Military Brides

Mess Dress or Not?

My wedding colors are navy, bright yellow (sunflowers), with silver and white accents.  The girls are wearing navy dresses, the guys are wearing khaki suits with navy blue ties with little white polka dots.  When I first decided on all of this, I was not planning on my Air Force fiance wearing his "Mess Dress."  But now, I'm thinking about changing my mind.  The only problem is, his mess dress is a DARKER navy that the rest of the navy that the bridal party is wearing?  Will this look odd/bad?  I had seen everyone else say that navy goes with everything, but I don't want it to look like I TRIED to match the navy's and then failed miserably.  Should I put my handsome AF guy in his uniform or put him in khaki with the rest of the guys?

Re: Mess Dress or Not?

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited August 2013
    daphill said:
    My wedding colors are navy, bright yellow (sunflowers), with silver and white accents.  The girls are wearing navy dresses, the guys are wearing khaki suits with navy blue ties with little white polka dots.  When I first decided on all of this, I was not planning on my Air Force fiance wearing his "Mess Dress."  But now, I'm thinking about changing my mind.  The only problem is, his mess dress is a DARKER navy that the rest of the navy that the bridal party is wearing?  Will this look odd/bad?  I had seen everyone else say that navy goes with everything, but I don't want it to look like I TRIED to match the navy's and then failed miserably.  Should I put my handsome AF guy in his uniform or put him in khaki with the rest of the guys?

    First of all, what does he WANT to wear? That's most important. Second, everything goes with the dress uniform. The color of his outfit and the color of the BM's dresses have nothing to do with each other, at all, ever. He may never even ever stand next to a BM. Expect to see many guests in all different colors of navy. The difference in colors is a non-issue.
    frost2fa
  • Mess dress is fancy, khaki is not. Regardless of whether the groom wears his mess dress or something else, formality should match.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • I agree with what both ladies above have said.  

    1.  You were able to choose what you wear.  Why can't he decide what he wears?

    2. The formality of the uniform and what the groomsmen wear should match.  Mess dress = tux.  Khaki suit =/= tux.  


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  • Matching the navy colors do not matter at all. Let you FI wear whatever he prefers. I personally loooove the uniform. 

  • MousyAestheteMousyAesthete
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    member
    edited August 2013
    i kind of disagree with what everyone else is saying about having to match mess dress with tuxes.  while that is true, no doubt your bridesmaids are going to have dresses that are not at all as formal as yours, so i don't see why your non-military groomsmen need to be in formal black tuxes just because your husband is in his mess dress.  we had a very formal wedding in a big church.  my husband wore his USAF mess dress but since it was a summer wedding and my colors were pastel/lighter, we had the groomsmen wear grey suits with navy ties and the bridesmaids wear short pastel dresses.  i thought everyone looked very nice (link below) :)  even if it wasn't long dresses and tuxes, i think it "fit" more of the style we were going for--- fun and summery.  no matter what you guys will look great.  :o)

    here is my wedding party with *gasp* USAF mess dress mixed with light-colored suits!!:

  • You do realize the use of the bowtie with your "omg gasp I do whatever I want cause I think I'm such an expert" grey suits gives them the appearance of being more formal, possibly even being tuxes right, PP? In fact, my husband's guys that were non military wore tuxes that looked exactly like your so-called suits but theirs were black. Hmmmm.
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  • ??  my husband chose the ties (bowtie over regular tie) and the suits.  i would have been OK with whatever he chose.  my point is not that i'm an expert, my point is that she doesn't have to dress all of the men in black tuxes if she doesn't want to.  i didn't and i thought everyone looked great (some people might disagree).  i think a more constructive way to make the same point you were saying is "maybe consider wearing bowties to make them look more formal."  thanks for that suggestion  :)
  • I was just pointing out that you were being a smarty pants with your little "gasp" i did it attitude. No one said her tuxes had to be black either. Tuxes come in many colors. We simply suggested that a tux or something tux-like in appearance would look best and that she allow her FI to choose his own attire as well as the groomsmen.
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  • We said the formality should match, not the colors. Reading is fundamental. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
    NYCMercedesmanjermjkmmssg
  • um... You are supposed to match the formality of the dresses, too.  You may think it looks nice, but the rest of us are looking at short bridesmaids dresses next to a super formal ball gown bridal dress and going 0_o.  


