My mom passed away about 5 years ago. It's kind of complicated (and a long story) but my dad has had a slew of girlfriends since then. Nothing very serious, but....well it's all very weird. Anyone whose parent starts dating after the other dies would probably understand.
Anyway he's been dating this one lady for about a year or so, but he sees other ladies on the side (I don't know if she's aware, I don't necessarily agree with it, but not the point). He wasn't even sure if he was going to tell her I was getting married in case he wanted to bring another one of his ladies. He accidentally let it slip to her, so now he has to bring her and everything.
So I've met this lady twice over the past year. The first time I met her, she was clearly very nervous and something about her rubbed me wrong. I don't know, it's weird after you lose your mom. If my dad would decide to remarry, I would want the woman to clearly show an interest in me and my siblings, get to know us, talk to us, etc, and she has not done that. However, she has offered to buy the wine for our wedding AND let us stay at her condo at the beach for a week for our honeymoon. Considering the very limited budget we are on...it is a tempting offer.
I feel like this is going to put me in a weird predicament. I have met this woman twice: at the initial meeting, she didn't really seem to want to talk to me or get to know me. She hasn't made any effort in the past year to connect with me or get to know me at all. When I lived at home and my dad was dating her, she wouldnt come to the house (probably because my dad knew it would make me and my siblings uncomfortable.)
Anyway it's just kind of weird. I feel like she will want something in return. I don't want her having a special place at my wedding. I don't want her sitting next to my dad at the ceremony with the family. I don't want her in any family pictures. She can definitely afford everything she has offered us, but I dont know how comfortable I am taking it. I've met her twice, and she and my dad are clearly not that serious. I don't know if she is just trying to be nice...or what.
I am sorry if this sounds mean or snarky, but it was incredibly difficult when my dad started dating again, just the way he went about doing it. I want him to be happy and everything, but it's just..ugh. Complicated. I know she won't replace my mom ever, nor will any other woman. I guess I just don't want her thinking she can be special on my day that I should be sharing with my mom...I think that's what it boils down to.
Any thoughts are appreciated.