it would mean to me if they were standing up there with me when I said my vows. Looking back on it- I feel bad for not making it all personalized and cutesy. Am I the only one dealing with this? I wasn't sure if it was a must-do, or should-do. I was also really strapped for cash at the time, but am really wanting to get them something nice as a wedding present for them. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Emmy1493

Also, I did not mean to publish this in the Snarky Brides section. I am a forum newbie! ^_^

manateehugger

Not a must do - at all. I've gotten a couple of these "gifts," and I have no idea where either one is. One of the cards was funny (outside said "free drinks!" inside said "if you'll be my bridesmaid") but I'm pretty sure that got lost my house's black hole where all other cards inevitably go. Don't stress about it - at all. You're letting pinterest and esty have too much sway!

I'm sure your ladies are very flattered that you took the time to personally ask each of them. I'd much rather have a cool bridesmaid gift given to me at the rehearsal than have something cutesy months out from the wedding, you know?

annathy03

I asked my BP with cards, except my sister who I gave a ring pop in a box, I wouldn't call either gifts. As a BM I've been asked with a card and over the phone and both moments were equally special because a close friend was asking me to stand with her at her wedding. A gift would not have improved the moment, and while the card was nice I don't have it now. So... don't sweat it!

Blue & White

Yep, I just sent heartfelt cards to ask. My sisters were up for the weekend so I gave them theirs in person and then my two friends received their cards in the mail a few days later.

CLoGreenEyes

What you did was perfectly fine. I have been asked to be a bridesmaid in the same way a couple of times now, and it is just right.

If you want to get them gifts for being in your wedding, that is very nice and thoughtful. I agree with PP's that the best gifts are the ones that are personal and not related to the wedding (e.g., don't get them jewelry you expect them to wear the day of as a gift).

One of my best friends sent me a text a couple months before her wedding asking, "Silver or gold?" As we were all getting ready for the ceremony, she gave each member of the bridal party a bracelet with the infinity symbol on it in the color we had chosen and said, "Everyone in this room has been a wonderful friend to me and I know I will always have you in my life, and that's why I wanted to give you each this bracelet." It was not super-extravagant or anything, but the sentiment meant a lot and I thought it was an example of a sweet gift.

efmcc67

Ahh Pinterest. The spreader of all of the worst ideas in the universe...

Yeah, I just straight-up asked my wedding party. No poems, no candy rings, no stupid survival kits. Just: "Hey, you mean a lot to me. Will you stand up with me at my wedding?" Don't feel bad about it at all!

Like others have said, shop for them like Christmas or their birthday. It's a myth of the wedding industry that wedding party gifts need to be uniform. Get them something personal that they'll appreciate having. For my brother, I got a book that I loved that I think he'll enjoy reading. Another friend will get a nice bottle of wine or two. For one, we're thinking of getting some local, artisan bacon. Just make it personal, and your wedding party will appreciate it.

AJuliaNJ

You did it completely right. Don't change a thing.

applejambutter

I just pulled mine aside and asked, or called for my OOT bridesmaid.

I just got my bridesmaids jewelery that each of them liked. it wasn't for the wedding at all but two of them still wore them.

Peaseblossom55

I haven't asked my bridal party yet.  I thought about just getting them a bottle of wine and ask.  Nothing exciting.  Most of the several times I've been a bridesmaid I just got asked, from one of my friends I got a card in the mail.

rel1988

I straight up asked all of mine....I made shirts to ask my FG's but that's because they are 7 and 8 and knew they would flip out from excitement.

Don't stress!! The wedding industry is putting out some unrealistic expectations out there. The weddings I have been in, I was just verbally asked also.

Emmy1493

Thanks Ladies!! You are all right! Pinterest does make it seem over the top. I feel much better knowing that not giving gifts, (Etc) isn't rude or expected. I also really appreciate the advice as I am new to a lot of this wedding stuff. Haha.

swimmy1988

You did everything right
I asked all my bridesmaids in person or on the phone. No gifts or cards to ask for me.

Jen4948

You were just fine.

I would hate being asked in a "special" way, because it means that the bride is too invested in some childish "cutesy" effect that puts the askee on the spot-especially if she wants or needs to decline.

harper0813

There is nothing wrong with just asking them! It's sweet and personal.

I picked up macarons at Ladurée in Paris for my closest friends who became my bridesmaids (I asked them 11 months in advance - so sue me! I have no regrets) and I put five of them in a pretty and simple box for each girl with a note asking them to be my bridesmaid. I gave it to them face-to-face. So it was a souvenir+BM gift. They loved the macarons (who doesn't?) so I have no regrets.

Dma361

I'm not having a big bridal party, just my bestie as my MOH. I asked her (well told her, which I know she already assumed) via text. Then after we joked via text about how non-wedding-protocol-etiquette-or-whatever it was, I put up a long cheesy Facebook post, asking her, and tagging her in it, just for shits and giggles. No gift, no card, just casual and sarcastic.....just like us.

Emmy1493

I love that idea! I feel like all these crafty websites (Pinterest) makes it seem like you have to go all out to make yourself look good. I now feel okay about how I asked them.

Lowell14

I send an email to my Bridesmaid. maybe not so personal but there is a 11 hour time diff between us. She emailed back and accepted and said that she was tearing up when she read it. it was a nice moment for each of us without buying gfts and cards to ask. I promised her a Karen Millen dress for her troubles, she said she would only agree if i went with Ted Baker

Emmy1493

Awww that is so sweet!! I was happy that all of mine accepted! I told them I promise not to stick them in an outrageous dress, haha.