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    kmmssgmelbelleup
  • MousyAestheteMousyAesthete
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    member
    edited August 2013
    my bridesmaids loved their dresses, which is the only thing that really mattered to me. it depends on your family and friends.  no one we invited, except maybe my coworkers, would care too much or even notice "matching formalities" (long BM dress v. short one, regular tie v. bowtie).  as long as your bridal party is dressed nicely and not in flip flops and button-up linen shirts, many people won't even notice stuff like this.  i have been to 4 weddings this year and don't even remember what the bridal party was wearing in any of them... but that's just me.  as long as she comes from a same culture as i do, I think that what the original poster proposed should work just fine, but she (and her husband, if he has an opinion) might want to look at pictures of other bridal parties to see what they like.
  • Well, isn't that a nice, big F U to the girls who get married on the beach.  


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  • Oh hey. I got married on the beach. Guys wore khakis and linen shirts. It was in Florida in August. What would you suggest they should have worn lol?
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  • MousyAestheteMousyAesthete
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    member
    edited August 2013
    @ggirl2001:  did your groom wear his mess dress?  if so, original poster-- there you go!  a girl had a wedding party mixing mess dress and khakis and the world did not end.  :)

    also-- i just realized that some people may have totally misinterpreted what i said.  i did NOT mean to suggest that beach weddings were "not nice".  i think beach weddings are lovely.  what i was saying is that beach wedding w/ mess dress is a much more obvious mixing of "formalities" than what the original poster was suggesting.  so while the mess dress is black tie, and his dress blues would traditionally be more appropriate for a more casual wedding (like a beach wedding), i don't see anything wrong with your groom wearing his mess dress-- it's his special day too. :)
  • Nope. No way in hell would H wear his dress blues on a beach in florida. I would prefer him to not pass out lol. At this point I'm just messing.
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    kyrgyzstan
  • @ggirl2001:  did your groom wear his mess dress?  if so, original poster-- there you go!  a girl had a wedding party mixing mess dress and khakis and the world did not end.  :)

    also-- i just realized that some people may have totally misinterpreted what i said.  i did NOT mean to suggest that beach weddings were "not nice".  i think beach weddings are lovely.  what i was saying is that beach wedding w/ mess dress is a much more obvious mixing of "formalities" than what the original poster was suggesting.  so while the mess dress is black tie, and his dress blues would traditionally be more appropriate for a more casual wedding (like a beach wedding),don't see anything wrong with your groom wearing his mess dress-- it's his special day too. :)
    I live on a beach, work weddings on the beach.  Never, ever seen that happen because most people aren't that tacky.  


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    NYCMercedes

  • @ggirl2001:  did your groom wear his mess dress?  if so, original poster-- there you go!  a girl had a wedding party mixing mess dress and khakis and the world did not end.  :)

    also-- i just realized that some people may have totally misinterpreted what i said.  i did NOT mean to suggest that beach weddings were "not nice".  i think beach weddings are lovely.  what i was saying is that beach wedding w/ mess dress is a much more obvious mixing of "formalities" than what the original poster was suggesting.  so while the mess dress is black tie, and his dress blues would traditionally be more appropriate for a more casual wedding (like a beach wedding),don't see anything wrong with your groom wearing his mess dress-- it's his special day too. :)
    Well, GG's H doesn't own Mess Dress. Not every service calls their uniforms the same thing. And Dress Blue Alphas are as formal as Mess Dress if you're a Marine and not an Airman. Which is why my husband wore Dress Blue Alphas and my MOH wore her Mess Dress. 

    The following is not my H or me. My H doesn't make faces like that and he's chestier than that guy. 

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    Does not belong on a beach, and frankly neither does the Air Force Service Dress, Semiformal Dress, or the blues, any of which could be what you're talking about when you say Dress Blues. On the sand beach weddings are too casual for any uniform. And before anyone horrifies me and says cammies, I'll just say that even the more liberal with their uniform regs branches don't think that's appropriate. 

    Also, can I just say I love that one of the Air Force optional uniform items is a cardigan?! http://www.afpc.af.mil/dress/optional.asp I want one! I love cardigans. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
    NYCMercedesiluvmytxrgr
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