Opinions please! Is it tacky?

queenbekks

Please give me your opinions: is it tacky to put out a tip jar for our bartender? I say it is, my fiancee says its not. (We intend to tip her ourselves, either way). Thanks!

JoanE2012

queenbekks said:

Please give me your opinions: is it tacky to put out a tip jar for our bartender? I say it is, my fiancee says its not. (We intend to tip her ourselves, either way). Thanks!

I hate tip jars.  I've never seen a venue not include a hefty gratuity/service fee in the total charge.  If the gratuity is already paid, there is no reason for a tip jar.  Our venue didn't put a tip jar out and I'm glad.....our guests should never have had to open their wallet for anything.

doeydo

I think it is a personal preference.  But if you are already tipping them on top of their fees, why is there a need for one?

clg1213

doeydo said:

I think it is a personal preference.  But if you are already tipping them on top of their fees, why is there a need for one?

b/c the industry lurrrrrrrvvvvvvvves money

ConfettiStars

Tacky indeed! If you are going to be tipping anyway then it doesn't make sense to have a tip jar. Besides, if the liquor is on the house then people shouldn't require to remove their wallets for anything else either. 

allispain

ConfettiStars said:

Tacky indeed! If you are going to be tipping anyway then it doesn't make sense to have a tip jar. Besides, if the liquor is on the house then people shouldn't require to remove their wallets for anything else either. 

This.

jessicabessica

Tacky.  You, the hosts, are responsible for all costs, including tips.  Tell your FI that you don't want guests to feel like you haven't properly hosted them, and if they really want to tip the bartender, they can easily do so without a tip jar.

snoopycac

Im not sure if i would consider it tacky, but i think it is unnecessary.

Ven&Radio

Rule of thumb, if you have to ask 'is it tacky/rude?', the answer is almost always yes.

NYCBruin

Your instinct is correct.  Very tacky.  You're hosting so you're responsible for taking care of the bartenders.  No tip jars!

MyNameIsNot

It's rude.  You should not ask your guests for money for anything at your wedding.  A tip jar implies that they are responsible for the tip.  If people want to tip the bartender a little extra, they will.  Jar or not.  

Jen4948

Rude and tacky.  It's your responsibility to tip your bartenders-not your guests'.

Dreamergirl8812

My local Papa Johns keeps a tip jar on the counter and I think that's tacky as shit. So yes.

You host = you tip = no tip jar out for guests.

Dma361

Ditto to all. Tacky. I'm the type that tips bartenders everywhere I go, with included gratuity or not (I intend on tipping my bartenders at my reception an additional amount in cash), and I would do it with or without the jars. I do it because I want to, having been a bartender for 10 years. Those who don't shouldn't feel obligated at a hosted event.

QueerFemme

Yep, another ditto.  You should tell your venue not to allow bartenders to put a tip jar out. And if you or your wedding coordinator notices such a thing, you should ask them to put it away. It's tacky, and you should be tipping the staff.

baer0006

I know this is an older thread but I just had to throw out there: at most venues your gratuity goes to the servers and kitchen staff. The bartender doesn't receive a portion because the understanding is that he will be tipped by guests. He also had a lower hourly pay than other staff for the same reason.

southernbelle0915

baer0006 said:

I know this is an older thread but I just had to throw out there: at most venues your gratuity goes to the servers and kitchen staff. The bartender doesn't receive a portion because the understanding is that he will be tipped by guests. He also had a lower hourly pay than other staff for the same reason.

This isn't always the case. We were strongly against having a tip jar out at our open bar. It's tacky to have guests tip for the drinks that the host is covering. We talked to the caterer and asked about this. They split the gratuity evening between all service staff (including the bartender). 

My advice is to look in the contract and ask the vendor. Let them know that, as hosts, you will be covering gratuity and that they should not put out a tip jar. 

Maggie0829

baer0006 said:

I know this is an older thread but I just had to throw out there: at most venues your gratuity goes to the servers and kitchen staff. The bartender doesn't receive a portion because the understanding is that he will be tipped by guests. He also had a lower hourly pay than other staff for the same reason.

No that is not true.  If there is not gratuity included in the contract for your bartender then it is the responsibility of the bride and groom or whoever is hosting the event to tip the bartender, not the guests.

mariathomaswedding

Yes, very. That is all your responsibility, not your guests'.

Ionewton

It seems a bit tacky. All of our friends and family work in the service industry or are regular bar patrons so I am sure that will will tip automatically. Most people should understand the courtesy. It is their responsibility and hopefully they will tip even if you and you SO plan to at the end of the night. 

grumbledore

Ionewton said:

It seems a bit tacky. All of our friends and family work in the service industry or are regular bar patrons so I am sure that will will tip automatically. Most people should understand the courtesy. It is their responsibility and hopefully they will tip even if you and you SO plan to at the end of the night. 

No, it is absolutely 100% not the guests' responsibility to tip at a wedding.  It's the couple's responsibility.

mimiphin

alisonmarie658 said:

grumbledore said:

Ionewton said:

It seems a bit tacky. All of our friends and family work in the service industry or are regular bar patrons so I am sure that will will tip automatically. Most people should understand the courtesy. It is their responsibility and hopefully they will tip even if you and you SO plan to at the end of the night. 

No, it is absolutely 100% not the guests' responsibility to tip at a wedding.  It's the couple's responsibility.

Amen to this. Many places build a gratuity into their prices and you just have to ask about it.

When will the KG's promote Grumbledore to Sainthood already!!!!

 

annathy03

There should never be tip jars, guests should never FEEL like they need to tip.  I have tipped at weddings without tip jars, and typically will if the service warrants it, but I don't want to feel obligated to.  As hosts you should never plan for your guests to open their wallets.

That said, I don't side eye them if it's the only etiquette breach b/c I assume the venue/bartender did it rather than the couple.

Also, grumbledore for TK president!

grumbledore

jennyleigh16

I didn't mean to imply that it was the guests' responsibility to tip the bartender, only that in the three banquet halls of varying quality that I've worked in, the bartenders did not receive a portion of the gratuity. No one should speak in absolutes. 

jessielynn1987

I would not do a tip jar. Guests might not know you intend to tip her on your own and think feel obliged to tip because they think it's their responsibility.