Small Ceremony, Large Reception.. Is that ok??

kpagspgh

I'm in need of some advice! I have always wanted a very small ceremony with just immediate family and just a few close friends and then have a large reception. Is it ok to invite people to only my reception and not the ceremony. I don't want people to feel left out. Has anyone else done this or been to a wedding where they weren't invited to the ceremony?

cgyvhu

In general, I think people will tell you that those who are invited to one part of the wedding should be invited to the other.  However, I think that a small ceremony/large reception is OK, depending on how you do it.

If you limit the ceremony to immediate family only, but the reception is everyone, that seems fine to me.  But if you start making it family and close friends... you are going to offend some people.  Some people will wonder why they weren't considered close enough to make your ceremony cutoff, or non-immediate family will wonder why you invited some non-family over them.  It could get messy. 

You say in your post that you dont want people to feel left out, and I personally would feel  left out if I didn't get to see the vows of someone I cared about- the ceremony is where the actual marriage starts, and I think it's best to share that with everyone you care about.  So if you don't want people to feel left out, invite everyone to everything.  If you do decide to have a smaller ceremony, I'd make it immediate family and bridal party only so as to avoid offending people.

dbpsu18

We were invited to a wedding this summer where the ceremony was small - just family and bridal party (which was a best man and MOH) were invited. The reception was on a different day and was very informal but the couple invited a lot of people. I thought this was fine and didn't feel left out at all, though I am not super close to the couple - they are old co-workers and DF is better friends with the groom.

I think this can definitely be done, but as MD said, I'd be very careful with who I invite to the ceremony.

Janiceb2010

Are you having your ceremony at the Mansion as well?
If so, it will be tricky to invite some and not others.  People will be showing up early, most likely during your ceremony. If your ceremony is inside, they will be waiting outside and if your ceremony is outside, they will be able to watch your ceremony as they walk or drive up to the Mansion.

pantherRN

In general, I don't think this is OK. I would be upset if I had been invited to a wedding of one of my close friends and could not see her actually get married. I would feel left out of one the more important moments in my friend's life.

If you are dead set on doing it this way, I would only invite our parents, siblings, and maybe grandparents. 

I also agree with Janice's comment.

kpagspgh

Yes, the ceremony is at The Mansion as well. The only thing I was thinking was doing the ceremony early in the day since my family and bridal party are all staying at The Mansion anyway, and then having the reception start much later than the ceremony. Then I could have some time to go take some pictures and refresh before the reception without having to worry about my guests waiting while we take pictures. I guess I'll have to meditate on it a bit. But thanks for the help!