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Etiquette

Inviting new co-workers after dinner?

I started a new job just days before getting engaged. When planning began, I didn't include co-workers on my guest list since I didn't know any of them. We rented a small venue that has only enough room for our small guest list of family and close friends. Several months have passed, my wedding is all planned and I've made some great friends at the office and I'd like them to be a part of the day. We cannot invite them to dinner because the venue doesn't hold more people for a sit down dinner. I know everyone thinks it's super tacky to invite people only to the snacks, desserts, cocktails, and dancing part of the evening, but I think my situation may be slightly different. I'm not doing it because we don't have the money. (I've seen a lot of people commenting that people will be offended and feel like you're saying they're not worth it to pay for their meal) We had our venue contracted for several months before I got to know my colleagues and it just doesn't fit the extra people. In this situation, am I allowed to do the after dinner invite? If so, how do I create a tactful invitation?

Re: Inviting new co-workers after dinner?

  • Your situation isn't any different from most other people's reasons. It's almost always money or space.

    Space is still an issue, no matter what portion they're invited to. What if they want to sit?
    image
  • Nope. Still rude. Don't do it.
    Blue_Bird
  • I understand it's tough, but please don't invite them if you can't host them properly. 

    Are you at the max capacity for your venue, or is that just how many tables/chairs they have? If it's the latter, rent an extra table or two and some chairs, then invite them to the entire wedding. 
    image
    Blue_Bird
  • Ditto on the nope.

     Wedding Countdown Ticker

     

    Blue_Bird
  • auriannaaurianna
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2013
    I had a very similar situation. When I first got engaged I was in a different work group. I moved to a new group 6 months before my wedding and did the majority of my planning and guest list drafting before I knew many people in my new group.

    Invites went out after only 4 months of being there and I only invited two coworkers and their spouses as they were the only I'd gotten close to.
    Well two more months went by and I was a lot closer to a lot of my colleagues unfortunately the ship had sailed; invites we're out and we were at capacity.
    I was bummed I couldn't invite all my friends at work but it worked out fine. I just made sure not to talk about my wedding unless asked. A lot of people in the office still knew I was getting married and wished me well that weekend but no one seemed put out they weren't coming or seemed to expect an invite. After the honeymoon things at work were completely normal and our report continued to improve and we're still friends.

    It will be ok. Follow etiquette and do not invite people to just part of the wedding. Your wedding will be nice and no one who is reasonable at work will hold a grudge.
    Blue_Bird
  • @auriana- this is why you're not supposed to send invites 4 months in advance
    TeddiD34
  • They went out 4 months after I started work there, two months before the wedding. 6-4=2
    [Deleted User]NYCMercedesBlue_Bird
  • Gotcha- sorry!
  • It's too bad that you can't invite them, but PP are correct- it still would be rude. I'm sure they will understand!
  • I started a new job just days before getting engaged. When planning began, I didn't include co-workers on my guest list since I didn't know any of them. We rented a small venue that has only enough room for our small guest list of family and close friends. Several months have passed, my wedding is all planned and I've made some great friends at the office and I'd like them to be a part of the day. We cannot invite them to dinner because the venue doesn't hold more people for a sit down dinner. I know everyone thinks it's super tacky to invite people only to the snacks, desserts, cocktails, and dancing part of the evening, but I think my situation may be slightly different. I'm not doing it because we don't have the money. (I've seen a lot of people commenting that people will be offended and feel like you're saying they're not worth it to pay for their meal) We had our venue contracted for several months before I got to know my colleagues and it just doesn't fit the extra people. In this situation, am I allowed to do the after dinner invite? If so, how do I create a tactful invitation?

    Your situation isn't different. Don't do this. It is rude.
    ShesSoColdBlue_BirdKeptInStitchesSKPM
  • Either invite them to the whole thing or not at all.

    Inviting them only to the after dinner part is rude.
  • It is still rude.
  • You may feel bad for not inviting them, but it's even worse to just invite them for a portion.  Please don't do it.
    Simply Fated
  • Unfortunately, it's still rude and this situation is not special. 

  • It is still rude, so please do not do this.
    image 
  • Even if your circumstances were different, your co-workers wouldn't know that. They'd simply get an invite to the tail end of a wedding and most likely feel insulted. And trying to explain to them would just be weird IMO

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

  • I sort of have the same situation. We are only inviting a few local friends to the actual wedding. We do have several local friends/co-workers that we would probably have ended up inviting had we know them a year or two ago. Instead we are hosting a honeymoon sendoff party (we are leaving a few weeks after the wedding) for our local friends that is slightly less formal, but will still have food, drinks, and dancing. You may be able to modify the idea to work for you. Honeymoom welcome back? Just make sure that you are hosting them for a FULL event.
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