Military Brides

Family drama, any advice?

Hello Ladies! I am a long time lurker on this board, and while my issue isn't entirely military related, you all seem to have pretty solid heads on your shoulders and a history of giving sound advice, so I figured I'd give this a shot!  ;)      

My mother has always been a little on the crazy side, and as the reality of me moving away to be with my FI comes nearer, she has started lashing out at my FI. She has insulted his career and decision to serve; has tried to convince me that life married to a man in the military will be miserable; and worst of all, recently told me in front of him that he reminded her of an abusive ex of hers and basically called him a wife beater. I don't for a second believe a single thing that she has said, and it in no way affects how I feel, but it doesn't change the fact that she has said these things, and she refuses to apologize for any of it. I've lived with this kind of behavior from her for probably the past ten years or more so its become easier for me to ignore. But now, not surprisingly, my FI is basically refusing a wedding where she would be present, and wants to elope. I have never wanted a big wedding, and really only planned on a small ceremony with the closest of family, but I can't imagine eloping and having none of my family present. At the same time though, there is no way to have any of my family present without her, and I almost feel like its not fair to expect him to allow her to be present on a day that is supposed to be a happy start to the rest of our lives. 

I want nothing more than to be with my FI (we've been long distance for three of the six years we've been together), but the situation with my mother just keeps getting in the way. I really don't know what to do at this point, and any advice or insight would be very much appreciated.

Thanks for reading! (And sorry for the length!)

tl;dr: My crazy mother has insulted and alienated my FI, and now he wants to elope to avoid my mother being present on our wedding day, but I have always wanted a small ceremony with family. 

Re: Family drama, any advice?

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