Remembering dad

kmead76

We are getting married on may 10th which I would be my dads birthday. He passed away when I was 13 and I'm 37 now. My mom is walking me down the aisle but I would like to have a boutainnere made for him to carry down the aisle and place in the empty chair by my mom and walk the rest of the way to the alter (only a few more steps) by myself. We are having a small wedding 50 people max close family and friends only. My mom thinks its a thoughtful idea and fiancé said as long as it makes me happy he doesn't mind. I don't want to make it a sad occasion for others but even though he's been gone for years it doesn't feel right for my dad not to have a place at my wedding. What are your thoughts suggestions

ArtTeacher23

I agree, that does sound lovely and like the perfect mixture.  Some other options that I've seen other brides do that you might also want to include or think about: 

-Have a photo of your dad in a little charm on your bouquet this way he is "walking down the aisle" with you.

- If you still have any of his old clothes, like a blue work/dress shirt turn it into your something blue: cut a heart-shaped piece out & have it sewn on the inside of your dress near your own heart.

- Make a mention of it in your program. A very nice saying I've come cross on Pinterest that I thought about including in my program goes something like: "We know you would be here today, If Heaven wasn't so far way.  As we embark on the next step of our lives together, we would like to take the time to lovingly remember those close to our hearts who are no longer with us. Today we remember...."

kmead76

Thank you! I thought long and hard and have heard many of the other ideas and while I liked them they never seemed right for me and so I came up with something that felt right to us but on some of the other posts I read that were similar to my plans most seemed to feel if made the wedding too sad, which is not something I want either. We are getting married on his birthday because it was important to both of us especially since fiancé ring is my parents wedding wedding band which was given to them by my grandparents. I want to carry his bouttennere so I can have him with me when I walk down the aisle but leave it next to my mom when I marry my best friend and man of my dreams just like I would have if he were here to do the honors of walking beside me. So thank you ladies for putting my mind at ease. Still have a while yet but am already freaking over details lol

ohxhi

There's nothing wrong with remembering someone important to you on your day - it's really thoughtful that you want to do something as a tribute. ArtTeacher has some really good suggestions, I've seen the charms done before and I really liked that.  

Whatever you decide to do, just follow your heart.  It won't be too sad, (a wedding is an emotional event regardless) it will be very sweet. 

kellibastien

I think your idea is very sweet! I really like the boutaineer idea! We are trying to figure out how to remember my fiancés father who has passed and my grandparents who were very important in my life... We had contemplated the empty reserved chair idea as well.

StillGotHerDream

My grandmother passed away about five years ago, and since she had raised me, it had always been my dream to have her walk me down the aisle. After a while and a few discussions with my FI, we decided I would walk down the aisle alone and carry her picture, and then place it next to a picture of his aunt, on a table with the Pinterest quote Art teacher mentioned. I think remembering those we lost is important. My friend that lost her mother lit a candle during her ceremony a her pastor said a blessing. Whatever feels right for you.

rachelpolice78

Hi there,

I can totally relate kmead76 - I lost my Dad to cancer 5 years ago and we were extremely close. He was also born (and passed away) in May, so having the wedding in May is also special for me and my family. I have also struggled with how to remember him...I'm not even sure how I will word the invitations. I'm lucky to have a brother who will be walking me down the aisle and assuming most of the traditional father-of-the-bride duties. I have heard (and like) the suggestion to carry a pin on the bouquet with a picture. My wedding dress actually has pockets so I will be carrying something meaningful to him with me the entire time. We are also thinking about having something in the program or some kind of song during the ceremony. I love the idea of having a seat reserved for your Dad and a flower placed on that seat. How amazing. Good luck with your planning and I know your Dad will be smiling down on you!

AnitaH08

This is definitely a situation where you have to do what is right for you. While I think your idea is lovely, I wouldn't be able to do it, but that's because any outward display would be too difficult for me (my dad will have been gone for almost 12 years when we get married).

I've been pushed to do some sort of memorial, and I ended up choosing not to do programs in part because I didn't even want to see anything in print. I finally relented and decided that I will have the DJ play a favorite song of my dad's when I do a shot of whiskey with my brothers. It might not be conventional, but it works because my dad loved music and whiskey. Lol. My hope is that by that point I will have just the right combo of holy-shit-I'm-married happiness and liquor that I won't cry.