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Etiquette

Stock The Bar Party

Hi all, I am the MOH for a friend that is also getting married and is asking my advice on a stock the bar party. 

She is looking for wording for the invite. Its just an evite or FB invite, so its not a formal invite thru the mail so it doesn't need to be formal.

She found this online, but thought maybe some other wording might be a little better. 

Soon (bride's name) & (groom's name)
will no longer be single, the wedding date is not too far
So let's get together to help stock the bar!

I personally have never had one of these parties, nor have I been to one, so I am not familiar with it at all. 

Any suggestions would be great!

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Re: Stock The Bar Party

  • Eeeh, I'm used to "Stock the Bar" parties, but usually it's for people who just bought a home or started renting a new place (basically a housewarming party).  

    Are they trying to get people to stock the bar for their actual reception? That seems ridiculously rude.

    image
    Blue_BirdPrettyGirlLostTheRaeB
  • PS - if this is for a home bar, and you are going to proceed with this. there is no need for a "cutesy" poem. Just use regular invitation wording:

    You are invited to a
    "Stock the bar" Wedding shower

    in honor of:

    Brides's name

    and

    Groom's name

    Saturday, [month, year] at [time]

    123 Main Street, City, State, Zip

    Please RSVP to:  Rhawndas at (123) 456-7890

    kinsey0628daveANDkristenCLoGreenEyesPrettyGirlLost
  • itzMSitzMS
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers Combo Breaker
    member
    jss0302 said:
    I've been to a stock the kitchen recipe shower. The couple had already had two showers, so we decided to each bring a few recipes with an ingredient or two from one of the recipes.

    I love recipe showers.

    Stock the bar showers are silly. Most people only have at most 2-3 liquors they prefer...so the rest either sits there for years or gets regifted.

    rkbocsuavePrettyGirlLost
  • I don't object to stock the bar showers any more than I object to any other themed showers.  Not really my jam, but whatever.

    If it's going to be a stock the bar shower, you don't need a cute poem.

    I read your post as saying that your friend is throwing her own shower?  Did I just read that wrong?  If that is what she is doing, please tell her that it's very rude and gift grabby to throw yourself a party where the whole point is that people buy you things.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    Blue_Bird
  • zobirdzobird
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
    member
    Your friend is asking you to throw her a stock the bar party? If a friend did that to me, I'd go have a STALK the bar party. That wasn't very tasteful of your friend.

    I don't find them too horrendous - I wouldn't throw one, but it isn't the worst shower faux pas there is. QueerFemme's wording looks good.

    AllyIdoTheRaeB
  • rkborkbo
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    Sorry, to clarify, she is not asking me to host it for her. I am in cali and she is on east coast. Just was asking my advice on the wording. It is definitely not her bridal shower and they did just move into an apartment together about a month or so ago. 

    BTW, That recipe shower sounds awesome! I am personally not having any showers for my wedding, but that is one I would actually consider if I didn't hate being the center of attention sooo much. lol

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    If you were taking it upon yourself to throw your friend a stock the bar party, that could be fun, but you wouldn't need any special or "cute" wording for the invitation.

    If your friend asked you to throw her this party or plans to do this for her reception, it would be very rude, because you (generic from here on in) aren't supposed to ask anyone else to host a party for you or solicit funding for your reception-you're supposed to cover the costs yourself for any amenities you offer your guests.  "Cute poems" in the invitation wording would magnify the insult to the guests.


  • rhawndas said:
    Sorry, to clarify, she is not asking me to host it for her. I am in cali and she is on east coast. Just was asking my advice on the wording. It is definitely not her bridal shower and they did just move into an apartment together about a month or so ago. 

    BTW, That recipe shower sounds awesome! I am personally not having any showers for my wedding, but that is one I would actually consider if I didn't hate being the center of attention sooo much. lol
    Wait, so who is hosting the party?

    If she is hosting, eek.  It's really tacky to throw a party in your honor and demand gifts on the invitation.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    FizzySipsBlue_Bird
  • In that case, I'd recommend that you tell her to leave off the wedding aspect of it. Just have a "You're invited to a stock the bar party!" invitation.

