Etiquette

Last wedding in the family want to be diffrent

 Hi 'm newly engaged and the last one in my family to be married.  So my first  challange is my budget I have 25,000 . It sounds like a lot BUT I have champange taste on a Budweiser budget . I want to do something diffrent especially bc I'm the last one in my family to be married. PLUS my one sister got married in June the other one is this  September . So my challange is finding something diffrent I really want my wedding to stand out . So can anyone help me with wedding venues or ideas ?  ( Sorry my spelling is horrible :(
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Re: Last wedding in the family want to be diffrent

  • Congrats on your engagement!

    If you need help finding a venue, the ladies on your local board will have some good ideas. If you want to trim money from the budget, check out the Budget and DIY board. There are lots of unique touches you can add to your wedding. Just make sure that whatever you pick, it represents you and your groom. You want to add these touches organically; you don't want them to seem forced. For example, my friend had Lego centerpieces, and those were a big success. On the other hand, things like choreographing your wedding party entrance always seem awkward.

    I don't know if we can give you a lot of specific advice without knowing more about you. What kind of touches might you want to include?
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  • LV2014 said:
     Hi 'm newly engaged and the last one in my family to be married.  So my first  challange is my budget I have 25,000 . It sounds like a lot BUT I have champange taste on a Budweiser budget . I want to do something diffrent especially bc I'm the last one in my family to be married. PLUS my one sister got married in June the other one is this  September . So my challange is finding something diffrent I really want my wedding to stand out . So can anyone help me with wedding venues or ideas ?  ( Sorry my spelling is horrible :(
    Let's start with the fact that the man you are marrying is different than the men your sisters are marrying. You, your groom, your love for each other is enough to set your wedding apart from other wedding. I would focus less on being different and more on doing what you love. If sister 1 and 2 had ballroom weddings and you always envisioned yourself having a ballroom wedding, HAVE A BALLROOM WEDDING! You could have your wedding in the EXACT same room as one of your sisters, and you could make it you. That's what all those personal touches are about. Wedding colors, themes, hobbies (if you are a runner maybe have your STDs look like the paper number that runners wear during events)

    FYI $25,000 is not a budweiser budget. I did a wedding for 200 people with buffet, open bar, and pretty much paid for someone to do everything (floral, set up, cake etc) in the city.


    PrettyGirlLostjustintime5button6004
  • manateehuggermanateehugger
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
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    edited July 2013

    I'm sorry. I have two big sisters who got married before me. I therefore refuse to believe that all three of you have identical taste to the point where your weddings will look/be exactly the same.

    One had her reception in a refurbished stable, one in a botanical garden, and mine will be in a kids' museum.

     ETA: I also think you should do the circus wedding. Red nose included.

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    PrettyGirlLostdrummerbonbon
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma
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    My sister and I got married 6 months apart in the exact same church/venue.  The weddings were nothing alike.  Don't worry about it.  Just do what you and your FI want to do for your wedding.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • LV2014 said:
     Hi 'm newly engaged and the last one in my family to be married.  So my first  challange is my budget I have 25,000 . It sounds like a lot BUT I have champange taste on a Budweiser budget . I want to do something diffrent especially bc I'm the last one in my family to be married. PLUS my one sister got married in June the other one is this  September . So my challange is finding something diffrent I really want my wedding to stand out . So can anyone help me with wedding venues or ideas ?  ( Sorry my spelling is horrible :(
    ...And so is your punctuation.

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  • Stage wins. 

    [Deleted User]SuperMinty
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    edited July 2013
    I understand. I'm one of the last to get married in my family, 3 of my cousins were married in October, so my Grandma and Mom told me I was not allowed to pick a date in October :). Like all the PP said, don't stress your wedding will be different because it's you and your FI. 
    And budget wise you should be fine, just identify what's most important to you (say: food) and scale back in other areas that aren't as important to you (say: flowers) 

    Edited to fix a "your"/"you're" mistake. gah.
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  • phiraphira Bahstin
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    $25k isn't a Budweiser budget. It's not necessarily a HUGE budget, depending on where you live, but it's definitely not a small budget.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    PrettyGirlLostbutton6004
  • Circus wedding!  I'm betting no one else in your family has had one of these.


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    If she came to WI, Baraboo has Circus World and could pictures done there. Beautiful venue just down the street too!

    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • Circus wedding!  I'm betting no one else in your family has had one of these.

