Intro and Indecisive Bride

PrimRoseMama

Mobile: Intro and Indecisive Bride

Hello ladies! My name is Prim and I'm a MoH for my BFF's wedding in 2014 or 2015. She just got engaged (last week). I am very excited for her and love helping her plan her wedding. My only issue is that right now she seems to be really really indecisive. She's been planning her wedding since she was 12! I'm not joking. She is one of those girls that creates scrapbooks and stuff of how she wants things to look and has done so for years. So, now that she is actually engaged it seems that all of it has gone out the window? I don't really care, but it makes me nervous when it comes time to order MoH dress, ring bearer and flower girl (my kids) outfits.

I will gladly do whatever she wants as far as style, color and really even price point isn't an issue. I just hope she can make up her mind by then. The same is true for a date and a venue. She seemed set on a place, and date before she got engaged. Now she's changed her mind and can't figure out where she wants to get married. She's been aiming to get married for the last three boyfriends now. Like, on a mission yo. So, every time those relationships went boom she will go to town planning her dream wedding. Its entertaining (who doesn't like to fart around on Pinterest with pretty ideas?), but now that she is actually engaged I hope this flip flopping can be tamed. 

Is this a normal part of getting married? I was pretty fixed in my preferences from the get go. I knew what I wanted and did that. Then again I dated and was engaged for a long time. Is it just the elation of getting engaged and she is enjoying the glow? Anyone else deal with a bride that is all over the place?

I am trying to be supportive, but she also wants to be pregnant soon (like second trimester at the wedding date) so that throws another layer of complications into it. I've gently advised her to take one big life adjustment at a time. You know, planning a wedding isn't something that is exactly easy etc. However, she is bound and determined to have all of this happen at once. So, I am just slapping on my happy face and going for the ride. 

Who else has a sort of spastic bride that you love, but frustrates you a little?

cbrown828

She may be indecisive because now that she's actually engaged she's taking her fiance's wishes and ideas into consideration, not just her own. Or since she's been "aiming" to get married, now that it's actually happening she doesn't know what to do.

Sounds like she needs to take a deep breath and make big decisions first, such as the date. I would recommend you take a big deep breath too, be there for your friend, and make decisions as you go. Whether it's next year or 2015, it all doesn't have to be decided today.

ETA: This "2nd trimester by the wedding date" thing is weirding me out. Is she really trying to lock this guy in?

MairePoppy

It's not so strange to not love the same ideas as an adult, that you loved as a 12 year old. Be happy that she won't be asking you to wear that bm dress that she chose as a pre-teen : ) 

PrimRoseMama

ETA: This "2nd trimester by the wedding date" thing is weirding me out. Is she really trying to lock this guy in?

Yeah, Its been throwing me for a loop too. It is actually his idea for her to be pregnant before the wedding. I have no idea.

Xstatic3333

Another issue could be that now she's thinking less about dream scenarios and more about what she can afford. The good news is that it sounds like she has plenty of time to go through her options!

SJM7538

Xstatic3333 said:

Another issue could be that now she's thinking less about dream scenarios and more about what she can afford. The good news is that it sounds like she has plenty of time to go through her options!

Ditto the budget concerns. You don't realize how much stuff actually costs until you actually have
To plan it and pay for it.

But honestly if she isn't getting married Til 2014 possibly 2015 then she should book a venue and then just relax and enjoy being engaged. There really much to do this far out.

PrimRoseMama

Thanks ladies! :-D

allispain

MairePoppy said:

It's not so strange to not love the same ideas as an adult, that you loved as a 12 year old. Be happy that she won't be asking you to wear that bm dress that she chose as a pre-teen : ) 

Haha loved this.

I wouldn't worry about it - she has plenty of time to make plans, adjust her expectations to suit her budget and her FI's wishes, etc. You don't have to order BM dresses until about 6 months in advance - lots of time before that regardless of whether she's planning for 2014 or 2015. Right now all she really needs to do is figure out a budget and an approximate guest list so that she can choose a venue. And yes, she may look at venues that are totally different from each other. That's ok. She needs to get a better sense of what she/they want, and looking at all the option is the way to do so.