    This alcohol is for their personal bar right? Not for the wedding?

    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • rkborkbo
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    Good question, I am pretty sure it is for their personal bar, not the wedding. 

  • Yeah, leave out anything wedding oriented on that invite. It sounded to me like it was to stock alcohol for her reception. 

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  • rkborkbo
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    I would assume they are since its their home. 

    Out of curiosity, who do housewarming parties get thrown by? Is it not the couple? 

    When I was 19 and got my first apartment, I threw my own housewarming, lol, maybe I didn't know the proper etiquette. 

    PrettyGirlLost
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Housewarming parties are thrown by the homeowners/tenants.
  • Housewarming is thrown by the couple, but it's rude to ask for gifts. 


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Blue_Bird
  • Housewarming parties are thrown by the people that live there, but it's very rude to ask/demand gifts.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • rkborkbo
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    haha, Moe! Me too, my first thought is to find a friend and talk them into hosting one for me, but the instant I tell them about it THEY will want me to throw them one too!! 

  • I've heard of them, and they are common in H's home state, Arkansas. I think they're neat, and I don't have an issue with it. But I usually associate them with people moving in together, whether getting married or not.
  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited July 2013
    @jss0302, he grew up in Harrison and went to school in Fayetteville. We live in Dallas, and I have never heard of them outside of his group.

    ETA: I've lived in and around Dallas my whole life.
  • Grew up in Missouri. Stock the Bar parties are a common form of housewarming parties for us.

    I don't have an issue with the really either. I usually bring a bottle of booze to a housewarming party anyway.
    image
  • Wait, people have housewarming parties and request gifts? What the hell?

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image

    I'M ON THE TARDIS!

  • NYCBruinNYCBruin
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 2013
    LMc0322 said: Wait, people have housewarming parties and request gifts? What the hell?


    That was my thought, too!  I usually bring booze to a housewarming party, but if you
    request it...well I might just "accidentally" open that bottle of Johnnie Walker and drink it myself.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    ewalls110
  • In my circle a housewarming party is implied alcohol. I wouldn't ever put it as a requirement on an invite though. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In my circle a housewarming party is implied alcohol. I wouldn't ever put it as a requirement on an invite though. 

    Same.  We bring booze, but I find it incredibly rude to theme a party like that.  If you're hosting a party, host it,. Don't ask people to bring you gifts.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image

    I'M ON THE TARDIS!

  • fyrefly76 said:
    I actually threw myself a "Help me Empty the Bar" party.  When I moved into my own place, dad "helped" by giving me all the bottles of his crap liquor; Apple Pucker, Cinnamon stuff, blue stuff, etc.  After moving and taking bottles of this crap to new apartments several times, I decided it was time to get rid of it all.  Instead of a BYOB, I had them bring their favorite mixer, so cranberry juice, tonic, diet soda, etc.  We got crazy boozy, created a drink called Nerds (that tasted like the candy consisting of cranberry juice, blue pucker, 7up, and some crappy watermelon kiwi stuff I had), and had a generally good time.

    When I was in college, there were always a handful of these at the end of the semester and they were always a blast.  Oh how I miss those days!
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • LMc0322 said:
    In my circle a housewarming party is implied alcohol. I wouldn't ever put it as a requirement on an invite though. 

    Same.  We bring booze, but I find it incredibly rude to theme a party like that.  If you're hosting a party, host it,. Don't ask people to bring you gifts.
    Same here.  If we get invited to a housewarming party, I generally bring some form of alcohol, depending on the people.  But I'd be less inclined to bring something if the invitation specifically request that I do.  I give gifts out of generosity, not obligation.
    [Deleted User]
  • I am not going to lie, but I want a stock the bar party. I am tired of drinking Two Buck Chuck.

    I feel you.

    image
  • My friend had a stock the bar party for their wedding. I did not attend. They had so many different types of alcohol, that no one drank the same thing more than once. To have to switch wines every glass was horrible.
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