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    One of my friend's actually had a beautiful tasteful vintage circus themed wedding...although it wasn't all that gimmicky 
  • Where I live, the average home price is just under one million dollars. I still managed to have a very nice wedding AND honeymoon for under $25,000. You can do a lot with that much money. Just be smart about it. All weddings have their similarities and differences. Yours won't be exactly the same as your sisters'.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Listen to the ladies, go to your local board and ask around.  I am sure you'll find much better help there in regards to your "budget" wedding.  Seriously $25K is not a budweiser wedding.  If you think that a piddle amount of money then I feel sorry for your FI.  Take the budget you have and be creative.  Don't plan a PPD, plan something that resonates you and your FI and make it fun.  Be creative, or would that be too hard for you, since you know you're the last and your sister's have USED all of the great ideas in the wedding world.  Buck up butter cup, pull on your big girl's thinking cap and get a moving.
    leia1979buddysmom80PrettyGirlLost
  • Why would the comment 'give you the sads?'

    kinsey0628wittykitty14
  • ivyrose13 said:
    I know others have already commented about it, but I just wanted to throw my two cents in. 25k is by no means a Budweiser budget, our wedding was in New England, which is notorious for having a high cost of living. We had the wedding of our dreams on a 10k budget, that includes our ocean side ceremony, ballroom reception, spa day, rehearsal dinner, and honeymoon. I find it kind of offensive to be upset with at 25k budget, I have been to many beautiful weddings with significantly lower budgets, that would have beyond ecstatic to have a fifth of your budget. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you are married, not how much you spend. You will forget about most of the small details of wedding within the first year. My husband and I are about to celebrate our second anniversary, the majority of our unique details are packed away in a box collecting dust. We are married, that is all that matters.


    Can we give the OP the benefit of a doubt here?  She said it was a challenge, not that she was upset about it.  Otherwise, I agree with what you said.

    OP, we'd need to know what your sisters' weddings were/will be like to give you ideas on how to be different.  Our budget was also around $25K and it was awesome.  My advice is to scrimp on things that are less important, like invitations, and pick a ceremony venue that's already beautiful so you don't need to spend money decorating it.  There are MANY ways to save money and still look like you spent on a champagne budget.

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  • Congrats on your engagement.

    Take some time to think about what things/locations say "you guys" Are you sports people, or outdoorsy, or into golf, biking, books, pets, etc. Also, what do you picture for your dream wedding? Looking at pictures on line can help give you ideas. Have you always dreamed of an outdoor wedding or a church wedding, what time of year is your favorite time of year? Your local board will be able to give you great suggestions for venues in your area that fit your personality. Also check out reviews of different venues on TK and wedding wire.

    What will people remember from your wedding, how beautiful you looked, if the food was good or not and if they had fun. You don't have to be different for your wedding to be rememberable. I know what you mean by champagne tastes, I'm into outdoors and I have the equipment to go with my sports. My BIL once told my hubby, she has really cool stuff, it's expensive, but really cool. I had half the budget to work with that you are working with. Yet family members and friends still say that our wedding has been one of the funniest weddings they've been to so far why? The food was good and they had fun (thank you DJ) . We kept things different by doing little things that said us. I went for a classy yet simple theme, it was beautiful and keeping it simple kept my stress level down during the planning process.

    Good luck & try to enjoy the planning process

    FLDiver
  • Agree w/ all the PPs about your wedding being inherently unique bc it's YOU marrying YOUR fi, and you can include all your own personal touches.

    But since it's an etiquette board, I want to add that what else you can do to make your wedding "stand out" and make ppl remember it is to host your guests properly... like inviting all SOs, chairs for everyone, no cash bar, serve food at a meal time... etc, etc, etc.  All the advice you can find on here.

    Just mentioning this, bc if you are really caught up in making it stand out and be so different, it might be tempting to get caught up in some gimmicks.  When I think what really matters most to guests is being comfortable and having a good time, not a "theme" per se.
  • I had $20,000 to spend on our wedding last summer.  That's what I decided I could afford, since I was paying for everything.  My wedding was not only far different from every other wedding I've been to, it was far different than my prior weddings.


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  • I think the first thing you should do is change your mindset from the "A wedding has to have a big white dress, I have to walk down an aisle, I have to have bridesmaids and groomsmen, I have the have bouquets, I have to have center pieces, I have to have toasts, I have to have a DJ/band and dancing, it has to be in the evening, blah blah blah. NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. All you need is a wedding license, and officiant, and a witness. The rest is totally up to you.

    So start thinking about it like the blank slate it is, instead of just trying to fill all of these buckets with "your own personal touches' like the color of your bridesmaids dresses, or what your save the dates look like. 
    +misslisaPrettyGirlLostlc07
  • Although you're saying "I want to do something different" I feel like I'm really reading "I want to do something better than my siblings." The fact that you are marrying the man of your dreams and your sister married the man of her dreams makes it different right out of the gate. No two weddings are the same! I was the first in my family to get married (4th of my 13 cousins) and I found myself saying I wanted something "different" on occasion. For me, different really meant non-traditional. My cousins got married in the church. I wanted to be married outdoors by our pastor. My BMs wore tangerine sundresses - yes, it's been done before, but tangerine isn't your average bridesmaid color, so it was a bit different. We used a unity cross instead of a unity candle, because we loved it and felt it was much more representative of us. We opted for a loft overlooking the city as opposed to a hotel ballroom because windows with a view were important to us. When it all came together, we had our ceremony and reception in the same place as thousands of couples before us. We used the same details and had many of the same ideas as couples before us. But our wedding was ours. It was us. It was 100% unique once it was all put together. And we LOVED it. That is what's important!
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • PDKH said:

    I'm sorry. I have two big sisters who got married before me. I therefore refuse to believe that all three of you have identical taste to the point where your weddings will look/be exactly the same.

    One had her reception in a refurbished stable, one in a botanical garden, and mine will be in a kids' museum.

     ETA: I also think you should do the circus wedding. Red nose included.

    I'm sorry if this is creepy, but aren't you from STL? If you are, I think we might have the same venue!

    Back to the OP, I don't think you should worry so much about having your wedding stand out, but just focus on having it be a nice representation on you and your FI. Is there a place you could have it that's special to you? Or something you do together that you could base some of the details on?

    And to me, what really makes a wedding stand out isn't those sorts of things, but how you treat your guests and make it fun for them. For my wedding, that's no gap, no head table without wedding party dates, not tons of photo op moments (special dances, toasts, etc. that everyone not involved in just has to sit and watch), and good food and drinks. Those are the types of things that make me really remember a wedding (which might just be because all of those things are really common in my area/circle).
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  • amalama said:


    PDKH said:

    I'm sorry. I have two big sisters who got married before me. I therefore refuse to believe that all three of you have identical taste to the point where your weddings will look/be exactly the same.

    One had her reception in a refurbished stable, one in a botanical garden, and mine will be in a kids' museum.

     ETA: I also think you should do the circus wedding. Red nose included.


    I'm sorry if this is creepy, but aren't you from STL? If you are, I think we might have the same venue!



    I'll be creepy STL girl too and guess I should wish you both "magical" weddings.

    Also I know I'm confused but clowns didn't get Stage banned did they?

    OP, I strongly suggest setting your guest list first. Once you know how much you have per person, planning your dream wedding will be easier.
  • I will say that no matter where you fall in the order of being married every wedding is different. I went to two weddings last year of two brothers and their weddings were completely different as the two couples marrying.

    I am the last in my family and it will be different because my FH are completely different from my siblings. Plus by us having a plated dinner vs buffet will be different. FTR, my BMs will be in purple just like I was in my sister's wedding. She had to pull out a wedding album to see her color was purple because she had been thinking it was blue!
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • I think far too many people worry about making their wedding "unique" and different and end up with a hot mess. Forget about  your sisters/cousins/whoever's weddings and plan the wedding YOU envision and dream of. Trust me, you're wedding won't be the last wedding everyone in your family attends. So make it the wedding you want and stay away from all the gimmicky crap that's floating around nowadays.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

    rvg22PrettyGirlLost
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    meggiemo said:
    Although you're saying "I want to do something different" I feel like I'm really reading "I want to do something better than my siblings."

    acove2006 said:
    I think far too many people worry about making their wedding "unique" and different and end up with a hot mess. Forget about  your sisters/cousins/whoever's weddings and plan the wedding YOU envision and dream of. Trust me, you're wedding won't be the last wedding everyone in your family attends. So make it the wedding you want and stay away from all the gimmicky crap that's floating around nowadays.
    I agree with both bolded statements.

    Don't worry about what other people did, just plan the wedding the way you and your FI want to.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    [Deleted User]meggiemo
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    You're the last person to get married in your family ever?  Like forever and ever?



    SKPM
  • First thing's first - you have a budget but you need a guest list. Once you figure out what you can afford per person and how big of a venue you'll need, THEN you can start piecing together unique ideas.

    Honestly, I would think hard about why you want it to be "different" and why it's important to you. Is it important to your FI? What does he want? What are your joint priorities? I would stop comparing anything to anyone else and just do what makes you and your FI happy.
    *********************************************************************************

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    PrettyGirlLost
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